Time of the Twins

Tasslehoff and Bupu caught up with the big man as he was standing in the middle of the trail, draining the last of the dwarf spirits from the flask. He leaned his head back, tilting it to get every drop. When he finally lowered the flask, it was to peer inside it in disappointment. Wobbling unsteadily on his feet, he shook it.

“All gone,” Tas heard him mumble unhappily. The kender’s heart sank.

“Now I’ve done it,” Tas said to himself in misery. “I can’t tell him about the disappearing inn. Not when he’s in this condition! I’ve only made things worse!”

But he hadn’t realized quite how much worse until he came up to Caramon and tapped him on the shoulder. The big man whirled around in drunken alarm.

“What ish it? Who’sh there?” He peered around the rapidly darkening forest.

“Me, down here,” said Tas in a small voice. “I—I just wanted to say I was sorry, Caramon, and—”

“Uh? Oh...” Staggering backwards, Caramon stared at him, then grinned foolishly. “Oh, hullo there, little fellow. A kender”—his gaze wandered to Bupu—“and a gu—gul—gull—gullydorf,” he finished with a rush. He bowed. “Whashyour—names?”

“What?” Tas asked.

“Whashyournames?” Caramon repeated with dignity.

“You know me, Caramon,” Tas said, puzzled. “I’m Tasslehoff.”

“Me Bupu,” answered the gully dwarf, her face lighting up, obviously hoping this was another game. “Who youl”

“You know who he is,” Tas began irritably, then nearly swallowed his tongue as Caramon interrupted.

“I’m Raistlin,” said the big man solemnly with another, unsteady bow. “A—a great and pow—pow—powerful—magic-user.”

“Oh, come off it, Caramon!” Tas said in disgust. “I said I was sorry, so don’t—”

“Caramon?” The big man’s eyes opened wide, then narrowed shrewdly. “Caramon’s dead. I killed him. Long ago in the Tow—the Twowr—the TwerHighSorshry.”

“By Reorx’s beard!” Tas breathed.

“Him not Raistlin!” snorted Bupu. Then she paused, eyeing him dubiously. “Is him?”

“N-no! Of course not,” Tasslehoff snapped.

“This not fun game!” Bupu said with firm decision. “Me no like! Him not pretty man so nice to me. Him fat drunk. Me go home.” She looked around. “Which way home?”

“Not now, Bupu!” What was going on? Tas wondered bleakly. Clutching at his topknot, he gave his hair a hard yank. His eyes watered with the pain, and the kender sighed in relief. For a moment, he thought he’d fallen asleep without knowing it and was walking around in some weird dream.

But apparently it was all real—too real. Or at least for him.

For Caramon, it was quite a different story.

“Watch,” Caramon was saying solemnly, weaving back and forth. “I’ll casht a magicshpell.” Raising his hands, he blurted out a string of gibberish. “Ashanddust and ratsnests! Burrung!” He pointed at a tree. “Poof,” he whispered, stumbling backward. “Up in flames! Up! Up! Burning, burning, burning... jusht like poor Caramon.” He staggered forward, wobbling down the trail.

“All of the waitresshes love you,” he sang. “Every dog ish your friend. Whatever you shay is jusht what you m-mean—”

Wringing his hands, Tas hurried after him. Bupu trotted along behind.

“Tree not burn,” she said to Tas sternly.

“I know!” Tas groaned. “It’s just... he thinks—”

“Him one bad magician. My turn.” Rummaging around in the huge bag that kept tripping her periodically, Bupu gave a triumphant yell and pulled out a very stiff, very dead rat.

“Not now, Bupu—” Tas began, feeling what was left of his own sanity start to slip. Caramon, ahead of them, had quit singing and was shouting something about covering the forest in cobwebs.

“I going to say secret magic word,” Bupu stated. “You no listen. Spoil secret.”

“I won’t listen,” Tas said impatiently, trying to catch up with Caramon, who, for all his wobbling, was moving along at a fair rate of speed.

“You listening?” Bupu asked, panting along after him.

“No,” Tas said, sighing.

“Why not?”

“You told me not to!” Tas shouted in exasperation.

“But how you know when to no listen if you no listen?” Bupu demanded angrily. “You try to steal secret magic word! Me go home.”

The gully dwarf came to a dead stop, turned around, and trotted back down the path. Tas skidded to a halt. He could see Caramon now, clinging to a tree, conjuring up a host of dragons, by the sounds of it. The big man looked like he would stay put for a while at least. Cursing under his breath, the kender turned and ran after the gully dwarf.

“Stop, Bupu!” he cried frantically, catching hold of a handful of filthy rags that he mistook for her shoulder. “I swear, I’d never steal your secret magic word!”

“You stole it!” she shrieked, waving the dead rat at him. “You said it!”

“Said what?” Tasslehoff asked, completely baffled.

“Secret magic word! You say!” Bupu screamed in outrage.

“Here! Look!” Holding out the dead rat, she pointed ahead of them, down the trail, and yelled, “I say secret magic word now—secret magic word! There. Now we see some hot magic.”

Tas put his hand to his head. He felt giddy.