Three Little Words

“Sorry. But you can’t really blame me. You acted like it most—”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

“Just because I didn’t talk about sex in front of our friends doesn’t mean I’m a prude!”

“All right, fair enough. But still… you have to admit, you hid your fantasies and past pretty well. I mean, it’s taken me two years to figure it out, and that’s only because you’ve told me most of it. I’d’ve never imagined that you like some of the things you do.”

“Girls have to be good at hiding things,” she said, “especially about sex.”

“True. Society’s double standard.”

“But I don’t have to hide anything with you. And… I think that’s the biggest reason I’m attracted to you. I mean, your body’s nice, and I love your talent and intelligence and sense of humor, but the fact that you’re perverted like me is the best part.”

“I still don’t like that word,” I said. “Like you and ‘nympho.’”

“Okay. Then let’s find a word you do like.”

I grinned when I realized she’d repeated my own words back to me.

“Mmm hmm,” she said. “I told you, I’m always paying attention.”

“And you have an incredible memory,” I agreed.

“I remember everything where you’re concerned.”

“That’s a blessing and a curse, I think.”

“Probably. But you’re stuck with it.”

“I can think of worse problems.”

She smiled and said with saccharine venom, “Like a creepy architect girlfriend who doesn’t like girls or blowjobs or even sex?”

I blinked. “Wow, that was… harsh.”

“Sorry. I was really upset when you started dating her. I thought I’d lost you, for real.”

“Ha! No. I came to my senses.”

“I know that… now. But at the time…?” She shrugged. “I guess that’s why I hate her so much.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry. She’s out of my life for good. And you’re in my life. Also for good.”

“Mmm, I like hearing you say that.”

“Me too. Now, let’s find a word I like more than ‘pervert.’” I thought about it. “How ’bout ‘rebel’?” I said at last. “I thought about ‘free spirit,’ but that’s too hippie for me.”

She scrunched her nose.

“But ‘rebel’ fits. We’re both rebels in our own way. You against your upbringing—”

“Some of my upbringing.”

“Right. And me against society and sexual prejudices.”

Her eyes glittered with a smile. “We’re both pretty normal, though. On the outside, at least.”

“But in the privacy of our own room? Or with our close friends?”

“We’re total rebels,” she agreed. “And we can be as kinky and perverted as we like!”

“Exactly!”

We shared a grin that faded to a happy smile. Then she smoothed her hand over the cover of her sketchbook.

“Okay,” she said slowly, “I know how you feel, but I—”

“I want to see it,” I said. “I know they’re guys from your past, and I know you had sex with them—”

“With one!” she squawked.

“Oral sex is still sex.”

“Fine! If you say so.”

“I say so. Trust me. Even jerking off is sex. It’s solo sex, but it’s still sex.”

“Yeah, okay. I get it. But ‘sex’ to me is ‘penis in vagina.’ And you should be glad that’s what I think! Otherwise we wouldn’t be doing anything at all.

I’d be miserable and probably dating a gay guy, and you’d be sleeping with some bimbo with big boobs who doesn’t like half the things I do.”

“Probably,” I laughed. Then I grew serious. “You seem to be hung up on your breasts. You know I—”

“I know. ‘Can you touch ’em?’ Yeah, I get it. But still, I’m so small. I mean, I don’t look like any of the women in Playboy.”

“Who cares? Okay, Hugh Hefner, obviously, but not me. I’ve told you before, you’re the petite model. I like you better than the women in Playboy.

Most of ’em are too hairy for my taste. And they all seem to come from the same mold. I mean, Hefner definitely has a type. But real beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. You know?”

“But don’t think I don’t notice how you react when you meet a woman like Carolyn. You made an effort to look her in the eye.”

“Part of that is just being polite,” I said. “But also ’cause I don’t want to make you feel self-conscious. I like your body, especially how we go together. I mean, Kendall had big boobs, and we never quite matched. You and I do. We’re the right proportions, if that makes sense.

“So, yeah,” I continued, “I think Carolyn’s attractive, and I’m a guy, so I notice breasts, but I’m not hung up on ’em or anything. Well, I am—I’m totally a breast-man—but small and firm is just as nice as big and soft.

Besides, I like other things more than breasts. A healthy attitude about sex, for example. You know that.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, back to your sketchbook…”

“Yeah, sorry. I guess I’m still nervous about showing you, so I keep coming up with distractions.”

“I get it. This is like if I had a sketchbook with Gina and Kendall.”

“Not to mention twenty-eight more.”

“Thirty’s just a guess,” I said. “I really haven’t counted. It’s probably less.”

“Or maybe more.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Whereas I know exactly how many men I’ve had.”

“What can I say?” I said. “I didn’t think I’d need to keep score.”

She grinned. “Well, you’re the man, so you’re supposed to win this one.”

“There’s that double standard again,” I warned.