pile up on the ground outside.
There were tons of people there. I saw Lana and Josh (ugh), Justin Baxendale with his usual flock of adoring fans, and Shameeka and Ling Su and a bunch of other people. Even Kenny was there, though when he saw me he went bright red
and turned around and started talking to this girl from our Bio class. Oh well.
Everyone was there, except the one person I'd been most dreading. Or hoping to see. I didn't know which.
Then I saw Judith Gershner. She had changed out of her overalls and looked quite pretty in this red Laura Ashleyish dress.
But she wasn't dancing with Michael. She was dancing with some boy I'd never seen before.
So I looked around for Lilly and finally spotted her using one of the payphones. I went up to her and was like, 'Where's your brother?'
Lilly hung up the phone. 'How should I know?' she demanded. 'It's not my turn to babysit him.'
I went - oddly comforted by her demeanour, which simply proved that no matter how much other things change, Lilly always stayed the same - 'Well, Judith Gershner is here, so I just figured—'
'For God's sake,' Lilly said.
'How many times do I have to tell you?
I went, 'Oh, right. Then why have they spent every waking moment together for the past two weeks?'
'Because they were working on that stupid computer program for the Carnival,' she said. 'Besides, Judith Gershner already
has a boyfriend.' Lilly grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me around so I could see Judith on the dance floor. 'He goes
to Trinity.'
I looked at Judith Gershner as she slow-danced with a boy who looked a lot like Kenny, only older and not as uncoordinated.
'Oh,' I said.
'Oh is right,' Lilly said. 'I don't know what is wrong with you today, but I can't deal with you when you're acting like such a freak. Sit down right here' - she pulled out a chair -'and don't you dare get up. I want to know where to find you when I
need to.'
I didn't even ask Lilly why she
might need to find me. I just sat down. I felt like I couldn't stand up
any more. I was
It wasn't that I was disappointed. I mean, I didn't want to see Michael. At least, part of me didn't.
Another part of me
But I was sort of afraid of the answer.
Because it might not be the one I was hoping it would be.
After a while, Lars and Wahim came and sat down next to me. I felt like a complete tool. I mean, there I was, sitting at a
dance with two bodyguards, who were deep in a discussion about the advantages versus the disadvantages of rubber bullets. Nobody was asking me to dance. Nobody would, either.
Why was I even staying? I had done what Grandmere said. I had shown up. I had proved to everyone that I wasn't a coward. Why couldn't I leave? I mean, if I wanted to?
I stood up. I said to Lars, 'Gome on. We've been here long enough. I still have a lot of packing to do. Let's go.'
Lars said OK and started to get up. Then he stopped. I saw that he was looking at something behind me. I turned around.
And there was Michael.
He had obviously just gotten there. He was out of breath. His bow tie wasn't tied and there was still snow in his hair.
'I didn't think you were coming,' he said.
I knew my face had gone as red as Judith Gershner's dress. But there wasn't anything I could do about that. I said,
'Well, I almost didn't.'
He said, 'I called you a bunch of times. Only you wouldn't come to the phone.'
I said, 'I know.' I was wishing
the floor of the gym would open up, like in
'Mia,' he said. 'With that thing today. I didn't mean to make you cry.'
Or the floor could open and I could just fall and keep falling, for ever and ever and ever. That would be OK too. I stared at
the floor, willing it to crack apart and swallow me up.
'It didn't,' I said. 'I mean, it wasn't that. It was something Kenny said.'
'Yeah,' Michael said. 'Well, I heard you two broke up.'
Yeah. Probably by now the whole school had. Now, I knew, my face was even redder than Judith's dress.
'The thing is,' Michael went on, 'I knew it was you. Who was leaving those cards.'
If he had reached inside my chest, pulled out my heart, flung it to the floor and kicked it across the room, it could not possibly have hurt as much as hearing that. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears all over again.
'You did?' You know, it's one "thing to have your heart broken. But to have it happen at a school dance, in front of
everyone . . . well, that's harsh.
'Of course I did,' he said. He sounded impatient. 'Lilly told me.'
For the first time, I looked up into his face.
He waved his hand. 'I don't know. Your friend Tina told her, I guess. But that's not important.'