Third Time Lucky

Guys Mia Thermopolis Could See Herself Committing To for All Eternity

1. Wolverine of the X-men.

2. That Gladiator guy.

3. Will Smith.

4. Tarzan from the Disney cartoon.

5. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast.

6. That hot soldier guy from Mulan.

7. The guy Brendan Fraser played in The Mummy.

8. Angel.

9. Tom on Daria.

10. Justin Baxendale.

But this list turned out to be no good, because Lilly totally took it and analyzed it, and it works out that half the guys on it are actually cartoon characters; one is a vampire, and one is a mutant who can make spikes shoot out of his knuckles.

In fact, except for Will Smith and Justin Baxendale - the good-looking senior who just transferred from Trinity and who a lot

of girls at Albert Einstein High School are already in love with — all the guys I listed are fictional creations. Apparently, the

fact that I could list no guy I had a hope of actually getting together with - or who even lives in the third dimension — is indicative of something.

Not, of course, indicative of the fact that the guy I like was actually in the room at the time, sitting next to his new girlfriend,

and so I couldn't list him.

Oh, no. Nobody thought of that.

No, the lack of actual attainable men on my list was apparently indicative of my unrealistic expectations where men are concerned, and further proof of my inability to commit.

Lilly says if I don't lower my expectations somewhat I am destined for an unsatisfactory love life.

As if the way things have been going, I've ever expected anything else.

Kenny just tossed me this note:

Mia -I'm sorry about what happened today in the hattway. I understand now that Iembarrassed you. Sometimes 1 forget that even though you are a princess, you are still quite introverted. 1 promise never to do anything of the sort again. Can 1 make it up to you by taking you to lunch at 'Big Wong on Thursday? - Kenny

I said yes, of course. Not just because I really like Big Wong's steamed vegetable dumplings, or even because I don't want people thinking I fear commitment. I didn't even say yes because I suspect that, over dumplings and hot tea, Kenny is finally going to ask me to the Non-Denominational Winter Dance.

I said yes because, in spite of it all, I really do like Kenny, and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

And I'd feel the same way even if I weren't a princess and always had to do the right thing.

Homework:

Algebra: review questions at the end of Chapters 4—7

English: term paper

World Civ.: review questions at the end of Chapters 5-9

G & T: none

French: review questions at the end of Chapters 4—6

Biology: review questions at the end of Chapters 6-8

Tuesday, December 8, 4 p.m.,

in the limo on the Way to the Plaza

The following conversation took place between Mr. Gianini and me today after Algebra review:

Mr G: Mia, is everything all right?

Me: (Surprised) Yes. Why wouldn't it be?

Mr G: Well, it's just that I thought you'd pretty much grasped the FOIL method, but on today's pop quiz you got all five problems wrong.

Me: I guess I've sort of had a lot on my mind.

Mr G: Your trip to Genovia? Me: Yeah, that, and . . . other things.

Mr G: Well, if you want to talk about the, um, other things, you know I'm always here for you. And your mother. I know we might seem preoccupied with the baby and everything, but you're always number one on our list of priorities. You know that, don't you?

Me: (Mortified) Yes. But there's nothing wrong. Really.

Thank God he doesn't know about my nostrils. And, really, what else could I have said? 'Mr G, my boyfriend is a nutcase but I can't break up with him on account of Finals, and I'm in love with my best friend's brother?'

I highly doubt he'd be able to offer any meaningful advice on any of the above.

Tuesday, December 8, 7 p.m.

I don't believe this. I'm home before Baywatch Hawaii starts for the first time in like months. Something must be wrong with Grandmere. Although she seemed pretty normal at our lesson today. I mean, for her. Except that she kept stopping me in the middle of my reciting the Genovian pledge of allegiance (which I have to memorize, of course, for when I am visiting schools

in Genovia. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of a bunch of five-year-olds for not knowing it) to ask me what I'd

decided to do about Kenny.

It's kind of funny about her taking an interest in my personal life since she certainly never has before. Well, not very much, anyway.