The World Without Flags

“Let’s not ever talk about what just happened,” I say to him, and then I shove Squint back roughly and fumble for the padlock. Squint just stands there like nothing happened. The key fits and the door opens forward! I race to the back of the cell and unfurl Eric’s shirt from his head, pulling it on him as quick as I can, trying to ignore the disgusting black stains in his t-shirt underneath. The feeling of grabbing Eric and leading him through the cell door is so gratifying that I laugh out loud and notice that I’m crying too, silent tears. I wipe my eyes and sniff and then I carefully lead Squint into the cage before I shut the door behind him.

“Have fun with the Doctor,” I say before I drop the key to the floor.

But we’re not free yet.

86

I’m about to leave with Eric when I remember the little girl and the woman. I stand there, indecisive. I breathe and think. Down the hall, I see the solid metal doors, and behind some of them, I imagine, are prisoners, all risking the same fate that I so narrowly avoided. Every moment I stand there, I know I’m risking being caught. I think about Doctor Bragg and his experiments. Can I leave them to be infected and then slit open and studied while they’re still alive? I look up at Eric and wish he could tell me what to do. He stands there senselessly, his jaw open. Suddenly, I know what Eric would do.

“Stay here,” I say to Eric needlessly.

I move down to the other doors. Unlike my door, they are not locked, only latched from the outside. I begin to open them up one by one, without seeing if there’s anyone in them. I don’t know why, but I don’t want to see their faces. I just want to give them this chance. That’s what I can give them. That’s what I can offer. It’s not much, but I can’t do more. I hear some rustling in a couple of the cells, but I don’t stay to see. I rush back down the hall and grab Eric. I thought I would feel good about opening the doors, but I don’t. I feel as if there is more that I can do, if I was just brave enough. I can’t think about it right now. I can’t.

There are only two doors out of this area: one leads back through the labyrinth of hallways and doors in the warehouse. I remember that area but only vaguely. The thought of wandering through all those hallways while at any moment someone could come around a corner feels hopeless to me. Even if we did move through that maze, the door opens up to a main street that runs through the town. I remember all those filthy, scarred faces jeering at us when we arrived. We can’t go that way. The other option is not much better. When I was strapped down in Dr. Bragg’s chair, I noticed another door, the door in the corner. It might lead outside. It’s a big gamble, but I feel it’s the only choice I have.

I turn away from the hallway and lead Eric back, pass our prison cell. I notice for a moment that Squint is standing where I left him facing the wall, his right arm held out and dangling strangely from the elbow. He looks like a scarecrow. I turn away and nudge Eric toward the first door. Without the pounding rain, everything seems quiet now, still and dangerous. I move through the little hallway, listening to Eric shuffle loudly. Before I’m ready for it, I’m standing in front of the door to Doctor Bragg’s laboratory, breathing as hard as I had last time I was here. I can’t believe that I’m going to go back in there. By choice. I clench my hand to keep from shaking. It’s my best choice, I tell myself. It’s our best chance of getting out of this hell alive. I turn Eric’s to the wall, knowing he can’t sneak or be quiet. I have to go myself to make sure the way is clear. Then I’ll come back for him.

I reach out and push the handle slowly.

The door opens and a draft blows in the foulness of corpses and Worms.

I tremble and then crouch down. My heart thunders and my vision blurs.

Leaving Eric at the door, I crawl inside.

87

The laboratory is dark this time, lit only by a single lamp on a bench at the far end of the room. It’s soundless and there’s a suffocating stench of chemicals in the room that is so strong, I’m surprised it can’t be seen like a smog.

I crawl forward, quiet as a cat on the prowl. When I was bound in the metal chair, I couldn’t see behind me. Now I see there’s two rows of stainless steel shelves here, filled with jars and cans and all kinds of implements that I’m not going to think about. For a second, I wonder if I could burn the place down. I’d love to see it go up in flames, turning all this insanity and perversity to ashes, but I’m not sure if I could get out with Eric safely. It seems suicidal. Still the thought of seeing this place caught in a fiery blaze is a powerful temptation.