The Undertaker

“Well, I dropped some names on them – the New Jersey Capo and some of his hoods who are missing, a guy in Atlanta and his wife, a couple from Portland, a couple from Phoenix… and Eddie. Those are the names they buried the hoods under. I was trying to shake them up, that's why I mentioned their names... and Eddie's. Anyway, when I got away and headed for Chicago, they must have put two and two together and found out about you the same way I did. That's why they put a tap on your phone.”

“You dumb bastard!” She jumped to her feet and pointed at the door. “I was doing just fine until you came along.”

“No, no. They'd have figured it out sooner or later. Then you'd have quietly disappeared some night and never known what hit you.”

She continued to stare at me, still angry. “Wait a minute, are you some kind of cop or spy or something?”

“No. All I did was go to the public library and looked back through the obituaries. It's all there in the newspapers, if you know what you're looking for. That's how I found the one for Eddie and decided to come to Chicago. I need to find some hard evidence that shows Eddie died here, not in Columbus. When I got in town a couple of hours ago, I started calling Kasmareks. That's how I tracked you down.”

“Yeah? Well nobody was bothering me until you showed up.”

“No, you were in danger long before that. But we're safe for the moment. They think I never showed up. And they don't think you know anything.”

She looked across at me and shook her head, still trying to take it all in. “Okay, let's say all this stuff you're telling me is true. Why Eddie? Why would anybody pick a weasel like him?”

“He was the right age. No close relatives. And the timing and distance worked for their computer. Who knows? All they wanted was a general match.”

“With what? Another shit head?”

“No,” I laughed. “He was a nobody, that was the whole point, someone with no ties and no family who wouldn't be remembered. Look, if you want me out of here, I need a copy of Eddie's death certificate from Cook County, maybe his obituary from the Chicago papers or a copy of the insurance payoff. Do you have any of that stuff?”

“I wasn't keeping souvenirs.”

“But you do have them?”

“Yeah, I have them.” She relented. “They're in a shoe box on the top shelf of my closet. Nobody else would do it, so I got stuck closing out his “affairs.” The bastard had “affairs” all right, with anything warm that would spread their legs for him.”

“Sandy, I really am sorry to stir this all up for you. I know that under all that raw anger, you still hurt. I know.”

“Yeah, well, the dumb jerk couldn't even die right.” She looked at me and frowned. “And don't try to play me, Talbott. Been there, done that.”

“Okay. But, the papers. Can we go over and get them? I can get some copies made and get out of town, and then you can pretend I was never here.”

She stared at me for a moment, not comprehending. “What? You want me to go back to my apartment? Now ? With you? Au contraire.” She shook her head.

“I'm at the end of my rope, Sandy.”

“That's a good place for you to stay. I live up in Winnetka, there's no way...”

“Winnetka? You live at 1414 Clark.”

She glared at me again, but all I could do was shrug, trying to look my most helpless. “I followed you this morning. I had to know which side you were on.”

“What makes you think I'm on yours?”

“Look, pretty soon the guy in the sunglasses and his three pals will come walking through that door looking for you, so help me, please.” It must have been my look of complete hopelessness, but something worked.

“Oh, man,” she moaned. “I'm supposed to open up the shop in ten minutes. I'm up to twelve dollars an hour now and if Old Man Fantozzi docks me a day's pay, I'm really going to be pissed.”

I pulled out Dannmeyer's coffee money, peeled off a one-hundred dollar bill, and laid it on the table. “That should buy me hour or two.”

The expression on her face turned cold and angry as she shoved the money back across the table. “I don't know what you think I am, but I'm not for sale.”

“Hey, I didn't mean anything,” I quickly back peddled. “All I was doing was making sure this doesn't cost you anything, okay? And I apologize if you took it wrong, but I really do need your help.”

She stared at me a while longer before she finally relented. “Okay, I'll get that stuff for you,” she said. “I just can't believe I'm letting you drag me into this thing.”

“I didn't, Eddie did.”

“Men. You're all such bastards.”

“Probably,” I stood up. “But let's get out of here while we still can.”

She picked up a pen and scribbled a quick note on a pad of paper on the desk. “That's for old man Fantozzi. I told him I'm out shopping with his wife.”

“Won't he check?”

“Are you kidding? He got grabby in the storeroom last week and he knows if I say a word to his wife, she'd kill him.” She looked over at me long and hard once again. “Just remember, if you're bullshitting me, you'll wish I was the FBI.”

“With this honest face?” I gave her my best smile.