The Turing Option

“It’s good to be back in harness! While you were on your way here I called DigitTech Products’ 800 number. They have a salesman in this area — and he is going to give a demonstration here at nine tomorrow morning.”

“Perfect. Your accountant, that is me, will join you at that time. Call me Benck, though, not Benicoff.”

The rain was lashing loudly against the hotel room window. Benicoff closed the curtains and turned on the radio in the hopes that the music might drown it out. He was well into the company report before the rare steak, no potatoes and a green salad, pot of coffee arrived. He ate slowly, reading, digesting meal and report at the same time.

The salesman was late next morning; it was almost ten before the van stopped in the greenhouse drive.

“Sorry about that, traffic and fog. The name is Joseph Ashley but everyone calls me Joe. You’re the owner, Mr. Nisiumi?”

While the introductions were being made the van driver was loading a large carton onto the hand truck; he wheeled it into the greenhouse. Joe himself pulled off the cover to proudly reveal — “Bug-Off. And that’s what this little baby is. The mechanical answer to all your biological problems.”

The machine looked very much like a fat fire extinguisher. It was a squat red canister slung between six spiderlike legs. From its top sprouted two jointed metal arms, each ending in a cluster of metal fingers. Benicoff hid his sudden great interest behind an accountant’s suspicious scowl. The redivided fingers, although larger, bore a distant resemblance to the branching manipulators of the AI.

“I’ll just take the travel locks off these arms and we will be ready to go.” Joe pulled free the restraining foam blocks, then took a red canister the size of a cigar box out of the carton and held it up. “Power supply. This plugs into any socket and is secured at ground level. Bug-Off is completely self-powered and self-contained. Right now his battery is charged and he’s raring to go. Night and day if needs be. And when his power gets low — why, he just trundles him-self over to this charger and gets a fix.”

“Sounds expensive,” Benicoff grunted.

“Looks expensive, Mr. Benck, and it is expensive. But not to you. You will find that our lease rates are more than reasonable. And I’ll bet my bippy that this bug-blasting Bug-Off will pay for himself from the word go.”

“Do you program it, or do I follow it around or what?” Nisiumi asked.

“It is so easy to use that you will just not believe it until you see this bug-plucking little guy in action. All that you do is just turn it on — and step back!” Joe did just that, throwing the power switch and stepping back. Motors whirred and the two arms extended to both sides, long metal fingers waving gracefully in the air. “This is the search program. Detectors in the tips of the fingers are looking for plant life. Day or night, as I said, see how they glow with their own light source?”

Drive motors hummed, the legs lifted and lowered gracefully as the machine picked its way in a very dainty manner toward the walkway between the plants. It stopped at the first vine and both arms slapped out, picked their way over the soil to the stems beyond. They moved quickly now, flicking over the leaves and stems, apparently caressing the green lengths of the cucumbers, running lightly over the yellow flowers on their tips. There was a quick click as the lid on the arm flicked open then shut again.

“No chemicals, no poisons, no pollution — wholly organic. Even though you are watching this happen before your very own eyes I’ll wager that you can’t believe it. I don’t blame you — for this is something entirely new in the universe. Before your very eyes there are almost invisible eyes at work, the optic cells on those fingertips which are now seeking out aphids, spiders, mites — bugs of any kind. When one is found it is plucked off the plant — just like that. Picked off and whisked away. Bug-Off’s arms are hollow and they will soon be filled with bugs. A treat for your pet bird or lizard — or use it as fertilizer. There it is, gentlemen — the mechanical miracle of our age!”

“Looks dangerous,” Benicoff said sourly.

“Never! Built-in protection. Won’t touch anything except a plant and if you or anyone else gets in the way it stops automatically.”

The salesman walked over and grabbed onto a cucumber just ahead of the flashing fingers. The moving hand withdrew and the machine beeped unhappily until he let go.

“I don’t know,” Benicoff said. “What do you think, Mr. Nisiumi?”

“If it works the way Joe says it does — well then maybe there is a possibility. We both know that organically grown vegetables fetch a better price.”

“What’s the minimum lease period?” Benicoff asked.

“One year—”

“Too long. We gotta talk. In the office.”

Benicoff squeezed the contract terms as far as he could. Got a few concessions, made none of his own. Joe sweated a bit and his smile faded but in the end they reached agreement. The contracts were signed, hands shook, Joe’s smile returned.