The Truth

Sacharissa clapped with desperate enthusiasm. 'No, no! We're all very impressed! Aren't we, everyone?' Out of Otto's sight, she waved one hand very deliberately at the dwarfs. There was another ragged chorus of agreement.

'I mean, I haf been going through "cold bat" now for more than three months,' muttered Otto. 'It is such a disgusting thing to break down now and--'

'Oh, raw meat's nothing,' said Sacharissa. That's allowed, isn't it?'

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'Yes, but for a second there I nearly--'

'Yes, but you didn't,' said Sacharissa. 'That's what's important. You wanted to and didn't.' She turned to the dwarfs. 'You can all go back to what you were doing,' she said. 'Otto is perfectly all right now.'

'Are you sure--' Boddony began, and then nodded. He'd rather have argued with a wild vampire than Sacharissa at this moment. 'Right you are, miss.'

Otto sat down, wiping his forehead, as the dwarfs filed out.

Sacharissa patted his hand. 'Do you want a drink--'

'Oh!'

'--of water, Otto?' said Sacharissa.

'No, no, everythink is okay, I think. Uh. Oh dear. My goodness. I am so sorry. You think you are on top of it, and then suddenly it all comes back to you. Vot a day...'

'Otto?'

'Yes, miss?'

'What actually happened when I grabbed the eel, Otto?'

He winced. 'I think zis is maybe not the time--'

'Otto, I saw things. There were... flames. And people. And noise. Just for a moment. It was like watching a whole day go past in a second! What happened?'

'Veil,' Otto said reluctantly, 'you know how salamanders absorb light?'

'Yes, of course.'

'Veil, zer eels absorb dark light. Not darkness, exactly, but zer light vithin darkness. Dark light... you see, dark light... veil, it has not been properly studied. It is heavier than normal light, you see, so most of it is under zer sea or in zer really deep caves in Uberwald, but zer is always a little of it even in normal darkness. It really is very fascinating--'

'It's a kind of magical light. Right. Could we just get more towards the point a bit?'

'I have heard it said that dark light is zer original light from vhich all other types of light came--'

'Otto!'

He held up a pale hand. 'I haf to tell you these things! Haf you

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heard the theory that there is no such thing as zer present? Because if it is divisible, then it cannot be zer present, and if it is not divisible, then it cannot have a beginning which connects to zer past and an end that connects to zer future? The philosopher Heidehollen tells us that the universe is just a cold soup of time, all time mixed up together, and vot we call zer passage of time is merely qvantum fluctuations in zer fabric of space-time.'

'You have very long winter evenings in Uberwald, don't you?'

'You see, dark light is held to be zer proof of this,' Otto went on, ignoring her. 'It is a light vithout time. Vot it illuminates, you see... is not necessarily now.'

He paused, as if waiting for something.

'Are you saying it takes pictures of the past?' said Sacharissa.

'Or zer future. Or somevhere else. Of course, in reality zere is no difference.'

'And all this you point at people's heads?'

Otto looked worried. 'I am finding strange side things. Oh, zer dvarfs say that dark light has odd... effects, but zey are very superstitious people so I did not take that seriously. However

He scrabbled among the debris on his bench and picked up an iconograph.

'Oh, dear. Zis is so complicated,' said Otto. 'Look, zer philosopher Kling says zer mind has a dark side and a light side, you see, and dark light... is seen by zer dark eyes of zer mind

He paused again.

'Yes?' said Sacharissa politely.

'I vas vaiting for zer roll of thunder,' said the vampire. 'But, alas, zis is not Uberwald.'

'You've lost me there,' said Sacharissa.

'Veil, you see, if I vas to say something portentous like "zer dark eyes of zer mind" back home in Uberwald, zer would be a sudden crash of thunder,' said Otto. 'And if I vas to point at a castle on a towering crag and say "Yonder is... zer castle" a volf would be bound to howl mournfully.' He sighed. 'In zer old country, zer scenery is psychotropic and knows vot is expected of it. Here, alas, people just look at you in a funny vay.'

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'All right, all right, it's a magical light that takes uncanny pictures,' said Sacharissa.

'That's a very... newspaper vay of putting it,' said Otto politely. He showed her the iconograph. 'Look at zis vun. I vanted a picture of a dvarf vorking in the Patrician's study and I got zis.'

The picture was a wash of blurs and swirls, and there was a vague outline of a dwarf, lying down on the floor and examining something. But superimposed on this was quite a clear picture of Lord Vetinari. Two pictures of Lord Vetinari, each figure staring at the other.

'Well, it's his office and he's always in there,' said Sacharissa. 'Does the... magic light pick that up?'

'Maybe,' said Otto. 'Ve know that vot is physically zere is not alvays vot is really zere. Look at zis vun.'

He handed her another picture.