The Taming of the Queen

‘It is advantageous,’ he says. ‘A set of alliances to link the families. We gain their alliances: they’re friends with Gardiner and all who think like him. We would cease the endless struggle over the king. We could agree together how far reform is to go instead of fighting it out step by step. And they’d give me a fortune with her.’

I can see it is a good match. She is a daughter of a duke, and sister to Henry Howard, one of the king’s young commanders, reckless in Boulogne but still a favourite. If Thomas marries her, she will come to court, she will ask to be one of my ladies. I will have to watch him walk with her, dance with her, whisper to her. She will ask permission to leave my rooms early to go to his bed, she will go away from court to join him at Portsmouth. She will be his wife; I will attend her wedding and hear him swear to love and honour her. She will promise him to be bonny and blithe at bed and board. I think: I will never be able to bear it. I know that I must.

‘What does the king say?’ I ask the all-important, the only, question.

Thomas shows me his twisted smile. ‘He says that if Norfolk wants to give his daughter a husband he might as well choose a man so young and lusty as he will please her at all points. ’

‘Points?’

‘That’s what he said. Don’t torture yourself. It was years ago.’

‘But the marriage is proposed again now!’ I exclaim.

He bows, as if I have made a good remark in an argument that anyone may join. ‘It is.’

‘What will you do?’ I whisper.

‘What d’you wish?’ he returns, his eyes on Princess Elizabeth. ‘I am yours heart and soul.’

‘Is the king my father coming to watch?’ Princess Mary joins us and nods her head to Thomas’s bow.

‘Yes, he’s coming at once,’ I reply.

As I walk to dinner at the head of my ladies that night I pass Will Somers. He is throwing a ball in the air and catching it in a cup, a foolish little game. We hesitate as we go by.

‘Would you like to try?’ he asks Princess Elizabeth. ‘It’s harder than it looks.’

‘It can’t be,’ she says. ‘I can see, it’s nothing but catch.’

Will turns and gives her a fresh cup, a new ball. ‘You try,’ he says.

She throws the ball high, and confidently she stretches out the cup as it falls. She catches it perfectly and a splash of water from the cup drenches her. ‘Will Somers!’ she shouts and she runs at him. ‘I am soaked! I am drowned! You are a wretch and a varlet and a rogue!’

Instead of running, Will drops to his hands and knees and bounds down the gallery giving tongue as if he were a naughty dog. Elizabeth hurls the cup after him and catches him on his rump. Will howls and leaps up a stair and we all laugh.

‘At least you caught him,’ I say to her. Nan hands me a napkin and I pat Elizabeth’s laughing face and the lace at the neck of her gown. ‘You gave as good as you got.’

‘He’s a wretch,’ she says. ‘And I will tip a chamber pot on his head when he next walks beneath my window.’

The gentlemen of the court are waiting for us outside the hall. The king, tired by the archery, is dining in his rooms this evening.

‘What’s this?’ Thomas Seymour asks Elizabeth, seeing her damp hair. ‘Have you gone swimming?’

‘Will Somers and his stupid games,’ she says. ‘But I flung a cup at him.’

‘Shall I fight him for your good name?’ he smiles down at her. ‘Shall you have me as your knight errant? Just say the word and I am yours.’

I see her colour rise. She looks up at him and she is speechless, like a flustered child.

‘We will call on you,’ I say, to spare her.

He bows. ‘I am dining with the king. I will come to the hall after dinner.’

Without any word the ladies align themselves in order of precedence. I go before everyone and behind me comes Princess Mary, and then Elizabeth, then my ladies, in order, Anne Seymour in her place. We walk through the crowded hall and the men stand and salute me and the women curtsey. I go to the dais and my steward helps me into my great chair.

‘Tell Thomas Seymour to come to me when he leaves the king’s rooms,’ I say quietly.

The dinner is served far more quickly than when the king is calling for extra portions and sending the dishes all around the room. When everyone has eaten they clear the tables.

Thomas Seymour comes in through a side door, speaks to one man and then another and then appears at my side. ‘Will you dance, Your Majesty?’ he asks me.

‘No, I shall go to the king shortly,’ I say. ‘Was he in good spirits?’

‘I thought he was well.’

‘He is certain to ask me if you are still here, if you are staying for many days?’

‘You can tell him that I am leaving for Portsmouth tomorrow.’

Nan moves out of earshot and Catherine Brandon and some of the others take their places in a dance.

‘What do you think?’ Thomas says abruptly. ‘About my marriage?’

‘I have to say this without anyone knowing what I am feeling,’ I say. ‘I have to be stony-faced.’

‘You must,’ he says. ‘We have no choice.’

‘We have no choice in the matter of your marriage either.’ I turn and smile at him as if I have made an interesting small point of conversation.