The Rogue Crew

Queen Dukwina was sleeping soundly when she was ambushed by Captain Rake and his hares. She was immediately smothered by rugs, a lot of them, cutting off her muffled cries. The queen’s retinue slumbered soundly on, unaware of the incident. Silently, the hares carried her out of the dwelling. The empraking followed them, hopping excitedly alongside Miggory.

“I hope you’re going to take her far away so she won’t find her way back here. Promise me you will.”

The sergeant chuckled quietly. “Keep yore voice down, Majesty. Now, could ye point out this place where they’ve taken our maids?”

Empraking Dibby skipped eagerly along in front of them. “I’ll show you, follow me. Though I don’t know the way in—it’s a secret, you see!”

He led them to another dome, virtually unnoticeable to the casual observer. It looked like a solid wall connecting two dunes, much smaller than the main construction. Corporal Welkin, Flutchers and the captive stoat Crumdun staggered up, bearing the hulking form of Drander between them.

Welkin let Drander’s footpaws drop to the floor. “Whew, stripe me, that big buffoon weighs more’n three of us put t’gether! Is this where they’ve got our maids locked up, sah? How do we get into the confounded place? Can’t see any doors as such, wot!”

The little empraking kicked the bundle of rugs lightly. “She knows. Make her tell you—stick things in her that’ll loosen her tongue!”

Scutram chuckled. “My word, Dibby, you’re a proper little savage. Fancy doin’ that to your beloved!”

Captain Rake began undoing the rug bundle.

“Och, Ah’ve nae doubt the wee lad’s had plenty o’ provocation. Ah’d no’ like her tae be mah queen. The auld biddy has a tongue like an adder!”

He hauled the kicking Dukwina out of the rugs.

“Now, marm, will ye no’ open this thing for us?”

The queen straightened her wrinkled finery, then let out a piercing yell. “Guards! Heeeeeeelp meeeeeee!”

The empraking remarked wistfully, “I told you sticking things in her would’ve been best.”

Sergeant Miggory poked his head around the main dwelling entrance. “Sah, we’d best do somethin’ sharpish. They’re comin, h’armed t’the teeth an’ lookin’ like business!”

Captain Rake acted swiftly. “Lieutenant Scutram, hauld ontae the queen! Sergeant Miggory, take the column an’ keep them off! Young Bawdsley, stay by me. Ah’m goin’ tae force an entrance tae this place!”

The horde of shrews and lizards advanced, waving their weapons and hissing viciously. However, they halted short of the Long Patrol hares, who stood resolutely, ready for trouble. Dukwina’s army danced, bared their teeth and threatened, but they did not seem disposed to charge the young warriors.

Trug Bawdsley ran his paws over the smooth sandcemented surface in front of them. “Not havin’ much luck, sah. Can’t even find a flamin’ crack!”

Dukwina smirked. “Hah, an’ you won’t find a crack, either!”

Captain Rake replied coolly, “So we won’t find a crack, marm? Och, then Ah’ll just have tae make one!” Drawing both his claymores, he attacked the wall, striking it repeatedly in the same spot using the butt of his left blade as a hammer and the point of the right as a gouge. It produced a curious sound on the hardened shell.

Thock! Thock! Babbong! Thock!

Wilbee came from the entrance to report, saluting smartly. “Beg pardon, sah, but the sarn’t told me t’tell you that we can’t hold the foebeast off much longer. They’re gettin’ rather jolly close to us now. Sah!”

Rake left off his assault to spit on his paws. “Is that a spear you’re carryin’, young Wilbee?”

The young hare hefted it. “Rather, sah. Jolly heavy one, too—belonged to my pa, wot!”

Captain Rake took the weapon from Wilbee. “Aye, so’tis, a braw, hefty spear, Ah’d say.”

The captain paced back a few steps, then launched himself at the wall, gripping the spear with both paws. “Eulaliiiiaaaa!”

Rake’s mighty blow sent the point right through the wall, almost a third of the length of its shaft. He winked at Wilbee. “Nought like a guid spear, tell yore pa. Now give it a sidelong push wi’ me!”

As they pulled it sharply to one side, there was a rending crack. The wall split from top to bottom. Another two solid thwacks with the spear, and a big triangular piece of the structure fell away.

Rake pointed to the entrance he had made, bowing mockingly to Queen Dukwina. “After you, marm!”

As the column filed in, the captain kept Dukwina at spearpoint, in view of her army. He called out harshly to them, “Ah’d stay back if’n I were you, or ye’ll get yer queen back wi’ an awful hole through her, ye ken?”

The queen sneered. “You’re an officer and a creature of honour. You wouldn’t dare harm me!”

The captain jabbed her lightly with the spearpoint. “Marm, Ah’d dare anythin’ tae preserve the hares o’ mah platoon. Now, call yer beasties off!”

Dukwina squeaked hastily at her army, “Stay back, all of you—that is a command!”

The lizards and shrews were still hissing and wielding their weapons, but they made no move to charge.