The Ranch

“The food? I think it's good.” Zoe looked surprised. She had thought the pastry and bacon were delicious, and the eggs had just arrived and they smelled good too. But Tanya didn't mean the food, she meant the people.

“Not the food, dummy. The folks. I can smell it.”

“Oh.” Zoe understood, and glanced at Mary Stuart as she began to eat her eggs. She hadn't been planning to tell Tanya. “That. Oh, it's probably about par for the course.”

“Just tell me so I know what to expect. Are the natives friendly?” She was hoping they'd lose interest eventually, they sometimes did when she stayed somewhere, or sometimes she just had to leave and go somewhere else, but she wasn't planning to do that. She had hoped to remain low-key enough to blend in with the other people, but that was hopeless.

“Well, let's see.” Zoe looked at her, amazed at what happened to people whenever they were around her. “Four women want to know if your hair is real, two of their husbands want to know if you've had a boob job, or if they're real. One guy loves your ass. Three women think you've had a face-lift, but five others swear you haven't. There's a bunch of teenage girls dying for your autograph, but their mothers say they'll kill them if they ask, and all of the waiters are already in love with you and think you're gorgeous. I think that pretty much covers it, except for the little Mexican guy who made our eggs and wants to know if the rumor is true that you're originally Hispanic. I told him I didn't think so, and he was real disappointed.” As she listened, Tanya was grinning. She knew that Zoe was probably exaggerating a little bit, but it probably wasn't far off the mark. It was always like that. But as long as they stayed in control and kept their distance, she could live with it. If not, they would ruin her vacation.

“Tell the guy who loves my ass it's real, and I'll be happy to send his secretary a Xerox.”

“What about the boobs?” Zoe asked her seriously. “Are we prepared to make a statement on those?”

“Tell them to read People magazine. It'll be in there next week.”

“Oh, that's right, and another woman wants to know your birth sign. She swears you're Pisces just like her sister. She said you could be twins. She wants to show you a picture.”

“I can't believe this.” Mary Stuart looked at her in amazement. “How do you stand it?”

“I don't. I'm a little crazy,” Tanya said with a grin, taking a bite of oatmeal. “They say you get used to it, and maybe I have, and just don't know it.” The truth was she was willing to accept a lot of it, it was only when it went over the line or was really cruel that it hurt her. And most of the time it was, which was the problem. This kind of stuff, the birth signs, the questions, the autographs, it was all pretty harmless.

“It would drive me right out of my mind,” Zoe said honestly. “I used to cringe for you every time I saw your name in the tabloids.”

“I still do,” Mary Stuart said. “Sometimes I grab a bunch of them in the supermarket and hide them,” she said proudly, and Tanya smiled at her two friends. It was amazing, after two decades in Hollywood and all the people she'd met, these were still the two people she cared about most, and felt closest to. Being with them made her feel safe and protected.

“I don't know how you learn to live with it,” Tanya said with a sigh, “It still hurts so much sometimes, the stuff they write, the lies. It makes me want to run away and hide. Sometimes I just think I'll go back to Texas. But my agent says I can't escape it now. It's too big, and it's gone on for too long. He says if I retire it'll just go on forever, so I guess there's not much point in running away. At least this way, I get to sing, and make a little money.”

Mary Stuart laughed at that though. “A little money” to Tanya was a king's ransom. She saw the look in her friends’ eyes and laughed at herself. “Okay. A lot of money. But what the hell, there have to be some compensations.”

“This is one of them.” Zoe smiled and looked around her, grateful to be here. “You know, if it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have taken a vacation for another eleven years. This all just kind of happened spur-of- the-moment.”

“What finally made you come?” Tanya asked, she had forgotten to ask her, and Zoe hesitated for only a fraction of a second.

“I got the flu, and I was feeling like hell. And I got a really good relief doctor I know to do a locum tenens for me, that means he's covering for me. That's what he does for a living, it's his specialty, covering for other docs in their practices. He has no practice of his own. Anyway, he said he'd cover for me, and he kind of pushed me. And you had asked me about coming to Wyoming.”

“Good for him,” Tanya approved. “Is he married?”

“No. But he's not dating my patients, he's taking care of them,” Zoe laughed. Sometimes Tanya had a one-track mind. She had always loved arranging blind dates between their friends when they were in college.