The pillars of creation

"If you want to be a slave in life, then continue going around asking for others to do for you. They will oblige, but you will find the price is your choices, your freedom, your life itself. They will do for you, and as a result you will be in bondage to them forever, having given your identity away for a paltry price. Then, and only then, you will be a nobody, a slave, because you yourself and nobody else made it so."

"But, maybe, in this case, it's different-"

"The sun rises in the cast; there are no special exceptions, just because you wish it. I know of what I speak, and I am telling you, magic is not the answer. What do you think? If you had a spell that they didn't know you were Darken Rahl's daughter, then they would fall over themselves to open doors for you? They will open the door of your friend's cell for no one unless they think it should be opened. It would make no difference if there were a spell to turn you into a six-legged rabbit-they would still not open the doors you want opened just because you were now a sixlegged rabbit by the hand of magic."

"But magic-"

"Magic is a tool, not a solution."

Jennsen reminded herself to remain composed even though she wanted to seize the woman by the shoulders and shake her until she agreed to help. Unlike with Lathea, she did not intend to lose this chance for that help. "What do you mean, magic is not a solution? Magic is powerful."

"You have a knife. You showed it to me."

"That's right."

"And when you are hungry do you wave your knife in someone's face and demand their bread? No. You entice them to give you bread by giving them a coin in exchange."

"You mean you think they can be bribed?"

Another sigh. "No. Of all I know, I can tell you that they cannot be bribed-at least not in the conventional sense. However, the principle is not entirely without some parallel.

"When Friedrich wishes bread, he doesn't use his knife to take the bread from those who have it-at least not in the sense of how you wish to use magic. He uses his knife as a tool to carve figures and then he gilds them. He sells what he made with his knife, and then exchanges that coin for the bread.

"You see? If he would use the knife-the tool-to directly solve the problem of getting bread, it would do him more harm in the end. He would be a thief and hunted as such. He uses his head, instead, and uses the knife as a tool to create something with the aid of his mind, thus solving the problem of obtaining bread with his knife."

"You mean, then, that I need to use magic indirectly? I must somehow use magic as a tool to help me?"

Althea sighed heavily. "No, child. Forget magic. You must use your head. Magic is trouble. Use your head."

"I did," Jennsen said. "It wasn't easy, but I used my head to come to you to get help. It's a spell I need now as a tool to help me-to hide me. In that way it will be a tool, as you suggest."

Althea looked away into the hearth, watching the wavering flames. "I cannot help you in that way."

"I don't think you understand. I'm hunted by powerful men. I just need a spell to hide my identity-like you did when I was little, when I lived at the palace with my mother."

Still, the old woman stared off into the hearth. "I cannot do that. I don't have the power."

"But you do. You've already done it, once." A lifetime of frustration, fear, loss, and futility surfaced, bringing with it bitter tears. "I didn't travel all this way, suffer all this hardship, to have you tell me no! Lathea told me no, told me that only you can see the holes in the world, and that only you could help me. I must have your help, your spell, to hide me. Please, Althea, I'm begging for my life."

Althea would not look her in the eyes. "I cannot cast a spell like that for you."

Jennsen choked back the tears. "Please, Althea, I just want to be left alone. You have the power."

"I do not have what you've invented in your mind for me. I have helped you in the only way I can."

"How can you sit here knowing that other people are suffering and dying-and not help? How can you be so selfish, Althea? How can you not help when I need it?"

Friedrich put a hand under Jennsen's arm, lifting her to her feet. "I'm sorry, but you've asked what you would. You've heard what Althea has to say. If you're wise, you will use what you've learned to help yourself Now, it's time for you to leave."

Jennsen pulled away. "All I want is the help of a spell! How can she be so selfish!"

Friedrich's eyes blazed with fury, even if his voice did not. "You have no right to speak to us in that manner. You don't know anything about it, about the sacrifices she's made. It's time for you to-"

"Friedrich," Althea said in a soft voice, "why don't you make us some tea?"

"Althea, there is no reason you should have to explain any of it-least of all to her."

Althea smiled up at him. "It's all right."

"Explain what?" Jennsen asked.