The Mountain Shadow

‘Okay, but –’

‘I don’t like feeling bad, especially about you, so that has to be squared up, somehow. And the only way is for you to know what I’ve been doing, so you completely understand.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve been doing.’

‘You deserve to know.’

‘I don’t want to know. And I really don’t care.’

She laughed, and ran her hand up to my chest.

‘Sometimes, you’re funnier than the truth.’

‘And happier,’ I added, kissing her, and swimming in the black shadow with her.

Some time later she brought new cups of coffee to the bedside, and started again.

‘I wanted to get slum resettlement on the political agenda in Bombay.’

‘This is really good coffee,’ I said. ‘Italian?’

‘Of course, and stay on the subject.’

‘Slum resettlement,’ I said. ‘I get it. I’m just not sure I want to get it.’

‘Want to get what?’

‘Karla, I love you. I honestly don’t care what you’ve been –’

‘Humane, well-compensated resettlement for slum dwellers,’ she said. ‘You get that, right?’

She was imitating me, and doing a pretty good job.

‘I get that. I just –’

‘Ranjit and I met in an elevator,’ Karla said.

‘Karla –’

‘In a stuck elevator, to be precise.’

‘That’s a pretty good Ranjit metaphor. A stuck elevator.’

‘The elevator got stuck between the seventh and eighth floors for an hour,’ she said, crowding me into her memory.

‘An hour?’

‘Sixty long minutes. There was just the two of us, Ranjit and me.’

‘Did he make a pass at you?’

‘Of course. He flirted with me, and made a pass, and I slapped it away. So he made another pass, and I slapped it a lot harder, and then he sat on the floor and asked me what I wanted to achieve in life.’

I drank coffee, slapping Ranjit twice, in my mind.

‘It was the first time in my life that anyone ever asked me that question,’ she said.

‘I’ve asked you that question. I’ve asked you more than once.’

‘You asked me what I want to do,’ she said, ‘just like I ask you what you want to do. He asked me what I want to achieve in life. It’s a different question.’

‘It’s the same question, in a different elevator.’

She laughed, and then shook her head.

‘I’m not getting into that now, much as I’d love to kick your koans in the ass.’

‘The ass kicks,’ I said, straight-faced. ‘When the burden is great.’

‘I’m not doing this, Lin. I’m going to tell you what you need to know, and then I’ll aphorism your ass so bad you’ll think you’re drunk on homemade wine.’

‘Promise?’

‘Go with me, here.’

‘Okay, so you’re locked in a marriage, sorry, an elevator, with Ranjit, and when he can’t achieve you, he asks you what you want to achieve. What did you say?’

‘I answered it without thinking. I said I want to achieve decent resettlement for slum dwellers.’

‘What did he say?’

‘He said This is a fated connection. I’m going into politics, and I’ll make your program a priority, if you’ll marry me.’

‘He said this in the elevator?’

‘He did.’

‘And you accepted?’

‘I did.’

‘After an hour in an elevator?’

‘Yeah,’ she said, frowning.

She scanned my eyes, green queens prowling through my grey skies.

‘Hold it a minute,’ she demanded. ‘You don’t think a man would propose to me after an hour in a stuck elevator, is that it?’

‘I didn’t say –’

‘My fastest proposal was five minutes flat,’ she said.

‘I didn’t say –’

‘I’d defy you to beat that, but I know you can’t, and I wouldn’t let you try.’

‘No offence, but apart from you, what was his angle?’

‘He said that he wanted to piss off his family, and there was no better way. He’d been looking for someone just like me.’

‘Why did he want to piss off his family?’

‘Ranjit had control of the money, his family estate, but he had brothers and sisters who were snapping at his crooked deals. They’d taken him to court three times, trying to get control of the money he was misappropriating. He’d been looking for a wife he could weaponise.’

‘To antagonise them?’

‘Exactly. He couldn’t cut them off without a reason, and he knew they couldn’t keep their mouths shut about his foreign wife, especially if his foreign wife couldn’t keep her mouth shut about them.’

‘You cooked this up in an hour? You fix his problems, and he fixes yours. Strangers on an elevator, huh?’

‘Exactly. Each time I provoked one of them to insult me, he cut them off. I was his reverse pension plan.’

‘You’re pretty cute, even when you’re trying not to be,’ I smiled. ‘How did you get them to dislike you so much?’

‘They’re a nasty bunch. They hate easy. And Ranjit told me all their dirty secrets. I took an honesty pill every time I saw them. It made them sick.’

‘So, when you and Ranjit got all the way down to the ground floor, you married him?’

She was suddenly serious.

‘After what I did to you, with Khaderbhai, I thought you’d never speak to me again. And I was right, kind of. We were apart for two years without a word.’

‘I gave you space, because you married Ranjit.’