The Mountain Shadow

He was, in fact, the most dour and stern man I’d ever known. Every member of his family had been killed in the wars and purges that pursued the Palestinian diaspora into Lebanon. He was so callused by hatred and sorrow that the most vicious insult in his Hindi vocabulary was the word Kshama, meaning forgiveness.

‘I still don’t get it, Abdullah.’

‘You have an influence over our brother Khaled,’ he said solemnly.

‘What influence?’

‘Your opinion matters very much to him. It always did. And your opinion of him will change, when you come to know of his life now.’

‘Why don’t we cross that bridge, before we blow it up?’

‘But another part,’ Abdullah said, his hand on my arm, ‘the biggest part, was to protect him from harm.’

‘What do you mean? He was a Council member. That’s for life. No-one can touch him.’

‘Yes, but Khaled is the only man who has the authority to challenge Sanjay for the leadership of the Council. That can make some resent him, or fear him.’

‘Only if he challenged Sanjay.’

‘In fact, I have asked him to do just that.’

Abdullah, the most loyal man I knew, was planning a coup. Men would die. Friends would die.

‘Why are you doing this?’

‘We need Khaled, perhaps more than you know. He has refused, but I will ask him again, and keep on asking him, until he agrees. For now, please keep his presence here a secret, just as I have done.’

It was a long speech for the taciturn Iranian.

‘Abdullah, none of this applies to me any more. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ve been trying to find a way to bring this up with you since we got here.’

‘Is it too much to ask of you?’

‘No, brother,’ I replied, moving half a step away from him. ‘It’s not too much to ask, but it has nothing to do with me any more. I made a decision, and I’ve been waiting for a chance to tell you. It’s such a big thing that I’ve pushed it away, after Concannon and the Scorpions, and then seeing Karla up here, after so long. I guess . . . now is the right time to face it, and get it out there.’

‘What decision? Has anyone talked to you about my plan?’

I let out a heavy sigh. Straightening up, I smiled, and leaned back against a squared-off boulder.

‘No, Abdullah, nobody talked about your plan. I never heard about it, until you told me just now. I made the decision to leave after Lightning Dilip told me that three kids cancelled on the dope that DaSilva and his crew are selling.’

‘But you do not have anything to do with that, and I do not. It is not our operation. We both disagreed with Sanjay, when he started garad and girls in South Bombay. It was not our decision to make.’

‘No, it’s more than that, man,’ I said, looking out at the spirals of storm swirling over the distant city. ‘I can give you ten good reasons why I should leave, and why I have to leave, but they’re not important, because I can’t think of one good reason to stay. Bottom line is, I’m just done, that’s all. I’m out.’

The Iranian warrior frowned, his eyes searching left and right through an invisible battlefield for the Lin he knew, while his mind made war on his heart.

‘Will you permit me to persuade you?’

‘Trying to persuade isn’t just permitted, among good friends,’ I said, ‘it’s required. But please, let me spare you the kindness. I don’t want to hear you plead a lost cause for me. I know how you feel, because I feel it myself. The truth is, my mind’s made up. I’m already gone, Abdullah. I’m long gone.’

‘Sanjay won’t like it.’

‘You’re right about that,’ I laughed. ‘But I don’t have any family ties to the Company. I don’t have any family, so he doesn’t have the mafia card to play against me. And Sanjay knows I’m good with passports. I could always be useful, sometime down the line. He’s a cautious guy. He likes options. I’m guessing he won’t put fire in my way.’

‘That is a dangerous guess,’ Abdullah mused.

‘Yeah. That it is.’

‘If I kill him, your odds will improve.’

‘I don’t know why I even have to say these words, Abdullah, but here goes, Please don’t kill Sanjay, for me. Are we clear on that? It would ruin my appetite for a month, man.’

‘Granted. When I take his life, I will purge your benefit from my mind.’

‘How about not killing Sanjay at all?’ I asked. ‘For any reason. And why are we talking about killing Sanjay? How did you let this happen, Abdullah? No, no, don’t tell me. I’m out. I don’t want to know.’

Abdullah mulled it over for a while, his jaw locked, and his lips twitching with the tide of reflection.

‘What will you do?’

‘I think I’ll freelance,’ I answered him, my eyes following a shadow of thoughts across his wind-shaped face. ‘I thought I might string with Didier for a while. He’s been asking me to throw in with him for years.’

‘Very dangerous,’ he mumbled.

‘More dangerous than this?’ I asked, and when he opened his mouth to speak, I stopped him. ‘Don’t even try, brother.’

‘Have you told anyone else about this?’

‘No.’