The Martian

Su Bin translated Guo Ming’s words as Teddy took the second-best seat in the observation room.

“Yes, thank you,” Teddy said. “The hospitality of your people has been wonderful. The private jet you arranged to bring us here was a nice touch.”

“My people have enjoyed working with your advance team,” Guo Ming said. “The last month has been very interesting. Attaching an American probe to a Chinese booster. I believe this is the first time it’s ever been done.”

“It just goes to show,” Teddy said. “Love of science is universal across all cultures.”

Guo Ming nodded. “My people have especially commented on the work ethic of your man Mitch Henderson. He is very dedicated.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Teddy said.

Su Bin paused before translating, but pressed on.

Guo Ming laughed. “You can say that,” he said. “I cannot.”

“So explain it again,” Beck’s sister Amy said. “Why do you have to do an EVA?”

“I probably don’t,” Beck explained. “I just need to be ready to.”

“Why?”

“In case the probe can’t dock with us. If something goes wrong, it’ll be my job to go out and grab it.”

“Can’t you just move Hermes to dock with it?”

“No way,” Beck said. “Hermes is huge. It’s not made for fine maneuvering control.”

“Why does it have to be you?”

“Cause I’m the EVA specialist.”

“But I thought you were the Doctor.”

“I am,” Beck said. “Everyone has multiple roles. I’m the doctor, the biologist, and the EVA specialist. Commander Lewis is our geologist. Johanssen is the sysop and reactor tech. And so on.”

“How about that good looking guy… Martinez?” Amy asked. “What does he do?”

“He pilots the MDV and MAV.” Beck said. “He’s also married with a kid, you lecherous homewrecker.”

“Ah well. How about Watney? What did he do?”

“He’s our botanist and engineer. And don’t talk about him in the past tense.”

“Engineer? Like Scotty?”

“Kind of,” Beck said. “He fixes stuff.”

“I bet that’s coming in handy now.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“They’re a weird bunch, these Chinese nerds,” Mitch said. “But they make a good booster.”

“Good.” Venkat said. “How’s the linkage between the booster and our probe?”

“It all checks out,” Mitch said. “JPL followed the specs perfectly. It fits like a glove.”

“Any concerns or reservations?” Venkat asked.

“Yeah. I’m concerned about what I ate last night. I think it had an eyeball in it.”

“I’m sure there wasn’t an eyeball.”

“The engineers here made it for me special,” Mitch said.

“There may have been an eyeball,” Venkat said. “They hate you.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re a dick, Mitch,” Venkat said. “A total dick. To everyone.”

“Fair enough. So long as the probe gets to Hermes, they can burn me in fucking effigy for all I care.”

“Wave to Daddy!” Marissa said, waving David’s hand at the camera. “Wave to Daddy!”

“He’s too young to know what’s going on,” Martinez said.

“Just think of the playground cred he’ll have later in life,” she said. “'My dad went to Mars. What’s your dad do?'”

“Yes, I’m pretty awesome,” he agreed.

Marissa continued to wave David’s hand at the camera. David was more interested in his other hand, which was actively engaged in picking his nose.

“So,” Martinez said. “You’re pissed.”

“You can tell?” Marissa asked. “I tried to hide it.”

“We’ve been together since we were 15. I know when you’re pissed.”

“You volunteered to extend the mission 533 days,” she said. “Asshole.”

“Yeah,” Martinez said. “I figured that’d be the reason.”

“Your son will be in kindergarten when you get back. He won’t have any memories of you.”

“I know,” Martinez said.

“I have to wait another 533 days to get laid!”

“So do I,” he said defensively.

“I have to worry about you that whole time,” she added.

“Yeah,” he said. “Sorry.”

She took a deep breath. “We’ll get past it.”

“We’ll get past it,” he agreed.

“Welcome to CNN’s Mark Watney Report. Today we have the Director of Mars Operations Venkat Kapoor. He’s speaking to us live via satellite from China. Dr. Kapoor, thank you for joining us.”

“Happy to do it,” Venkat said.

“So Dr. Kapoor, tell us about the Taiyang Shen. Why go to China to launch a probe? Why not launch it from the US?”

“Hermes isn’t going to orbit Earth,” Venkat said. “It’s just passing by on its way to Mars. And its velocity is huge. We need a booster capable of not only escaping Earth’s gravity, but matching Hermes’s current velocity. Only the Taiyang Shen has enough power to do that.”

“Tell us about the probe itself.”

“It was a rush job,” Venkat said. “JPL only had 30 days to put it together. They had to be as safe and efficient as they could. It’s basically a shell full of food and other supplies. It has a standard satellite thruster package for maneuvering, but that’s it.”

“And that’s enough to fly to Hermes?”