The First Councel

In ninety minutes, the President’s Senior Staff will have their daily seven-thirty meeting in the Roosevelt Room of the White House. There, the Chief of Staff and the President’s closest advisors will discuss a variety of issues that will inevitably become the hot topics of the day-and key issues for the reelection. School uniforms, gun control, whatever’s the issue of the moment and whatever’s going to bring in votes. In my two years in the Counsel’s Office, I’ve never once been invited to the early Senior Staff meeting. But that doesn’t mean I won’t know what they’re talking about.

“Who needs lovin’?” Trey says, answering the phone.

“Hit me with it,” I reply, staring down at the front page of the Washington Post.

He doesn’t waste any time. “A1, the China story. A2, Chicago welfare. A2, Dem race in Tennessee. A4, Hartson versus Bartlett. A5, Hartson-Bartlett. A6, Hartson-Bartlett. A15, World in Brief: Belfast, Tel Aviv, and Seoul. A17, Federal Page. Editorials-look at Watkins and Lisa Brooks. The Brooks editorial on the census is the one to watch. Wesley’s already called her on it.”

Wesley Dodds is the President’s Chief of Staff. By her, Trey means the First Lady. Susan Hartson. Trey’s boss. And one of Wesley’s closest confidants. If the two of them are already talking about it, it’s on today’s agenda and on tonight’s news.

“What about numbers?” I ask.

“Same as yesterday. Hartson’s up by a dozen points, but it’s not a solid dozen. I’m telling you, Michael, I can feel it slipping.”

“I don’t understand-how can we possibly be-”

“Check out the front page of the Times.”

I flip through the pile and pull it out. There, in full color, is a picture of E. Thomas Bartlett-the opposing side’s candidate for President of the United States-sitting in the middle of a semicircle while addressing an enraptured group of senior citizens. They look so happy, you’d think he was FDR himself.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I moan.

“Believe me, I’ve already heard it.” In a world where, every day, the number of people who actually read their newspaper is shrinking, the front photo is the Cliffs Notes to the news. You get that and the day’s yours. “And y’know what the worst part is?” Trey asks. “He hates old people. I heard him say so. I, Tom Bartlett, hate old people. Just like that. He said it.” Trey pauses. “I think he hates babies too. Innocent babies.”

Trey spends the next five minutes selecting the rest of my morning reading. As he tells me each page, I flip to it and draw a big red star next to the headline. In almost every story, I look for some tie to Simon. It never comes-but when we’re done, four full newspapers are ready for reading. It’s our daily ritual and was inspired by a former senior staffer who used to have his assistant read the hot articles to him via cell phone while he drove to work. I don’t have an assistant. And I don’t need a cell phone. All I need is one good friend in the right place.

“So how’d your date go last night?” Trey asks.

“What makes you think I had a date?” I bluff.

“Who do you think you’re dealing with here? I see, I hear, I talk, I move, I shake, I-”

“Pester, gossip, and eavesdrop. I know your tricks.”

“Tricks?” he laughs. “If you prick us, do we not bleed?”

“Don’t cry to me, Argentina. Do you promise to keep it to yourself?”

“For you? What do you think? The only reason I know about it in the first place is because Nora came in here to make sure it was okay.”

“And what’d the First Lady say?”

“Don’t know. That’s when they closed the door. Son of a bitch is thick too. I had my ear against it the entire time. Nothing but mumbling.”

“Did anyone else hear?” I ask nervously as I rip a corner off the edge of the newspaper.

“No, it was late and she was using the conference room, so I was the only one here. Now how’d it go?”

“It was fine… it was great. She’s really great.”

Trey pauses. “What’re you not telling me?”

The man is good. Too good.

“Let me guess,” he adds. “Early in the night, she peacocked around acting like a bad-ass, and you, like the rest of America-including me-found yourself slightly turned on by the thrill of First Family sexual domination. So there you are… she’s huffing and puffing, and you’re hoping she’ll blow your house down-but just as you hit the magical moment, just as you’re about to sign on the skimpily dotted line, you get a whiff of the innocent girl inside-and right there, you back off, determined to save her from her own wild ways.”

I pause a second too long. “I don’t know what you’re-”

“That’s it!” Trey cries. “Always raring to play protector. It’s the same thing with that old pro bono client you had during the campaign-the more he lied to you and led you along, the more you were determined he needed your help. You do it every time you get the bird-with-a-broken-wing face. Forever ready to save the world… except with Nora, swinging to the rescue makes you feel like a rock star… ”

“Who says I want to be a rock star?”