The Fireseed Wars

She had been a willful young maid back then, convinced that no man would ever put her in harness. Count Phrames had been her betrothed, but she had never accepted that union and, fortunately, he had never pressed for a wedding. Kalvan had disarmed her with both his kindness and his modesty. And, in the process, had stolen her heart as well. Sometimes she forgot that it was these traits that initially brought him into her arms, especially when he showed mercy toward their enemies.

It hadn't helped that she had "blamed" Kalvan for their loss to the Grand Host, even though she knew in the depths of her being that he had done everything any mortal man could do to stop Styphon's Grand Host-and some things most couldn't. She had deflected her grief and fury at their loss by creating a wall that kept him away at arm's length-at the very time she needed him the most.

She had never been very good at keeping her feelings at bay, probably the result of being raised by a doting father who gave in to her every whim. And the emotions roiling inside her were earth-shattering-loss, frustration, grief and a raging anger.

Kalvan was the only man in her life who'd brought forth her softer emotions and feelings. Until then she hadn't known they existed. It wasn't fair that he had to pay for her misery, but it was a sign of his love that he did so willingly and was pacing before her tent like some lovesick swain. Why was it so Dralm-damned hard-no, impossible!-for her to go to that tent flap, pull it back and welcome him into her arms? She tried to will her feet to the entrance, but her legs felt as if they were made of lead. Tears of frustration began to squeeze from her eyes.

Suddenly, the flap opened, bringing in daylight and Kalvan's furrowed face. He had an apprehensive look on his countenance that reminded her of a bear approaching a honey hive surrounded by bees. It made her both want to laugh and sing, so she did the next best thing and bawled.

Kalvan rushed into the tent and took her into his arms. "Are you all right, darling?"

She wanted to snap at him, but restrained herself. More than anything else she hated to be seen crying, or even worse-vulnerable. It wasn't his fault she was crying; it was the fact that he was so considerate. "I'm not mad at you, my husband. I'm just mad at the world. At Styphon's House, for starting this war that killed my father. And at myself for not being strong enough to make him leave with us!"

Kalvan sighed. "Ptosphes made the best choice he could under the circumstances. He knew his poor health would make traveling difficult and he didn't want to leave his homeland-"

"Neither did I!" she sputtered. "It's your fault I'm here-"

"Instead of dead, along with your father: Is that what you were going to say?" Kalvan interrupted, his voice rising in anger. "You're right; I take full blame!"

"As you should!" she cried. "Look at us now. We're homeless wanderers with no place to go! We have the largest army ever assembled in the Five Kingdoms at our back. Styphon's House will not rest until we are all dead. How are you going to stop them? We should have stayed in Hostigos and died defending our home!"

"For what, revenge? Dying in Hostigos wouldn't have done us or our subjects any good. I left so that our people might find someplace where we can build a future. What do you think I was doing? This hasn't been fun for me, losing my best friends and your father whom I loved and admired. Now, this Dralm-damned Investigation is grinding those poor bastards who didn't have a chance to leave into dust. Rylla, we had no choice but to run. Otherwise, all would have been lost. Do you think I liked leaving Hostigos with my tail behind my legs! Now, we at least have a chance at a life."

"But why not stay? What you did was cowardly! It makes my skin crawl, husband! You should have stayed and made the Styphoni pay for every rod of Hostigos with their blood! They'll kill us all anyway. I don't want to die in some distant land."

"I'll tell you why!" Kalvan shouted, pointing first to her, then to Demia's cradle. "I left because I was trying to save my family! Why did you leave?"

His shouting, instead of making her angrier, as it usually did, gave her pause for thought. After their loss at the Battle of Ardros, the siege of Tarr-Hostigos was foreordained, just as it was inevitable that the castle would fall, considering the gigantic army arrayed against it. Had she stayed, she would have perished along with her father, Harmakros and so many other brave men. And then what would have happened to my baby? Left in the arms of some wet-nurse, until Kalvan found himself another wife. She knew there'd be plenty of candidates; after all, he was a man.

She took a deep breath. "I left for Demia-I didn't want her to be motherless." Then, she couldn't help but grin. "Or you to have to suffer another wife."