The Erection Set

Old Cameron Barrin’s frown wasn’t as fierce as I had thought it was. As a matter of fact, now that I looked at it closely, it was a worried expression. I winked at the picture and mentally told him not to worry, the seed was still there and even if it was a bastard seed it still had some Cameron genes in it straight from the source of his own balls and not his stupid brother’s.

“Little old ladies,” I said, “you are impoverished.” Pam reacted first, coming out of her chair in a defensive gesture that almost looked real. Her voice was deliberately controlled as though she was taking care of an obstreperous bridge club member. “You are not about to come in here and ...”

“I am in here and like I said, stop the shit, both of you.” I dropped my feet off the desktop and pulled my chair up to the edge so I could prop my arms on it. I didn’t realize it until I saw their faces change, but that was exactly what the old man used to do when he was about to pull the cork.

“Your stock is gone,” I told them. “Now look at me.”

Their attention was undivided. I didn’t have to tell them because they felt it coming, but I wanted to make it all very sure in their minds so once and for all it would end. They didn’t even suspect what the tag scene was going to be.

“I have it all. That and more. I’m about to control the Barrin Industries.”

Veda’s lips were white. Pam kept pulling at her sleeve.

“Alfie boy and Dennie don’t know about it yet, do they?”

Veda’s mouth was a thin, colorless line. Pam just sat there.

“You’ve been playing the game on empty pocketbooks, ladies. It’s a good thing the old man left everything free and clear. Barrin stock is down in the peanut class and the boys are still trying to ride a stallion. All you have is some property, antiquated factories and contracts that can be yanked and you’re all sitting on a lousy watersoaked log floating downstream with the vultures circling overhead.”

“Dogeron ...” Pam said.

I ignored her. “And do you know who the vultures are? You got me and McMillan and the Securities Exchange Commission who are going to move in pretty damn soon and if I don’t get it, or McMillan doesn’t get it, the SEC will chew you to pieces.”

“Dogeron ...”

“What?”

“How ... can you do this?”

“No trouble at all, Pam. Like I said, you looked at my bleeding asshole once too often. I’d like my turn at bat.”

“The family name ...”

“My name’s Kelly, or did you forget?”

“That was so long ago.”

“Look at the calendar and look at the clock. The time is now, kid. The game is over. You all lost it in the locker room.”

“Dog.” Veda was sitting back, studying me with callous eyes. “You didn’t have to come here to insult us.” I grinned again, and she knew what I was grinning at and waiting for, so nodded and added, “Or remind us of the truth.”

“That’s right.”

“Why are you here?”

“I was wondering when you’d ask.”

Both of them wanted to look at each other, hang on to lines of communication and get mutual support like they used to, but neither of them dared to.

I said, “Unless all of want to find what it’s like to be out on the street, you’ll do exactly what I want you to do.”

“What ... will that be?” Pam managed to say.

“As far as Alfred and Dennie are concerned, you still have your stock. Condition one is, you’ll vote it the way I tell you to no matter what they say. You don’t have any choice, so it’s an easy condition. Be nice and I may drop some of those Barrin paper goodies back in your hands. Try any tricks and the shit hits the fan. I haven’t got a damn thing to lose, but your feminine dainties can get put up for auction. Clear?”

Neither of them was stupid. They didn’t have to look at each other for the answer. They knew I had it all in my hands and weren’t eager for any further clarification. The hard work of generations had slipped through the greasy fingers of avarice and they were beginning to find out that you don’t crap in a rose garden because human feces aren’t as adaptable to soil culture as animal dung and the stink is pretty damn distinctive. And even worse when you kicked the topsoil off and let them show.

Ladies. They sat there as if I were the liar, trying to compose themselves with all the Victorian demeanor of royalty looking down their noses at the hun upstart and I knew Veda would be the one to have to shed her wig.

She fell right into the trap. “And condition two?” she asked with that same ridiculous haughtiness.

The crunch. The tag line. She never should have asked it and suddenly she knew it. I lit another cigarette and put my feet back on the desk.

“Stand up,” I said. “Both of you.”

This time they got in that mutual glance, but they both stood up.

“Take off your clothes,” I told them.