The Enchanted Wanderer and Other Stories

“With God’s help, sir, because, I repeat, I have a gift for it. This Mister Rarey, known as the ‘furious tamer,’ and the others who took on this steed, used all their art against his wickedness to keep him bridled, so that he couldn’t swing his head to this side or that. But I invented a completely opposite means to theirs. As soon as this Englishman Rarey renounced the horse, I said: ‘Never mind, it’s all futile, because this steed is nothing if not possessed by a devil. The Englishman can’t fathom that, but I can, and I’ll help you.’ The superiors agreed. Then I say: ‘Take him out the Drogomilovsky Gate!’ They took him out. Right, sir. We led him by the bridle down to a hollow near Fili, where rich people live in their summer houses. I saw the place was spacious and suitable, and went into action. I got up on him, on that cannibal, without a shirt, barefoot, in nothing but balloon trousers and a visored cap, and I had a braided belt around my naked body, brought from the brave prince St. Vsevolod-Gavriil of Novgorod,¹² whom I believed in and greatly respected for his daring; and embroidered on the belt was ‘My honor I yield to none.’ I had no special instruments in my hands, except that in one I had a stout Tartar whip topped with a lead head of no more than two pounds, and in the other a simple glazed pot of liquid batter. Well, sir, I sat him, and there were four men pulling the horse’s bridle in different directions so that he wouldn’t hurl himself at anybody with his teeth. And he, the demon, seeing that we’re all up in arms against him, whinnies, and shrieks, and sweats, and trembles all over with wickedness, wanting to devour me. I see that and tell the stablemen: ‘Quick, tear the bridle off the scoundrel.’ They don’t believe their ears, that I’m giving them such an order, and they gape at me. I say: ‘What are you standing there for! Don’t you hear? What I order you to do, you should do at once!’ And they answer: ‘But, Ivan Severyanych’ (my name in the world was Ivan Severyanych, Mr. Flyagin), ‘how can you tell us to take the bridle off?’ I began to get angry at them, because I could see and feel in my legs that the horse was raging with fury, and I pressed him hard with my knees, and shouted to them: ‘Take it off!’ They were about to say something, but by then I was in a complete frenzy and gnashed my teeth so hard that they pulled the bridle off at once, in an instant, and made a dash for it wherever their feet would take them, while in that same moment I first off did something he wasn’t expecting and smashed the pot on his head; the pot broke and the batter ran down over his eyes and nose. And he got frightened, thinking: ‘What’s that?’ And I quickly snatched the cap from my head and with my left hand began to rub the batter into the horse’s eyes still more, and I gave him a whack on the side with my whip … He surged forward, and I kept rubbing him on the eyes with my cap, to blear his eyesight completely, and gave him a whack on the other side … And I keep laying it on hotter and hotter. I don’t let him catch his breath or open his eyes, and keep smearing the batter over his muzzle with my cap, blinding him, gnashing my teeth to make him tremble, scaring him, and flogging him on both sides with the whip, so he’ll understand this is no joke … He understood it and didn’t stay stubbornly in one place, but raced off with me. He carried me, the dear heart, carried me, and I thrashed and thrashed him, and the more zealously he carried me, the more ardently I plied the whip, and at last we both began to get tired of this work. My shoulder ached and I couldn’t raise my arm, and he, I could see, also stopped looking sideways and stuck his tongue out of his mouth. Well, here I saw he was begging for mercy. I quickly dismounted, wiped his eyes, took him by the forelock, and said: ‘Don’t move, dog meat, bitch’s grub!’ and pulled him down—he fell to his knees before me, and after that he became so meek, you couldn’t ask for anything better: he let people mount him and ride around, only he dropped dead soon after.”

“So he dropped dead?”

“Dropped dead, sir. He was a very proud creature, behaved humbly, but clearly couldn’t subdue his character. But Mr. Rarey, when he heard about it, invited me to work for him.”

“So, then, did you work for him?”

“No, sir.”

“Why not?”

“How can I put it to you! First, because I was a conosoor and was more used to that line—to selecting, and not to breaking, and he only needed furious taming—and second, because on his side, as I suppose, it was just a crafty ploy.”

“Of what sort?”

“He wanted to get my secret.”

“Would you have sold it to him?”

“Yes, I would have.”

“So what was the matter?”

“Must be he just got frightened of me.”

“Will you be so kind as to tell us that story as well?”