The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump

"Many things once supposed impossible have come true," Kawaguchi said. "Take virtuous reality, for example."

"Thank you," I exdaimed. "That reminds me of something else I wanted to ask you: what's the more usual name for Pharwnachrus mooinno?"

Kawaguchi actually laughed; I hadn't been sure he could.

"My apologies, Inspector; I should not have read the name to your secretary straight off the laboratory report. The common name for the bird in question is the quetzal."

"Quetzal?" I slammed into that head on, as if my carpet had run into a building. "Are you sure?' 

"Confirmed by an ornithologist and an Etruscan ornithomancer," Kawaguchi said.

"You're sure," I admitted. "But that's crazy. Michael Manstein - he runs the sorcery lab here - and I went around the Devonshire dump yesterday, and we found no trace of Aztedan sorcery leaking. He even tested with flayed human skin substitute for Huitzhopochtiism."

"I have told you what I know," Kawaguchi said. The possibility remains that the feather was somehow altered in its translation from virtuous reality into our own merely mundane space and time; as I noted at the time, if would not be accepted as evidence in a court of law. Another alternative is that the feather is indeed derived from a quetzal, but was deliberately placed within range of the scriptorium spirit Erasmus' sensorium for the purpose of misleading us."

"Yeah," I said. "Or it might be real - whatever that means in connection with something out of virtuous reality."

"Exactly so," Kawaguchi said. "Ockham's Razor argues for that interpretation, although the others cannot be ignored."

I shave my data with Ockham's Razor, too; it's the most practical tool to use in preparing baseline data for projections and such. But, like any other razor, it will cut you if you're not careful with it "Thanks for the information, Legate Kawaguchi," I said.

"Would you do me one more favor, please. Would you call a spook named Henry Legion at Central Intelligence back in D.StC."- I gave him the number - "and tell him what you've just told me? It's something he needs to know, believe me. Use my name; it'll help you get through to him."

"I shall do as you suggest," Kawaguchi answered slowly.

"The implications, however, are - troubling."

"I know." When I'd first heard Charlie Kelly reluctantly admit the possibility of the Third Sorcerous War, it chilled me for days. Now, as far as I was concerned, it was old news.

Judy bulked ever so much larger in my thoughts. I couldn't worry about the whole world going up in smoke; that's too much for any mere man to take in. But when some damned - I hope - bastard kidnaps the woman you love, you understand that real well. Kawaguchi and I said our goodbyes. He promised again that he would call Henry Legion. Me, I called Loki, and eventually got connected to Matt Arnold. "I just got off the phone with Legate Kawaguchi of the ACCD," I told him.

"He said you had a break-in and some vandalism on the Garuda Bird project."

"That's right," he answered. "One of our people was critically injured, too."

"Kawaguchi didn't say anything about that," I said. "What happened?"

"He was bitten by a snake." Even over the phone, I could hear Arnold's voice turn grim. "Some dever sorcerer found a way to beat a hermetic seal. Did the constable tell you about that?"

"He mentioned that it had been done, but not how," I answered. "You sound like you know." "I do, yes," Arnold said. "There'll be some sleepless nights up in Crystal Valley until they can bring their sorceware up to date."

"You don't need a crystal ball to predict that," I agreed.

"How was it done? Everyone's always claimed hermetic seals are proof against just about anything." I heard the silence that meant he didn't want to tell me. Quickly, I added,

"Remember, I have a professional interest in this. Any magic that can beat such a powerful seal has to have serious consequences for the environment."

"All right," he said grudgingly. "I guess I can see that. But don't go spreading the word to all and sundry, you understand?"

"I'm not a reporter or a newsman for the ethemet," I replied with dignity.

"Okay," he said. "What happened was, the bastards used one of Hermes' own attributes to break the seals he was supposed to oversee. It was a very clever application of the law of similarity, I'll say; I wish whoever came up with it would have put as much energy into something legitimate."

"Go on," I said.

"The snakebite has something to do with it"

He paused again. I realized I was supposed to figure out why. Some other morning, I might have enjoyed playing intellectual games. That particular day, I just didn't have it.

"I'm sorry; I must be dense," I said - my troubles weren't any of his business. "Can you explain it for me?"

A sniff conveyed across the ether by two phone imps carries an impressive weight of scorn. Matt Arnold said, "Think about the kerykeion Hermes carries."

"The what?"