The Case of the Mischievous Doll

“Never mind telling us what you think he thought,” Hamilton Burger interrupted with ponderous dignity, creating the impression that he wanted to be thoroughly fair and impartial. “All you can testify is what you saw and heard in the presence of the defendant.”

“Well, he told her he knew what she’d been up to, that she was an impostor and that she needed a better manager than she had; that he was declaring himself in and that he wanted part of the gravy, and he said something about not being born yesterday, and— Well, that’s when she said—”

“Now, when you say ‘she,’ to whom do you refer?”

“Minerva Minden, the defendant.”

“All right, what did she say?”

“She said, ‘You may not have been born yesterday but you’re not going to live until tomorrow,’ and I heard the sound of a shot and then the sound of a body crashing to the floor.”

“What did you do?”

“I ran out and said, ‘You’ve shot him!’ And she said, ‘Of course I’ve shot him. The blackmailing bastard would have had us all tied up in knots if I hadn’t shot him. But they’ll never pin it on me. It’s in Dorrie Ambler’s apartment and she’ll get the blame for it.’ ”

“And then what?”

“Well, then I bent over him and said the guy wasn’t even dead, and she said, ‘Well, we’ll soon fix that,’ and raised the gun and then lowered it and a smile came over her face. She said, ‘No, better yet, let him recover consciousness long enough to tell his story. He thinks Dorrie Ambler shot him. That will account for Dorrie’s disappearance. Everyone will think she shot this guy and then took it on the lam.’ ”

“The defendant said that?”

“That’s right. And from that time on she was just tickled to death with herself. She was feeling as though she’d really done a job.”

“And what happened?”

“Well, almost immediately after that the chimes rang, and I grabbed the other mattress and rushed it into the kitchen and we arranged a table against the door and the mattresses so that it barricaded the kitchen door. Then we waited a minute to see what would happen. That’s when the defendant got in a panic and wanted to run down the stairs. I slapped her and she started to scream. I had to grab her and put a hand over her mouth.”

“Why?” Hamilton Burger asked.

“Because with someone at the door we couldn’t get to the elevator. Our escape was cut off that way. We’d have to go down the stairs. I didn’t want them to come around to the back door and catch us there, so I wanted to be sure they were all the way in the apartment before we sneaked out the back door. That tension of waiting was too much for the defendant’s nerves.”

“What did you do?”

“I left the back door open.”

“Where was your partner, Barlowe Dalton, at that time?”

“He was down in 805 riding herd on Dorrie Ambler.”

“Go on, what happened?”

“Well, the people at the door turned out to be Perry Mason and this detective, Paul Drake. I waited until they smashed their way into the apartment and had got into the living-room, and then the defendant and I slipped out the back door, went down the stairs and holed up in Apartment 805 with Barlowe Dalton and Dorrie Ambler. Dorrie Ambler had been doped and was unconscious by that time.”

“Go on,” Hamilton Burger said. “What happened after that?”

“Well, we holed up there. Cops were all over the place and we just sat tight and believe me, I was scared stiff. I told the defendant that if the cops started checking and found us there, it was the gas chamber for all of us, that she’d had no business killing that guy!”

“What did she say?”

“She’d got her nerve back by that time. She laughed and called me chicken and brought out some cards and suggested we play poker.”

“And then what happened?”

“Well, we hung around there until quite late and then the defendant said she’d put on Dorrie Ambler’s clothes and go out and see if the coast was clear; that we could watch out the window and if the coast was all clear she’d blink her lights a couple of times on her parked automobile at the curb and that would show us that no cops were around, and we could take Dorrie out.”

“Was Dorrie conscious by that time?”

“She was conscious but groggy. We persuaded her that she wasn’t going to get hurt if she did exactly what we told her.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, the defendant went out. She left us a gun — a thirty-eight.”

“Did you have any talk with her about what happened after that?”

“Yes, she told me about it the next day.”

“What did she say?”

“She said that just as luck would have it, she got in the elevator with some woman and a dog, who was already in the elevator, evidently coming down from one of the upper floors. She said that the woman acted like she knew her but that she turned her back and stood up in front of the elevator door, wondering if the woman was going to speak to her. She said the dog must have known Dorrie Ambler because he got Dorrie Ambler’s smell from her clothes and came and pushed his nose against her skirt and leg and wagged his tail. She said it really gave her a bad time.”