The Blade Itself

Jezal’s frown vanished. It was her, he could tell. She had her hood pulled right down over her face. He knew it was a cold day, but this seemed a touch dramatic. He had never thought she was the type to be put off by a few spots of rain. Still, he was glad to see her. Ridiculously glad. He smiled and hastened forward. Then, when they were a couple of paces apart, she pushed the hood back.

Jezal gasped with horror. There was a great purple bruise across her cheek, around her eye, the corner of her mouth! He stood there frozen for a moment, wishing, stupidly, that he was hurt instead of her. The pain would have been less. He realised he’d clamped one hand over his mouth, eyes bulging like a nervous little girl at a spider in the bath, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Ardee only scowled. “What? Did you never see a bruise before?”

“Well, yes, but… are you alright?”

“Of course I am.” She stepped around him and started walking off down the path. He had to hurry to catch her up. “It’s nothing. I fell is all. I’m a clumsy fool. Always have been. All my life.” She said it with some bitterness, it seemed to him.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“What could you do? Kiss it better?” If they’d been alone he wouldn’t have minded trying, but her frown showed him what she thought of that idea. It was strange: the bruises should have repelled him, but they didn’t. Not at all. Rather, he had an almost overpowering urge to take her in his arms, to stroke her hair, to murmur soothing words. Pathetic. Probably she would slap him if he tried. Probably he would deserve it. She didn’t need his help. Besides, he couldn’t touch her. There were people around, damn them, eyes everywhere. You never knew who might be watching. The thought made him more than a little nervous.

“Ardee… aren’t we taking a risk? I mean, what if your brother were to—”

She snorted. “Forget about him. He won’t do anything. I’ve told him to keep his nose out of my business.” Jezal had to smile. He imagined that must have been quite an amusing scene. “Besides, I hear that you’re all leaving for Angland on the next tide, and I could hardly let you go without saying goodbye, now could I?”

“I wouldn’t have done that!” he said, horrified again. It hurt just hearing her say the word goodbye. “I mean, well, I’d have let them sail without me before I would’ve done that!”

“Huh.”

They walked along in silence for a moment, skirting the lake, both with their eyes on the gravel. It was hardly the bitter-sweet farewell that he had pictured so far. Just bitter. They passed among the trunks of some willow trees, their branches trailing in the water below. It was a secluded spot, screened from prying eyes. Jezal reckoned he was unlikely to find one better for what he had to say. He glanced sideways at her, and took a deep breath.

“Ardee, er, I don’t know how long we’ll be away. I mean, I suppose it could be months…” He chewed at his top lip. It was not coming out at all as he had hoped. He had practised this speech twenty times at least, staring in his mirror until he got just the right expression: serious, confident, slightly wheedling. Now, though, the words came out in a foolish rush. “I hope that, I mean, perhaps, I hope that you’ll wait for me?”

“I daresay I’ll still be here. I’ve nothing else to do. But don’t worry, you’ll have a lot to think about in Angland—war, honour, glory and all that. You’ll soon forget about me.”

“No!” he shouted, catching hold of her arm. “No I won’t!” He pulled his hand away quickly, worried someone might see. At least she was looking at him now, somewhat surprised, maybe, at how fierce his denial had been—though not half as surprised as he was.

Jezal blinked down at her. A pretty girl certainly, but too dark, too tanned, too clever by half, simply dressed with no jewels, and with a great ugly bruise across her face. She would hardly have excited much comment in the officer’s mess. How was it that she seemed to him the most beautiful woman in the world? The Princess Terez was an unwashed dog beside her. The clever words leaked out of his mind and he spoke without thinking, looking her straight in the eye. Maybe this was what honesty felt like.

“Look, Ardee, I know you think I’m an ass and, well, I daresay I am, but I don’t plan always to be one. I don’t know why you even look at me, and I don’t know much about this sort of thing but, well… I think about you all the time. I hardly think about anything else any more.” He took another deep breath. “I think…” He glanced around again, just to check that no one was watching. “I think I love you!”