The Bazaar of Bad Dreams

The second thing had to do with Marlee herself. She was … well, these days people would call her ‘mentally challenged,’ but back then the folks in our neighborhood just said she was soft in the head. You could call that mean, Mr Bradley, but looking back on it, I think it’s just right. Poetic, even. She saw the world that way, all soft and out of focus. Sometimes – often, even – that can be better. Again, just my opinion.

We were both in third grade when I met her, but Marlee was already eleven. We were both promoted to the fourth grade the next year, but in her case it was just so they could keep moving her along through the system. That’s how things worked in places like Talbot back then. And it wasn’t like she was the village idiot. She could read a little, and do some simple addition, but subtraction was beyond her. I tried to explain it every way I knew how, but she was just never going to get it.

We never kissed in a treehouse – never kissed at all – but we always held hands when we walked to school in the morning and back in the afternoon. I imagine we looked damn funny, because I was a shrimp and she was a big girl, at least four inches taller than me and already getting her breasts. It was her who wanted to hold hands, not me, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind that she was soft-headed, either. I would have in time, I suppose, but I was only nine when she died, still at an age when kids accept pretty much everything that’s put before them. I think that’s a blessed way to be. If everyone was soft in the head, do you think we’d still have wars? Balls we would.

If we’d lived another half a mile out, Marlee and I would have taken the bus. But since we were close to the Mary Day – six or eight blocks – we walked. Mama Nonie would hand me my bag lunch, and smooth down my cowlick, and tell me You be a good boy now, Georgie, and send me out the door. Marlee would be waiting outside her door, wearing one of her dresses or jumpers, with her hair done up in pigtails and ribbons and her lunchbox in her hand. I can still see that lunchbox. It had Steve Austin on it, the Six Million Dollar Man. Her mama would be standing in the doorway and she’d say Hey now, Georgie, and I’d say Hey now, Mrs Jacobs, and she’d say You children be good, and Marlee would say We’ll be good, Mama, and then Marlee would take hold of my hand and off we’d go down the sidewalk. We had the first couple of blocks to ourselves, but then the other kids would start streaming in from Rudolph Acres. That was where a lot of army families lived, because it was cheap and Fort Huie was only five miles north on Highway 78.

We must have looked funny – the pipsqueak with his sack lunch holding hands with the beanpole banging her Steve Austin lunchbox against one scabby knee – but I don’t remember anyone making fun or teasing. I suppose they must have from time to time, kids being kids and all, but if so it was the light kind that doesn’t mean much. Mostly once the sidewalk filled up it was boys saying stuff like Hey now, George, you want to play pickup after school or girls saying Hey now, Marlee, ain’t those hairribbons some pretty. I don’t remember anyone treating us bad. Not until the bad little kid.

One day after school Marlee didn’t come out and didn’t come out. This must have been not long after my ninth birthday, because I had my Bolo Bouncer. Mama Nonie gave it to me and it didn’t last long – I hit it too hard and the rubber snapped – but I had it that day, and was going frontsies-backsies with it while I waited for her. Nobody ever told me I had to wait for her, I just did.

Finally she came out, and she was crying. Her face was all red and there was snot coming out of her nose. I asked her what was wrong and she said she couldn’t find her lunchbox. She ate her lunch out of it same as always, she said, and put it back on the shelf in the cloakroom next to Cathy Morse’s pink Barbie lunchbox, just like she always did, but when the going-home bell rang, it was gone. Somebody stoled it, she said.

No, no, somebody just moved it and it’ll be there tomorrow, I said. You stop your fussing and stand still, now. You got a mess.

Mama Nonie always made sure I had a hankie when I left the house, but I wiped my nose on my sleeve like the other boys because a hankie seemed kind of sissy. So it was still clean and still folded when I took it out of my back pocket and wiped the snot off her face with it. She stopped crying and smiled and said it tickled. Then she took my hand and we walked on toward home, just like always, her talking six licks to the dozen. I didn’t mind, because at least she’d forgotten her lunchbox.