Slave to Sensation

She turned to Tamsyn the second they were behind the solid wooden door of the bedroom. “How can you stand this? Being shut away safe while they might not be?”

“I’m the healer. It does no one any good if I die. I fight my battles after they’ve fought theirs.” Intense emotion overlaid her every word.

“At least you get to fight. They should’ve let me help-I have enough Tk and Tp powers to cause some mayhem.”

“There might not be any need for violence. The wolves have a pact with us.” Tamsyn didn’t sound too convinced of her own argument. “I’ve been thinking of something.”

“What?” Sascha paced the room, feeling more like a caged animal than the cool, controlled Psy she was supposed to be. “That it’s idiotic to be locked up here when we’re fully capable of protecting ourselves?”

“If you go down, you make Lucas vulnerable.” Tamsyn’s words pleaded with her to think. “If the SnowDancers pick up that the mating dance is incomplete, they’ll use you as a lever against him.”

“Will they know if we don’t tell them?”

Tamsyn paused. “I’m not sure. They’re wolves, not cats. Their scent is very different from ours-they might assume you already belong to Lucas.”

For some reason, that made Sascha smile. “How can you talk about belonging to someone so easily? I thought predatory changelings were independent by nature.”

“Simple.” Tamsyn walked over and took Sascha’s hand. “Because Lucas belongs to you, too.”

Sascha wanted to break the contact but she could feel the healer’s need for touch, for Pack. Nate was down there facing off with the wolves, and despite the logic of her statements, Tamsyn was terrified. Not quite understanding how she knew what to do, she pulled the other woman into a hug. Tamsyn came without hesitation.

“How can you treat me like one of the pack?” Sascha asked, even as she stroked Tamsyn’s thick fall of hair.

“You smell of Lucas, and I don’t mean on a physical level. It’s difficult to put into words.” She pulled back from the embrace, as if she’d received what she needed to be strong again. “Our bodies and hearts recognize yours. We know you’re one of us.”

“But I’m not mated to Lucas yet,” Sascha argued, feeling the noose slip about her neck. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, destroy these people who’d come to mean everything to her. If Lucas went down, DarkRiver would fragment. The pack might physically survive with the deadly sentinels at the helm, but they’d all be broken. She would not do that to them.

“You’re so close as to make little to no difference.” Tamsyn pushed her hair off her face and held up a hand when Sascha began to speak. “Don’t ask me what the final steps are. I can’t tell you. It’s different for each couple…” She sighed. “But the male half of the pair usually has a better idea of what’s needed-I guess it’s nature’s way of ensuring the more independent females can’t avoid bonding.”

“He’ll never tell me.” She sat down heavily on the floor, her head hanging between bent knees. “I’m coming apart at the seams and I refuse to take Lucas with me.”

Tamsyn knelt in front of her. “That’s not your choice to make. Mating isn’t marriage. You can’t divorce each other and you can’t walk away once you’ve found one another.”

Sascha met the other woman’s compassionate gaze. “I’ll destroy him.” It was a painful whisper.

“Maybe. Or you might save him.” Tamsyn smiled. “Without you, Lucas might’ve become too much his beast, too much the predator, cruel and without mercy.”

“Never.”

“He was christened in blood, Sascha. Don’t ever forget that.” Tamsyn sat down cross-legged in front of her. “Until he met you, do you know what he was like? Do you know where he was going? Day by day I watched him get more protective, more unbending and strict, especially with the kids, and there was nothing I could do.”

Sascha was caught by the passion in the healer’s voice.

“He’s undoubtedly our alpha, someone we’d follow into hell and back if he asked it of us. But it takes more than an iron fist to rule, and he was starting to lose those other parts.”

“He’s so good with Kit,” Sascha said, recalling all the times she’d seen him with the juvenile.

“Five months ago, not long after we lost Kylie, he banned Kit from solo runs.”

“Why?”

“He didn’t want the boy hurt.” Tamsyn shook her head. “Kit has the scent of a future alpha-to have him always have a babysitter could’ve destroyed his development and turned him from us. Even more than the other juveniles, Kit needs the freedom to let his beast roam.”

“You persuaded Lucas to change his mind?”

“No, Sascha. You did.” She put a hand on Sascha’s knee. “Kit was ready to rebel when Lucas quietly took him out for a run soon after he met you. When he came back, Kit wasn’t with him.”

“He let Kit go his own way?” Sascha knew it must’ve been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Protecting his own was a compulsion with him. It was also something he couldn’t indulge in-it would smother the very people he was trying to shelter from harm.

Tamsyn nodded. “You allow him to think, to see past his emotions.”