Skyfall

He felt his way to the edge of the bed and sat on it. When he did Nadya shifted away from him so he would not touch her; only Coretta could see this. She looked at the blind faces and stiff bodies and wanted to weep.

“Listen,” she said. “I have something for you, for both of you.” She reached into her pocket and took out the two bundles and handed them over.

“What is it?” Patrick asked, feeling the paper edges.

“The first-day covers. You people forgot all about them. That comes from having military minds. You're too used to having people take care of you. But Coretta can't get out of the habit of looking after number one. And her friends. When we suited up, the first time when there was a chance of getting out of this in one chunk, I took a hundred of them and put them in my suit pocket. That should be enough. Scarcity is value in the stamp business, or so I am told. Twenty-five for each of us.” Her smile vanished then, but they couldn't see that, so she tried to keep her feelings out of her voice.

“Well Gregor won't be needing his now. I've divided the rest. Thirty-three for each of you, thirty-four for me, the extra one being my commission. I'm sure these things will be very valuable. Saved from the burning spaceship at the risk of life and limb, the ends of the envelopes still brown from the flame….”

“What flame?” Patrick asked.

“The one where I used a match to singe them just a little bit. I'll bet that adds a hundred bucks to the price of each one!”

Nadya looked puzzled, but Patrick burst out laughing.

“Coretta, I'd make you my business manager if you weren't my doctor already. I doubt if there'll be much piloting in my future so maybe I better think about going into business. How about that, Nadya, you want to go into the stamp business with us?”

“I know nothing about that. In Russia.. ”

“Don't go back to Russia. Stay here with me.”

He moved his hand over the covers until he found hers, capturing it before she could move it away. He held it in both of his and spoke, hoarsely. This was what he had wanted to say since he came into the room, had been looking for some way to say. He was not experienced at this sort of thing.

“I'll leave you alone now,” Coretta said, standing.

“No, please don't leave,” Patrick said. “There's no secret here, we've all been too close for that. Nadya, don't go back. I mean stay here with me. Or let me go back with you. About all I can offer is a military pension — and Coretta's stamps.”

“Patrick. .” She looked up towards him, blind eyes straining to see.

“Look, I love you. I've loved you a long time. Now you can throw me out. But I just wanted to get it on record.”

Seconds ticked by before Nadya spoke. “That is a very kind offer. You may leave now.”

“Well what the hell!” He was shocked, unbelieving. “Is that all you can say?”

“Just what do you expect me to say? Oh, thank you sir for your kind offer. When a man speaks as you do any woman should be swept off her feet happy to rush and say yes and look forward to a lifetime of darning socks and raising children. You are asking a lot.”

“Not of a woman. Not much at all. But maybe too much for a flying officer and test pilot….”

“Shut up!” Coretta shouted. “Before you say too much and go too far and can't get back. Listen to the doctor. Patrick, just because you love her — and neither of us doubts it — that doesn't mean that Nadya stops being what she is and forgets everything and is ready for the rose-covered cottage.”

“I know that — ”

“Maybe you know it — but you don't feel it. She is still the person she always was and you mustn't ever forget that. And you, Nadya, it's no crime to think like a woman, feel like a woman. Sensuality can be very, very good. Do you understand?”

Nadya nodded. Her voice was very quiet now, strained. “I really do not find it easy to talk about these things. It is perhaps my training. Romantic love has always been something in the cinema, not in the life of a test pilot or a cosmonaut. Perhaps I learned to play a role — but it is a role that works and whenever I step out of it I find that I can be hurt---”

“Are you talking about that time — you and I, in Texas?”

“Yes… I think lam.”

“Try to understand me. I suppose I was acting like an oversexed male chauvinist, arid I'm sorry. But I did mean it too, what I felt towards you, and I mean it now. Will you marry me, Nadya — “

“No.”

“Will you at least think about it — “

“Yes, of course, and more than that. When you are like this and trying to understand how I feel, then I want very much to be with you. Then I want to stay with you. Stay together, get married perhaps, perhaps not. But at least find out. Be patient with me, Patrick. It's not easy.”

“I will. If you'll be patient with me.” This time when he sought her hand in blindness he found it immediately. It was a beginning.

Coretta took one last look at them, lifted her hand in a little wave that they could not see, then slipped quietly out the door and closed it behind her.

“The Major, is he…” the MP said.