Senior Year Box Set

“I need a drink,” I decided.

If I had to deal with this, it would be better with some alcohol in me. I stepped over to the bar and saw they were fully stocked. I debated about getting a scotch and sipping it. Then I spotted what I wanted.

“Absolut Citron on the rocks.”

“Straight?” Destiny asked.

I should have known she would follow me.

The bartender handed me the drink. I swirled the glass until the vodka was cold and then took a sip.

“Ooh, Fun David is going to make an appearance,” Destiny said with a honeyed smile full of stings.

“You’re falling behind,” I pointed out.

“I’ll try what he’s having,” she decided.

She tried it and smiled.

“This isn’t half bad,” she admitted as she finished her first one.

“Careful, they’re strong,” I warned her.

“I get it. It’s straight vodka. I can handle my liquor.”

I seriously doubted that but kept my thoughts to myself.

“Want me to get more people here?” I asked.

“The hell with ’em. If they don’t want to come to my party, they can rot for all I care.”

“Just because you’ve got a flat tire doesn’t mean you go slash the other three,” I said.

“What does that even mean? Is that one of the country sayings you have here?” she asked.

“Quit being a brat, and I’ll fill this place up,” I suggested.

She didn’t say anything, so I sent Tim and Wolf a text.

D:/ Destiny’s party has food, music, hard liquor, and brewskis

T:/ Ur at her party?!?

D:/ Call some women

T:/ This sausage party is done

D:/ Did anyone buy Wolf a pretzel?

T:/ ROFL

W:/ FU sideways

“Okay, done,” I announced.

I suddenly found her arms around my neck, and her mouth claimed mine. Destiny kissed me furiously. Heat and sparks were flying like a storm, bursting with lightning, followed shortly by thunder.

For a moment, I forgot who I was kissing and just let it happen. Then I remembered it was Destiny, Brook’s frenemy.

“Slow down. What’s this all about?” I asked as I pulled back.

She rolled her eyes.

“Are you really a ‘stupid boy,’ David?”

I held my hands up to fend her off.

“Apparently, I am. Why don’t you spell it out for me?”

“You really don’t get it?”

“Pretend I’m a totally clueless guy, and you need to use small words to explain it,” I suggested.

“You’re a big star. What girl wouldn’t want you?” she asked.

“Well, what about Damion?”

“What about him? He’s going to some JC to play ball,” she said, scrunching her nose like she smelled a dead rat.

I laughed.

“What?” Destiny asked.

“He’ll be in the NFL someday. The kid has mad skills,” I told her.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” I assured her.

“I need to call him,” she said, leaving me alone.

I needed another drink. This was weird, even by my standards.

◊◊◊

The guys showed up, and I was happy to hear that Roc, Johan, and Milo had driven them all here in their pickup trucks. The downside of being a Mennonite was being the perennial designated driver since Mennonites don’t drink.

I made the mistake of introducing the guys to Absolut Citron shots. I say ‘mistake’ because they polished off the bottle. The bartender suggested I switch to Grey Goose vodka with some lemon added. After my first few shots, I couldn’t really tell the difference.

Wolf had contacted Gina, and she got the word out to all the senior girls. They began to show up.

“Where are all the guys?” Gina asked, accosting me as I was trying to decide if I should eat something, go dance, or get serious about drinking.

“What?”

“It’s just the baseball team and like fifty girls,” she complained.

“Destiny invited them all at the assembly,” I said to defend myself.

“Plus, I like the odds,” Wolf added.

She stormed off.

“That’s it, I’m done,” he decided.

“Finally!” “Thank God!” Tim and I said at the same time.

The rest of the evening became a blur. I learned a valuable lesson. Well, two, actually: vodka was evil, and I’d become a total lightweight. I did have a really good time because I remember dancing with a lot of girls, doing shots, and making out with someone.

My last coherent memory was the body I’d been in control of my whole life suddenly acted on its own. It ignored the messages my brain tried to send, like a petulant Coby when he defied the rules. I leaned against the house and slid to the ground.

◊◊◊

“Dude, wake up,” I heard Wolf say as someone nudged me with their toe.

As I sat up, my entire body rebelled.

“Jesus Harold Christ,” I muttered through sock-coated teeth.

I groped the wall as I struggled to stand. It felt like my brain floated in an ocean of vodka.

Everyone seemed to be gone, and the backyard was a disaster area. I was glad it wasn’t my job to clean up.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Almost three.”

Then I had a horrible thought.

“No one messed with my face, did they? Do I still have eyebrows?” I asked.

“Tim and I made sure no one messed with your face,” Wolf assured me.

I leaned back against the wall and moaned.

“We need to get home,” Wolf said.

“I’ll get us an Uber,” I said as I pulled out my phone.

“We have Uber?”