Seed on the Wind

Once, as they finished, she felt Albert’s arm suddenly tighten around her, then his other arm, tighter still; pressed thus close against him, she felt his lips on hers. Too astonished to move, she suffered the kiss to the end of its brief but somewhat violent career; all at once, feeling herself released, she stepped back. Albert stood an instant, then, obviously needing something to do, went over and turned off the radio. A loud shrill laugh came from Morris, seated on the floor; Roy and Panther stood staring at their mother incredulously; Lewis Kane looked uncomfortable and cleared his throat three times in succession. Lora was furious that she felt herself coloring with embarrassment, and could think of nothing to say. Albert stood at the radio, grinning around at them.

“Good lord,” he said at last, “I must have had a stroke or something.”

“You’re stupid,” Lora said.

“Plunged straight into insanity by your resistible loveliness,” he declared. He turned to Roy, “Listen, young man, beware of girls with smooth placid faces, high cheekbones and a wad of red hair—”

“Lora’s hair isn’t red,” said Panther.

“The worst possible red,” Albert insisted.

“Aw stuff,” said Roy. “She’s not a girl anyway, are you, Lora?”

“Don’t mind him, he’s just being silly,” Lora smiled.

Lewis Kane said nothing, then or afterwards.

The episode meant nothing to Lora except as it concerned Lewis. She did not want him to have a false opinion of her relations with Albert Scher. It was a good thing, she remarked to herself after they had gone, that Albert hadn’t repeated his performance six years ago and carried her to the divan and tried to tear her clothes off. He might; unquestionably he had a crazy streak.

The following Sunday Albert did not come. It was a brilliant sunny October day, with the sharp exhilarating air so clear that they could see the hills far away across the Hudson, and even make out the autumn colors of the forest on the ridge the other side of the broad valley. In the middle of the afternoon Julian was sent upstairs for his routine nap, and Lora instructed the other children to stay in the yard while she and Lewis went for a walk. “Remember, don’t go away,” she said, “we’ll be back soon, and Lewis likes to have you here.”

They went at a brisk pace across the meadows, up the rise to the edge of the woods, to where an old abandoned road once had entered. There they sat on a log, panting a little from the climb, and attacked a question that remained unsettled from a previous discussion: whether Julian should be sent to kindergarten. Lewis was inclined to favor it; Lora saw no advantage in it, since Julian played enough with other children anyway; she thought he would be better off at home for at least another year. Lewis didn’t insist; he didn’t claim any rights in the matter, he said. No doubt Lora’s position was sound.

“All right, we’ll wait a year,” Lora said. She looked aside at him, and went on, “There’s something else I wanted to speak about. I thought you might think there was something queer about the way Albert acted last week.”

Lewis turned his head towards her and their eyes met. Neither held any suggestion of doubt or challenge; it was a simple meeting of glances, a greeting of understanding. Lewis smiled a little.

“You can depend on Albert to be queer,” he said.

Lora nodded. “It was foolish to mention it, I suppose.”

“Not at all. I’m glad you did.” He pulled a cockle-burr from the knee of his trousers and flipped his fingers back and forth trying to get rid of it. “I have sometimes wondered,” he went on, “what you and Albert are to each other. There’s Panther, of course, but she is obviously yours, not his. That’s true of all the children, even Julian, I’ve accepted that.” Another cockle-burr. “Of course it’s none of my business, but things often come into our minds without waiting for an invitation, and I’ve often wondered about Albert.”

“Well,” Lora said, “he’s just Albert. To me as to you.”

“So I gathered. But still... after all...”

She looked at him in surprise. Lewis searching for words!

“After all, you are a young attractive healthy woman, unencumbered by vows. And while you obviously hold men in contempt, there is evidence that you are willing to tolerate their performance of a necessary function.”

Lora laughed. “Albert would like that. But where do you get the idea that I hold men in contempt?”