Rolf in the Woods

Young Van Cortlandt was chief talker at the dinner, but a pompous military man was prominent in the company. Once or twice Rolf was addressed by the governor or Lady Van Cortlandt, and had to speak to the whole table; his cheeks were crimson, but he knew what he wanted to say and stopped when it was said, so suffered no real embarrassment.

After what seemed an interminable feast of countless dishes and hours’ duration, an extraordinary change set in. Led by the hostess, all stood up, the chairs were lifted out of their way, and the ladies trooped into another room; the doors were closed, and the men sat down again at the end next the governor.

Van stayed by Rolf and explained: “This is another social custom that began with a different meaning. One hundred years ago, every man got drunk at every formal dinner, and carried on in a way that the ladies did not care to see, so to save their own feelings and give the men a free rein, the ladies withdrew. Nowadays, men are not supposed to indulge in any such orgy, but the custom continues, because it gives the men a chance to smoke, and the ladies a chance to discuss matters that do not interest the men. So again you see it is backed by common sense.”

This proved the best part of the dinner to Rolf. There was a peculiar sense of over-politeness, of insincerity, almost, while the ladies were present; the most of the talking had been done by young Van Cortlandt and certain young ladies, assisted by some very gay young men and the general. Their chatter was funny, but nothing more. Now a different air was on the group; different subjects were discussed, and by different men, in a totally different manner.

“We’ve stood just about all we can stand,” said the governor, alluding to an incident newly told, of a British frigate boarding an American merchant vessel by force and carrying off half her crew, under presence that they were British seamen in disguise. “That’s been going on for three years now. It’s either piracy or war, and, in either case, it’s our duty to fight.”

“Jersey’s dead against war,” said a legislator from down the river.

“Jersey always was dead against everything that was for the national good, sir,” said a red-faced, puffy, military man, with a husky voice, a rolling eye, and a way of ending every sentence in “sir.”

“So is Connecticut,” said another; “they say, ’Look at all our defenceless coasts and harbour towns.’”

“They’re not risking as much as New York,” answered the governor, “with her harbours all the way up the Hudson and her back door open to invasion from Canada.”

“Fortunately, sir, Pennyslvania, Maryland, and the West have not forgotten the glories of the past. All I ask — is a chance to show what we can do, sir. I long for the smell of powder once more, sir.”

“I understand that President Madison has sent several protests, and, in spite of Connecticut and New Jersey, will send an ultimatum within three months. He believes that Britain has all she can manage, with Napoleon and his allies battering at her doors, and will not risk a war.”

“It’s my opinion,” said Sylvanne; “that these English men is too pig-headed an’ ornery to care a whoop in hell whether we get mad or not. They’ve a notion Paul Jones is dead, but I reckon we’ve got plenty of the breed only waitin’ a chance. Mor’n twenty-five of our merchantmen wrecked each year through being stripped of their crews by a ’friendly power.’ ’Pears to me we couldn’t be worse off going to war, an’ might be a dum sight better.”

“Your home an’ holdings are three hundred safe miles from the seacoast,” objected the man from Manhattan.

“Yes, and right next Canada,” was the reply.

“The continued insults to our flag, sir, and the personal indignities offered to our people are even worse than the actual loss in ships and goods. It makes my blood fairly boil,” and the worthy general looked the part as his purple jowl quivered over his white cravat.

“Gosh all hemlock! the one pricks, but t’other festers, it’s tarnal sure you steal a man’s dinner and tell him he’s one o’ nature’s noblemen, he’s more apt to love you than if you give him five dollars to keep out o’ your sight,” said Sylvanne, with slow emphasis.

“There’s something to be said on the other side,” said the timid one. “You surely allow that the British government is trying to do right, and after all we must admit that that Jilson affair resected very little credit on our own administration.”

“A man ken make one awful big mistake an’ still be all right, but he can’t go on making a little mistake every day right along an’ be fit company for a clean crowd,” retorted the new senator.