Rogue

“This feels a little weird,” she admitted in a whisper, and then he kissed her, and it didn't feel strange anymore. His hands slipped under her nightgown, and little by little they took their clothes off under the covers and tossed them to the floor.

It had been so long since she had slept with anyone that she had been afraid it would be scary and awkward, and instead he was a gentle, considerate lover, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. They held each other tight afterward, and he told her how beautiful she was and said that he loved her, and she was shocked to hear the words. She wondered if he felt obliged to say them to her because they had made love. He said he had been falling in love with her since they met. And she told him as gently as she could that she needed more time before knowing that. There was so much she liked about him, and so much that she hoped to feel as she grew to know him better. She felt safe with him, which was important to her. She trusted him, and as they whispered in the dark, he made love to her again. And afterward, happy, comfortable, sated, and totally at peace, she fell asleep in his arms.

Chapter 12

The next morning Maxine and Charles bundled up and went for a long walk in the snow. He made breakfast for her, pancakes and Vermont maple syrup, with crisp strips of bacon. She looked at him tenderly, and he kissed her across the table. This was what he had been dreaming of since they met. Time like this was hard to come by in her life. Her children had already called her twice before breakfast. Daphne had declared full-scale war on her father's new love. And as he listened to Maxine's side of the conversation, Charles frowned. And she was shocked by what he said when she hung up.

“I know this may sound crazy to you, Maxine, but don't you think they're too old to be at home?”

“You were thinking maybe they should join the marines, or apply early to college?” After all, Jack and Daphne were only twelve and thirteen.

“I was in boarding school when I was their age. It was the best experience I ever had. I loved it, and it prepared me for life.” Just hearing him say it, Maxine was horrified.

“Never,” she said firmly. “I would never do that to my kids. They've already lost Blake, more or less. I'm not going to abandon them too. And why? So I can have a better social life? Who cares about that? These are the years when kids need their parents, need to learn their values, bounce problems off them, and learn how to deal with issues like sex and drugs. I don't want some boarding-school teacher teaching my kids about those things. I want them to learn that from me.” She was shocked.

“But what about you? Are you willing to defer having a life until they leave for college? That's what it means if you have them around all the time.”

“This is what I signed on for when I had them,” she said gently. “That's what parents are for. I see the results in my office every day when parents aren't there for their kids. Even if they are, things can go wrong. If you check out, and dump them in boarding school at these ages, I think you're asking for trouble.”

“I turned out okay,” he said defensively.

“Yes, but you opted not to have kids,” she said bluntly. “That says something too. Maybe you missed something in your childhood after all. Look at the British, they send their children away at six or eight, and some of them are screwed up because of it and talk about it later as adults. You can't send a child away at that age, and not have it take a toll. People have trouble attaching after that. And I wouldn't trust teenage kids away at school. I want to be around to see what they're up to, and to share my values with them.”

“It sounds like a huge sacrifice to me,” he said sternly.

“Not at all,” she said, wondering if she really knew him. There was definitely a piece missing in Charles, when it came to kids, and she thought it was too bad. Maybe it was the piece that made her hesitate about him even now. She wanted to love him, but she needed to know that he could love her kids too, and surely not by lobbying to send them away to boarding school. The very thought of it made her shudder. He could see that, and immediately backed off. He didn't want to upset her, although he thought it would have been a great idea, if she were willing. She wasn't. That was clear.