Rogue

Maxine went in to see Hilary before she saw her parents. She was on a respirator, with a trauma ICU unit still working on her. She was naked on the table, covered by a thin drape. The machine was breathing for her, she was immobile, and her face was gray. Maxine stood looking at her for a long moment, spoke to the team that had been with her since she got there, and had a word with the attending. Her heart was holding up, although the monitor had reported arrhythmia several times. There was no sign of life in the fifteen-year-old girl, who looked more like a child lying there. Her hair was dyed black, and she had tattoos up and down both arms. Hilary had marched to her own drummer, despite her parents' efforts to convince her otherwise.

Maxine nodded at Thelma, and together they went to see the parents in the waiting room. They had been with Hilary initially until the team asked them to leave. It was too upsetting to her parents to watch what was happening, and the residents and nurses needed room to move.

Angela Anderson was crying when Maxine walked in to see them, and Phil had his arms around her, and had obviously been crying too. They had been through this before, but it didn't get easier, only harder, and they were acutely aware that Hilary might have gone too far this time.

“How is she?” they both asked in unison, as Maxine sat down with them and Thelma left the room.

“About the same as when she came in. I just saw her. She's putting up a good fight. She always does.” Maxine smiled sadly at them, it made her heart ache to see the agony in their eyes, and she was sad too. Hilary was such a nice girl. So troubled, but so sweet. “There were some poisons in the drugs she took,” Maxine explained. “That happens on the streets. Mostly, I think our problem is that it all had time to work through her system before she was found. And there's only so much a heart can take. She took a very heavy dose of some very powerful drugs.” It wasn't news to them, but she had to give them some kind of warning that this might not have a happy ending. There was nothing else she could do. The trauma team was doing everything they could.

Thelma brought them all coffee a few minutes later, and then Maxine went back to see Hilary again. Thelma followed her out, and Maxine told her to go home. There was no point in both of them being up all night. Maxine was going to stay. She thanked Thelma before she left, and stuck around to see how Hilary's heart was doing. Its beating was becoming more irregular, and the resident said her blood pressure was coming down, none of it good signs.

For the next four hours, Maxine went back and forth between the Andersons and their daughter, and at eight-thirty, Maxine decided to let them come in to the unit to see her. She was well aware by then that it might be the last time they'd see their daughter alive. Hilary's mother sobbed openly as she touched her, and bent to kiss her, and her father stayed to be with his wife, but he could hardly bear to look at their child. The respirator was still breathing for her, but it was barely keeping her alive.

And as soon as they settled in the waiting room again, the attending physician came in and motioned to Maxine, who followed him back out into the hall. “It's not looking good.”

“Yeah,” Maxine said, “I know.” She followed him back to Hilary's area of the ICU again, and almost as soon as they walked in, the monitor set off an alarm. Hilary's heart had stopped. Her parents wanted everything possible done, and the cardiac team did all they could to jolt her heart back to life. Electric shock was administered as Maxine watched, looking grim. They massaged her heart, and administered the paddles several times, to no avail. They worked on Hilary's lifeless form for half an hour, until the resident finally signaled to the rest of the team. It was over. Hilary was gone. They all stood looking at each other for a long, painful moment, and then the resident turned to Maxine, as they turned off the respirator and took it out of Hilary's mouth.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly, and left the room. There was nothing left for him to do.

“Me too,” she said, and then went to find the Andersons. They knew the moment she walked in, and Hilary's mother began to scream. Maxine sat with them for a long time, and held her in her arms as she cried. She hugged Phil too. They asked to see Hilary again, and Maxine led them into the room. They had put her in a room by herself, for them, before taking her to the morgue. Maxine left them alone with her for nearly an hour. And then finally, heartbroken and devastated, they went home.

Maxine signed the death certificate, and all the appropriate forms. It was after ten o'clock in the morning when she finally left, and went downstairs. She was coming out of the elevator when a nurse she knew called her name. Maxine turned and her eyes were grim.