Rite of Passage

We took off shortly after Daddy came aboard. He and I and Mr. Tubman were sitting in the center of the downstairs lounge in easy chairs. The three crewmen were playing cards, and George Fuhonin was upstairs piloting.

I felt quietly pleased with myself. Viewed from one angle, my time on Grainau had been nothing but one long mistake. I wasn’t bothering to view it that way, even though I did realize dimly that I had made a few errors in tact and simple good sense. It wasn’t important to me, and even now I would say that it was comparatively unimportant in real terms.

I think I was deservedly elated. I was filled to the brim with the discovery that I could meet Mudeaters on their own home grounds, and if not come off best, at least draw.

Like the girl who first found out how to make fire, like the girl who invented the principle of the lever, like the girl who first had the courage to eat moldy goat cheese and found Roquefort, I had discovered something absolutely new in the world. Self-confidence, perhaps.

My errors had been made. My self-confidence was still in the process of becoming. If Daddy had pointed out the errors, they would not have been mended, and the self-confidence might have been stillborn. But Daddy just smoked and smiled.

I was curious enough about the things that Ralph Gennaro had said that I repeated his comments to Daddy and asked about them.

“Don’t worry about it,” Daddy said.

“There’s not much sense in even listening to a Mudeater,” Mr. Tubman said. “They have no perspective. They live in such limited little worlds that they can’t see what’s going on.”

“I wish you wouldn’t use that word, Henry,” Daddy said. “It’s just as thoughtless as that silly word that Mia picked up. What did that boy say?”

“’Grabbie?’”

“Mm, yes. That one. There’s no reason to trade insults. We have our way of life and they have theirs. I wouldn’t live as they do, but disrespect seems pointless. I’m sure there are good people among them.”

“It’s their lack of perspective,” Mr. Tubman said. “I’ll bet Gennaro is complaining right now that you cheated him.”

“He might be,” Daddy said.

“You didn’t cheat him, did you, Daddy? He seemed happy that you were willing to make a deaL”

“When did you hear this?”

“When you rode up.”

“Lack of perspective,” Mr. Tubman said. “He doesn’t bargain well and he was afraid that your dad had been offended by your adventure. He gave in more easily than he had to. He was happy at the time, but he’s probably regretting it now.”

Daddy nodded and filled his pipe again. “I don’t see any reason to mind his interests for him. As far as I’m concerned, the less we do for the colonists, the sooner they’ll learn to watch out for themselves. And all the better for them when they do. That’s where Mr. Mbele and I disagree. He believes in exceptions to rules, in treating the colonists better than we treat ourselves. I’m not ready to accept that.”

Mr. Tubman said, “I’ll have to admit that I’ve learned things about bargaining from watching you, Miles.”

“I hope so. You will be a poor trader if you underestimate the people you deal with. And you, Mia, will be making a mistake if you underestimate a man like Mr. Mbele. His principles are excellent — sometimes, however, he only sees one route to a goal.”

After a few minutes, Mr. Tubman went over to make a fourth in the card game. I decided to go upstairs.

Daddy looked up as I left. He took the pipe from his mouth. It had gone out without his noticing. “Going to hear another story?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe.” And I went up and spent the rest of the trip with George.

So, I went home to Geo Quad. In my own time, I thought about things and discovered at least some of my errors, and the discovery did not hurt me, as it might have.

Sometimes there is art of a subtle sort in not touching, in simply sitting and smoking and talking of other people. When I got back to the Ship, I was still feeling good. And it lasted until I went to sleep.

I sat in a large comfortable chair — uncomfortably — and waited for Jimmy Dentremont. I wasn’t twitching; I merely had a definite feeling of unease. This was the living room of the Geo Quad dorm, and very similar to the one that I had once lived in. The similarity didn’t bother me much, but I was a stranger here and a little hesitant because of it. If it hasn’t become clear previously, perhaps I should say that I always prefer to feel in command of a situation.