Riddley Walker

Erny comes closer and Punch gives him a smart whack with his stick. Whack! Erny jumps a way he says, “Ow! Youve give me a whack.”

Punch says, “Thats right thats what I rime with.”

Erny says, “O I see your names Jack then.”

Punch says, “No stupid my names Punch.”

Erny says, “Wel whack dont rime with Punch.”

Punch says, “Thats becaws you jumpt a way too soon. Come close agen.”

Erny comes close and qwick Punch gives him a woal lot of whacks. Punch says, “Now Ive give you a bunch hows that for riming.”

Erny says, “Wel I think Ive had a nuff of riming Mr Punch. I wunner wud you please be good a nuff and tel me what that putcha putcha means?”

Punch says, “You mean that putcha putcha putcha?”

Erny says, “Thats it.”

Punch says, “You mean that putcha putcha way?”

Erny says, “Thats it thats the same and very. Whats it mean?”

Punch says, “Putcha self closer and Iwl tel you.”

Erny puts his self closer. Punch whacks him on the ear with his stick. Whack! Erny says, “Ow! Thats 1 mor whack youve give me. What wer that 1 for?”

Punch says, “Thats what putcha way means. If you putcha close Iwl whack you but if you putcha way I cant.”

Erny says, “Wel Mr Punch Im thanking you for that lessing and that lerning only that aint what I putcha my self here for.”

Punch says, “Why did you putcha self here then? Why did you putcha putcha putcha?”

Erny says, “I wer hoaping for a look at Pooty. Jus a littl glimpo you know.”

Punch says, “No I dont know. You dont nead no look nor you dont nead no glimpo you can see her by her pongo. All you nead to do is breave deap and youwl get the woal picter of Pooty right a nuff. Youwl see the 3s and the Ds of her so sharp youwl think you can grab a hanful.”

Erny says, “Stil and all Iwd like to how dyou do her.”

Punch says, “You what?”

Erny says, “Iwd like to how dyou do her.”

Punch says, “O youre a clynt then?”

Erny says, “Which Iwd like to be a frend.”

Punch says, “O wunt we all tho wunt we jus. Pooty she dont have no frends tho. She dont give no 1 sumfing for nuffing.”

Pooty comes up then with the pig babby she gives it to Punch she says, “Whats this then if it aint some thing for nuffing?”

Punch says, “Nuffing! You calling my part nuffing?”

Pooty says, “You said it I dint.”

Punch terns to the crowd he says, “Now you see why Ive got the hump.”

Pooty says, “This aint no time for humping Im frying now.”

Punch takes a littl tase of Pooty he says, “You aint done yet.”

Pooty says, “I know that wel a nuff thats why Im going down to get on with it now wil you mynd the babby?”

Punch says, “Not a bit. Mmmmm. Yum yum yum.”

Pooty says, “Whyd you say ‘Yum yum yum’?”

Punch says, “I wer jus clearing my froat.”

Pooty says, “For what?”

Punch says, “So I can sing to the babby.”

Pooty says, “What kynd of song you going to sing?”

Punch says, “Yummy py.”

Pooty says, “Whatd you say?”

Punch says, “Lulling by. Iwl sing the babby lulling bys.”

Pooty terns to the crowd she says, “Wud you please keap a eye on him wylst Im frying my swossages. Give us a shout wil you if he dont mynd that babby right.”

Theres plenny of voyces in the crowd then speaking up theyre saying, “Dont you worry Pooty wewl keap a eye on him.” Easyers voyce says, “Wewl see your babby right Pooty that littl crookit barset he bes not try nothing here.”

Punch he dont anser nothing to that. When Pooty goes down hes zanting a littl with the babby its a littl jerky kynd of dants. Hes singing:

“There wer a littl babby
A piglet fat and juicy
Who ever got ther hans on him
They cudnt tern him lucey
Ah yummy yummy yummy
Ah slubber slubber sloo
Ah tummy tummy tummy
Ah piggy piggy poo”

Which when they hear that some of the crowd begin to yel, “Pooty! Pooty! Come up qwick!”