Reading Chekhov

The letter to Alexander (January 2, 1889) is less a set piece, and more disturbingly immediate and intimate (it followed a visit by Chekhov to St. Petersburg, where Alexander lived): I was seriously angry at you… I was repelled by your shocking, completely unprecedented treatment of Natalia Alexandrovna [Natalia Golden, Alexander's second common-law wife] and the cook. Forgive me please, but treating women like that, no matter who they are, is unworthy of a decent, loving human being. What heavenly or earthly power has given you the right to make them your slaves? Constant profanity of the most vile variety, a raised voice, reproaches, sudden whims at breakfast and dinner, eternal complaints about a life of forced and loathsome labor-isn't all that an expression of blatant despotism? No matter how insignificant or guilty a woman may be, no matter how close she is to you, you have no right to sit around without pants in her presence, be drunk in her presence, utter words even factory workers don't use when they see women nearby… A man who is well bred and really loving will not permit himself to be seen without his pants by the maid or yell, "Katka, let me have the pisspot!" at the top of his lungs…

Children are sacred and pure. Even thieves and crocodiles place them among the ranks of the angels… You cannot with impunity use filthy language in their presence, insult your servants, or snarl at Natalia Alexandrovna: "Will you get the hell away from me! I'm not holding you here!" You must not make them the plaything of your moods, tenderly kissing them one minute and frenziedly stamping at them the next. It's better not to love at all than to love with a despotic love… You shouldn't take the names of your children in vain, yet you have the habit of calling every kopeck you give or want to give to someone "money taken from the children."… You really have to lack respect for your children or their sanctity to be able to say-when you are well fed, well dressed and tipsy every day-that all your salary goes for the children. Stop it.

Let me ask you to recall that it was despotism and lying that ruined your mother's youth. Despotism and lying so mutilated our childhood that it's sickening and frightening to think about it. Remember the horror and disgust we felt in those times when Father threw a tantrum at dinner over too much salt in the soup and called Mother a fool. There is no way Father can forgive himself all that now… Natalia Alexandrovna, the cook, and the children are weak and defenseless. They have no rights over you, while you have the right to throw them out the door at any moment and have a good laugh at their weakness if you so desire. Don't let them feel that right of yours.