Prom Nights from Hell

Jezebel sighed, and there was something about the way her mists rolled back in on themselves that made her look… embarrassed. For the first time, Sheba felt a hint of doubt about her assumptions. But Jezebel's motives had to be malicious. That's the only kind of motives demons had.

With a rueful expression on her face, Jezebel asked quietly, "Is it so impossible to believe that I might want you to get promoted?"

"Yes."

Jezebel sighed again. And again, the way her mists writhed in chagrin made Sheba uncertain.

"Why?" Sheba demanded. "What do you get out of this?"

"I know it's all wrong-or rather right-for me to be giving you advice you can work with. Not very evil of me."

Sheba nodded cautiously.

"It's in our nature to trip up everyone, demons, humans-even angels if we get the chance. We're evil. Naturally we're going to backstab, whether it hurts our side or not. We wouldn't be demons if we didn't let envy, greed, lust, and wrath rule us." Jezebel chuckled. "I remember-how many years ago was it? — Lilith almost got you booted back a few grades, didn't she?"

Red fire smoldered in Sheba's eyes at the memory. "Almost."

"You handled it better than most. You're one of the very worst working misery right now, you know."

Flattery again? Sheba stiffened.

Jezebel twisted her mists up with a finger, and then circled that finger so that the mists drew a smoky orb against the night sky.

"There's a bigger picture, though, Sheba. Demons like Lilith can't see past the evil at hand. But there's a whole world out there, full of humans making millions of decisions every minute of the day and night. We can only be there to sway a fraction of those decisions. And sometimes, well, from where I'm standing, it feels like the angels are getting ahead…"

"But, Jezebel!" Sheba gasped, shock breaking through her suspicion. "We're winning. Just watch the news-it's obvious we're winning."

"I know, I know. But even with all the wars and destruction… it's odd, Sheba. There's still an awful lot of happiness out there. For every mugging I turn into a homicide, across town some angel has a bystander jumping another mugger to save the day. Or convincing the mugger to give up his wicked ways! Ugh. We're losing ground."

"But the angels are weak, Jezebel. Everyone knows that. They're so full of love that they can't concentrate. Half the time the stupid birdbrains fall in love with a human and trade their wings for a human body. Though why even an idiot angel would want this!" Sheba scowled down the length of her human form. So limiting. "I've never really understood the point of having to wear these around for half a millennium. I guess it's probably just to torture us, isn't it? The dark lords must enjoy watching us squirm."

"It's more than that. It's to make you really hate them. The humans, I mean."

Sheba stared at her. "Why would I need a reason? Hate is what I do."

"It happens, you know," Jezebel said slowly. "The angels aren't the only ones to give it all up. There are demons who've traded their horns for a human."

"No!" Sheba's eyes widened, then narrowed in disbelief. "You're exaggerating. Now and then a demon shacks up with a human, but it's just to torment them. Just a bit of malicious fun."

Jezebel winced, swishing her mists into figure eights, but she didn't argue back. That's what made Sheba realize she was serious.

Sheba swallowed hard. "Wow."

She couldn't imagine that. Taking all this delicious evil and throwing it away. Giving up a hard-earned pair of horns-horns that Sheba would destroy anything to have right now-and getting stuck with a weak, fully mortal body in return.

Sheba eyed Jezebel's glistening onyx horns and frowned. "I don't understand how anyone could do that."

"Remember what you said about the angels? Getting distracted by love?" Jezebel asked. "Well, hate can be a distraction, too. Look at Lilith and her spiteful good deeds. Maybe it starts out with sticking it to the lesser demons, but who knows where it will lead? Virtue corrupts."

"I can't believe a few tricks against another demon could make you as stupid as a birdbrain," Sheba mumbled under her breath.

"Sheba, don't underestimate the angels," Jezebel chastised. "You don't mess with them-you hear? Even a strong middle demon like me knows better than to lock horns with the feather-backs. They steer clear of us, and we steer clear of them. Let the Demon Lords deal with the angels."

"I know that, Jezebel. I wasn't spawned this decade."

"Sorry. I'm being helpful again." She shuddered. "I just get so frustrated sometimes! Goodness and light on every side!"

Sheba shook her head. "I don't see that. Misery is everywhere."

"Happiness is, too, sis. It's all over the place," Jezebel said sadly.

It was silent for a long moment as Jezebel's words lingered in the air. The sticky breeze washed across Sheba's skin. Miami was no hell, but it was comfortable at least.

"Not at my prom!" Sheba retorted with sudden fierceness.