Polynya

“Last thing.” FeeTwix equips a spray can called No Odor and gives himself a thorough spritzing. He tosses the can to Ryuk and tells him to do the same. “Before you ask, this eliminates our scent. Used it all the fucking time in Dead City. The damn zombie dogs there retain their sense of smell; this stuff works like a charm.”

“Um.” Ryuk points the spray nozzle at his body and gives himself a good coating. The spray, not surprisingly, doesn’t smell like anything.

“Between the legs too,” Hiccup comments, not taking his eyes off his text. “Nobody likes swamp ass.”

“Last thing, I swear!” Night vision goggles attached to an elaborate geared head mount form over FeeTwix’s eyes.

“You a jeweler now?” asks Hiccup.

“A jeweler? No, no, my troubled goblin amigo. These NVDs are a replica of the ones used by the United States Marines!”

“NVDs?” Zaena asks.

“Night vision device, or better, an optoelectronic device, which produces a monochrome green image in even the darkest of dark situations. Cool, huh?”

“So you are like an elf then?” She nods to Enway. “Elves can see in the dark.”

“That’s one way to look at it, babe. I’m like an elf, which reminds me … ” He pops the goggles up, equips his little mirror, and his eyes flash black. “And we’re back, people! Hello America and all the ships at sea! Are you clean enough? Are you moist enough?”

Hiccup shoots FeeTwix a suspicious glance.

“Well, if you aren’t, and hell, even if you are, Unilever & Gamble’s moisturizing aloe berry crisp hand sanitizer with added vitamin E kills 99.99% of germs in less than ten seconds and adds moisture to your skin in a fresh and revitalizing way. You’re gonna love it! Mention #FeeTwixRox at checkout to get a bonus pack of Clean Me Up and Wipe Me Down sanitary wipes! Hiccup the goblin is hooked on these wipes! Just ask him!” He swivels to Hiccup and the goblin gives FeeTwix the finger.

“Just imagine how clean that filthy goblin finger would be if he used some moisturizing aloe berry crisp hand sanitizer and followed it up with a Clean Me Up and Wipe Me Down sanitary wipe! Don’t miss out on this special offer today. Love you guys.” He blows kisses at the mirror in his hand. “Now let’s go catch us a big, bad wolf!”

(0)__(0)

Ryuk gets into position on one of the lower terraces. The night is cool, the moon barely visible. The grains are high, and out of respect for the farmers, he tries his best not to trample any of their handiwork.

FeeTwix’s auto-drone buzzes over a flock of sheep to the south.

After a deep breath to settle his nerves, Ryuk’s Extreme Focus skill kicks in. With his skill’s tunnel vision effect, he can see the Swede creeping around, his bolonet rifle at the ready and his GPS gun at his hip.

Remembering Hajime’s oblique quote, the most important thing is the thing most easily forgotten – breathe, Ryuk hones in on the movement of air in his body until he can feel the breath move from his lungs to his blood, and from there, to his appendages.

His focus pulses with each breath in. Minute details become increasingly apparent, from a ladybug crawling on a stem of wheat five meters away to the plinking sound of a droplet of water from a leaky pipe two fields over.

There.

His ears twitch slightly at the sound of an animal moving through the wheat on the northern terrace.

He readies his marble gun.

Ryuk: The wolf is approaching from the northern terrace. I’m out of range.

FeeTwix: Copy that. I’ll get him with the GPS bullet first, just in case I can’t get him with the net.

Ryuk focuses on FeeTwix for a moment.

The Swede has taken a position behind a barrel, using the barrel to steady his arms as he waits for the wolf to approach. The night vision goggles are on his head, and he’s as still as a frozen cactus as the canine slowly makes his way to a pen filled with sheep.

The sheep bleat and a few shuffle around, but other than that, they seem completely oblivious to the predator.

Ryuk: Damn, the wolf is big.

Hiccup: That’s what she said.

Ryuk: I thought you were reading.

Hiccup: Goblins excel at multitasking.

FeeTwix: How big?

Zaena: Do you need us yet?

Ryuk: The wolf is the size of a donkey, at least that size.

FeeTwix: Roger.

Hiccup: Who the fick is Roger?

Ryuk ignores the ensuing conversation as something red catches his eyes. He looks up at the approaching red outline. A dragon?

Ryuk: A dragon is approaching.

Zaena: We’re coming to you!

FeeTwix: Everyone stay cool just for a moment longer.

Shit, Ryuk thinks as two other forms appear on the dragon. He can’t make out the details of the riders yet, but there are definitely two.

~~POP!~~

The mahoosive wolf yelps and scurries away as FeeTwix pegs him with his GPS bullet.

Just in time, too.

The dragon is now directly over the Swede’s head, and before the man with the near limitless inventory list can equip another weapon, two armed warriors drop from the dragon.

Ryuk: Zaena, Hiccup, get here now! NOW!