Phantom: Chainfire Trilogy Part 2

He turned back to her. "What does it mean that I couldn't call my gift through anger?"

Shota sighed heavily. "Richard, you must understand something. I did not give you a vision. I did nothing more than help you to release hidden thoughts that were your own. I did not give you a dream of my making, nor did I plant any ideas in your mind. I merely made you aware of your own intellection. I can't tell you anything about what you saw because I don't know what you saw."

"Then why would you — "

"I only know that you are the one who must stop the Order. I helped you bring your own suppressed thoughts to the surface in order to help you to better understand."

"Understand what?"

"What you must understand. I no more know what that is than I know what you saw within your own mind that so upset you. You might say that I am merely the messenger. I have not read the message."

"But you made me see things that — "

"No, I did not. I opened the curtain for you, Richard. I did not make the rain you saw out of that window. You are trying to blame me for the rain, instead of appreciating the fact that I did nothing but open the curtain so that you could see it with your own eyes."

Richard glanced over at Nicci. She said nothing. He looked up the steps at his grandfather standing with his hands loosely clasped, silently watching. Zedd had always taught him to deal with the reality of the way the world was, taught him not to rail at what some believed was the invisible hand of fate controlling and conjuring events. Was he doing that to Shota? Was he trying to blame her for revealing things that he hadn't seen, or hadn't been willing to see?

"I'm sorry, Shota," he said in a quieter voice. "You're right. You did indeed show me the rain. I don't have a clue as to what to do about it, but I saw it. I shouldn't blame you for what others are doing. I'm sorry."

Shota smiled in a small way. "That is part of the reason why you are the one, Richard — the only one who can stop the madness. You are willing to see the truth. That is why I brought Jebra with such terrible accounts of what is happening at the hands of the Order. You need to know the truth of it."

Richard nodded, only feeling worse, feeling even more despairing over not having any idea of how to do what she thought he could.

He met Shota's unflinching gaze. "You've made a great effort to bring Jebra here. You've come a very long way. Your future, your very life, depends on this no less than does my life or the lives of all free people, all those with the gift. If the Order wins we all die, including you.

"Isn't there anything you can tell me that will help me to do something to stop this madness? I could use any help you can give me. Isn't there anything you can tell me?"

She stared at him a moment before speaking, stared as if her mind were in other places. "Whenever I bring you information," she said at last, "it angers you — as if I were the one creating what is, rather than merely reporting it."

"We're all facing slavery, torture, and death, and you're suddenly miffed about getting your feelings hurt?"

In spite of herself, Shota smiled at his characterization. "You think that I simply pluck revelations out of the air, as if I were picking a pear."

The smile faded as her gaze focused off into the distance. "You could not begin to understand the personal cost of bringing forth such shrouded knowledge. I do not wish to undertake such a formidable task if that dearly gained knowledge is going to do nothing but feed a grudge."

Richard shoved his hands in his back pockets. "All right, I get your point. If you're going to make such an effort, you expect me to consider it earnestly. We all have everything at stake, Shota. I'd value whatever you can tell me."

While Richard did honestly believe that Shota was telling him what she saw of the flow of events in time, he didn't believe that the meaning of such tellings was necessarily straightforward or what Shota believed they meant. Still, she had always offered him information that in some way had been central to the issues at hand — Chainfire being only the latest. While her revelation of the word Chainfire had been without an explanation that would help him, that clue alone had sustained his effort to find the answer to what had happened to Kahlan. Without that single word he would never have recognized that particular book as the one holding the key to discovering the truth.

Shota took a deep breath, finally letting it out in resignation. She leaned toward him the slightest bit, as if to emphasize how serious she was.

"It is for your ears alone."

CHAPTER 19