Phantom: Chainfire Trilogy Part 2

She was certain that her face had gone crimson. She made no further attempt to fight his order. She knew that she had to pick her battles, and this was not one she could win. She wondered if she would ever win another. She began to doubt that it was really possible. There would be no salvation for her. This was her life, her future, all there would ever be for her. She had nothing to look forward to, no reason to aspire to anything good.

As unceremoniously as possible, she dropped her clothes in a pile as she removed them, not bothering to stall by folding them. When she was done and had removed every stitch, she stood hunched in the dead-silent room, not looking up at Jagang because she didn't want to face his gloating, leering triumph. She tried her best to keep her trembling from being evident.

"Stand up straighter," Jagang said.

Kahlan did as she was told. She suddenly felt weary. Not weary of physical effort, but weary of all effort. What was she struggling for? What life could she ever have? She stood no chance of ever being free, of ever experiencing love, of ever feeling safe. What chance had she of ever achieving any happiness in life?

None.

At that moment she wanted nothing so much as to curl up into a ball and cry — or just stop breathing and be done with it. Everything seemed hopeless. Her efforts were futile against such strength, such numbers, such abilities.

She ceased to be embarrassed. She didn't care if he stared at her. She was sure that it wouldn't be long until he was finished with his dinner and then did a lot more than merely stare. She had no choice in that, either.

She had no choice in any of it. She had only an imitation of life. Without the ability to control even this much of her life, control if she would have to submit to any indignation, she didn't really have life. Life was something that others had. She breathed, she saw, she felt, she heard, she tasted, she even thought, but she did not live in a meaningful sense.

"There is a rock formation straight out from the opening to my tent," Jagang said as he leaned back in his chair. "Do you remember seeing it when we arrived?"

Kahlan looked up at him, feeling dead inside. She went through the task of doing as instructed, like a good slave. She thought about his question; she remembered seeing it. It was a long way off, but she remembered the way the dark river of men poured around the rock outcropping.

"Yes, I remember it," she said in a dull voice.

"Good." He took a swig and set the mug down. "I want you to walk to that rock. Don't go straight there, but go around in a circular route." He lifted an eyebrow. "No need to go all red, darlin. The men can't see you — remember?"

Kahlan stared at him. "Then why do you want me to do this?"

He shrugged. "Well, you killed my two guards. I need some more."

"There are plenty of your men right outside."

He smiled. "Yes, but they can't see you. I want men who can see you."

Kahlan began to grasp his meaning. She suddenly began feeling very naked again.

"The way I figure it, there is probably no better way to ferret out men who can see you than to have you walk by them showing them all you have to offer." His gaze roamed the length of her before returning to her eyes. "Believe me, if they can see you, there is no chance they will fail to make themselves known. I have no doubt whatsoever that if they can see you, like that innkeeper or that girl could see you, and they see you like this, then they will drop whatever they're doing and come out to pay you a kindly greeting."

He laughed heartily at his own joke. No one else in the tent so much as cracked a smile, but he didn't seem to care. Finally his fit of laughter died out.

"With all the men we have, I would bet that we are bound to net us a few who can see you. Among this many men, there are bound to be more 'anomalies, as Ulicia put it." He cocked his head toward her. "Then, we will have guards that you can't sneak up on, or sneak past, the way you did the others.

"You see, darlin, you made a tactical mistake. You should have kept that trick for a better chance to escape. Now you wasted it."

She hadn't wasted it. She had done what she had done to save Jillian's life. Kahlan knew that she had no chance at freedom for herself, but at least she had given that gift to Jillian. There was no benefit to saying so, though, so she didn't dispute what he thought had gained him an advantage in the game he was playing with her.

Kahlan could think of nothing to say that would talk him out of such a plan. Her only hope now was to remain invisible. But she didn't feel at all invisible. She suddenly felt as if, when she walked out of the emperor's tent, every man in camp would be able to see her. She could already feel millions of lewd men leering at her.