“I didn’t mean to scare you,” the policeman said. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
She drew in a shallow breath. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
The cop studied her for a moment, then touched the rim of his cap with a single finger. “Okay, good night, then.”
“Good night.”
She watched as the policeman moved on down the Promenade, waiting for him to turn around, head back toward her, the way Sheriff Caulfield had on that distant afternoon, down a dusty country road, moving slowly and without fear, superior to his prey. She felt his hand on her shoulder, drawing her from the car, confused, frightened, a teenage girl in a car with a broken taillight, eased out into the crystalline air.
But this time the policeman didn’t turn back toward her, and once he was out of view, she returned her gaze to the Manhattan skyline, avoiding the empty space where the Towers had once stood. They’d been like her, she thought, just standing there in the open, weaponless and vulnerable.
The memory of a sweet, liquored breath swept into her face, and suddenly she heard the wind in the corn, saw herself glancing back to where both taillights remained intact.
The memory of that moment filled her with a burning ire, the way she’d promised herself that she would never let it happen again. Next time,
TWO
Blame It on My Youth
ABE
“So what are you gonna do, Abe?” Jake lifted a glass, examined it for spots.
Abe looked up from yet another pile of bills. “Do?”
“You know, about Lucille. You gonna replace her?”
“Yeah,” Abe said.
That Lucille was dead still seemed unreal to him. He’d seen her body hauled away and yet he expected her to walk through the door at the usual hour, a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth.
“ ‘Blame It on My Youth,’ ” he said. “Lucille didn’t sing that until she was forty-six, remember?”
Jake swiped the counter with a white cloth. “Made it seem like only old broads could sing that song.”
“Yeah,” Abe said. Then, because he could find nothing else to do, he walked to the piano, placed his fingers on the old familiar keys. “What do you want to hear?” he called.
“That peppy one she liked. I mean, when she wasn’t in a mood.”
Abe knew the one Jake meant, and so began a bright, up-tempo version of “Your Feet’s Too Big.”
When he finished, he returned to the bar. Susanne had come in by then, another book by one of what she called “the great minds” under her arm. She was a philosophy major at NYU and peppered her drink deliveries with pithy little aphorisms from her latest readings. Abe had heard scores of them during the few months Susanne had worked for him, but the only one that had stuck came from some Greek whose name he couldn’t remember. Courage in a man, this Greek had said, was simply this, to endure silently whatever heaven sends.
He thought of Mavis, then of Lucille, and finally of that fucking cat, Pookie, the one he’d found dead on the kitchen floor three weeks after Mavis’ abrupt departure. No, he thought, that Greek got it wrong. Courage was to endure silently whatever heaven takes away.
“So, what about Lucille?” Jake asked. “You gonna put an ad in
Abe shook his head. “Nah,” he said.
If he put an ad in
“How about an open mike?” he said. “We did that when Lucille left for a year. Just put a sign in the window that says Open Mike and see who drops in.”
Jake shrugged. “You’ll get that woman who makes all her clothes out of carpet remnants, remember her?”
Abe laughed. “Or the one who only sang songs with animals in the titles.”
“But changed the titles. ‘Sweet Doggie Brown,’ for Christ’s sake.”
“ ‘My Funny Butterfly.’ ”
“Jesus, what a nutbag.”
“But not as bad as the one dressed in red rubber,” Abe said. “Changed the titles too, remember. ‘I’ll Be Peeing You.’ ”
They were both laughing now, and in their laughter Abe caught a glimpse of what life had been before Mavis fled. “Yeah,” he said, the laughter trailing off now. “Open mike is the way to go.”
MORTIMER
Mortimer rolled the coffee cup in his hand and tried to keep the pain in his belly from showing in his eyes. Only three days had passed since he’d taken the deal, and here Caruso was making changes.