Path Of A Warrior

Shadowstar hesitated. I can tell Pebble Heart the truth, she reminded herself. “But it matters so much who I choose as deputy,” she told him. “It has to be a cat I can trust.”

Pebble Heart cocked his head, looking puzzled. “Is that any different from when you chose Sun Shadow?” he asked. “I don’t remember it being such a struggle.”

Shadowstar looked down at her paws, wondering if she could tell the medicine cat the truth.

“This is my last life,” she finally confessed, keeping her mew as quiet as she could. “My next deputy will have to be ready to lead the Clan soon, and be able to keep ShadowClan together.”

Pebble Heart looked deeply troubled. “Are you sure?” he asked after a moment. “There was the infection, and the fight with the badger … the cough, the time you drowned … that fall …”

“Er … I may have died twice without telling you,” Shadowstar confessed. “I was hit by a Twoleg monster and I fought a rogue.”

At the stormy look on Pebble Heart’s face, she added quickly, “I didn’t tell any cat. Both times, I died alone and began my new life alone. There was nothing anyone could have done. It seemed safer for the Clan if no cat knew how close I was to my last life.”

“Oh, Shadowstar.” Pebble Heart’s eyes shone with distress. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have been alone.”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t alone. StarClan was with me.” She brought the conversation back to what seemed most important. “Sun Shadow had been helping me lead the Clan for a long time. He was ready to lead, if he had to. How can I know if one of the others will be able to guide ShadowClan? How can I know if I can even trust … ?” She trailed off, thinking of those amber eyes that had watched her die.

“What do you mean?” Pebble Heart asked, staring at her intently.

Shadowstar told him about the eyes she’d seen watching her and Sun Shadow’s deaths from the woods. “I thought I might have imagined them, but the more I think about it, the more sure I am that there was a cat there. I don’t think it was a ShadowClan cat, although I can’t help wondering … but if it wasn’t, that’s almost as bad. What cat could watch us die without wanting to help? It makes me feel like I have an enemy … or ShadowClan does. And Gray Wing said that if ShadowClan falls, all the Clans could fall… .”

“I see.” Pebble Heart nodded. “You’re wondering how you can leave an untested leader in charge, if the Clans are in such danger.”

“Exactly.” Shadowstar felt oddly lighter. She was still worried and frightened, but she was glad that she’d told Pebble Heart what was bothering her.

“For what it’s worth, I have faith in you,” Pebble Heart mewed. “If the Clan is in danger, I think you will find that danger before your final death.” He pressed his cheek to hers. “You’ve led this Clan so well, I know you will leave us safe.”

Maybe, Shadowstar thought. I hope he’s right.

But as she thanked Pebble Heart and left his den, weaving her way past her warriors, she couldn’t help thinking of Sun Shadow’s death. She had failed him. I should have saved him. I should have made him run to safety. Then he would still be here, ready to lead the Clan when I die.

She would need to do a better job protecting ShadowClan.

Slipping into her nest below the oak tree, she shut her eyes.

I have to make sure my Clan is strong enough to survive my final death.

Shadowstar led her Clan into Fourtrees, the full moon shining above them, bathing the clearing in cold silver. Skystar and Thunderstar were already seated on the Great Rock. Skystar looked tense, his thick light gray fur bristling and his large paws shifting restlessly. Shadowstar strode toward them as her warriors greeted friends and kin from other Clans. Pebble Heart joined Cloud Spots and Acorn Fur, doubtless to talk medicine-cat business.

Leaping lightly to the top of the Great Rock, Shadowstar nodded to Skystar and Thunderstar. Skystar twitched his whiskers irritably at her. “You’re still planning to back me up, right?” he asked urgently.

“I will.” But first I have to hear what’s going on.

Thunderstar, calmer, looked down at where his and Skystar’s deputies sat near the base of the rock. “You haven’t picked a new deputy yet?”

“No.” Shadowstar tried to make it clear from her tone that she didn’t want to discuss it, but the big ginger tom only blinked at her earnestly.

“It was hard for me, too, when Lightning Tail was killed,” he confided. “But I’m glad that I chose Owl Eyes as my deputy. It’s good for the Clan to have another cat they can rely on.”

“I will name a new deputy when the time is right,” she told him coolly. Her Clan’s business was no other cat’s concern.