No Contest

“And you intend to negotiate this contract, Remo Williams?”

“I am Reigning Master.”

Chiun nodded and said no more about it, for the time being.

Chapter 38

Olaf Dasheway felt his world crumble down-around him. He was on the phone with the man who held the keys to his future—and Romeo Dodd was resigning.

“You can’t do this,” he stuttered.

“Read the terms of our agreement. Remember my waiver?”

“No.” Dasheway tossed papers off his desk until he unearthed a copy of the Romeo Dodd contract. Oh, yes. The waiver. “Uh, let’s see. ‘If the previous employer of the undersigned Talent submits an offer of reemployment and Talent accepts this other employment prior to the broadcast of the aforementioned program The Ladies’ Man, Talent will be absolved of all obligations and will forfeit all agreed-upon compensation.’ I didn’t sign this! Production companies and their broadcast licensees agree to surrender all existing physical copies and destroy all electronic copies of the aforementioned program The Ladies’ Man that have heretofore been produced. No way! TMs is so nonstandard.”

“You signed it”

“But, Romeo, you said you had a government job. Nobody goes back to a government job.”

“I did. I’m officially a federal employee again.”

“You’d rather be a civil servant than bagging hot babes and being the envy of all men everywhere?”

“The Hollywood lifestyle was too wild for me.”

“You weren’t here two days—give the place a chance.”

“Sorry, Olaf.”

“You can’t! I won’t abide by these terms!”

“Now, don’t say anything stupid,” Romeo Dodd warned Dasheway. “The federals don’t want me on TV, and they’ll make sure I’m not on TV.”

Olaf Dasheway was rummaging noisily in his desk. “Olaf, what are you doing?”

“Looking for scissors. A box cutter. Anything that will slice through wrist skin.”

Romeo Dodd tsked. “Hold that suicide, Olaf. I have an offer to make. I know of a way to work this so The Ladies’ Man will go on the air, as scheduled.”

“In God’s name, tell me how!” Dasheway blurted.

“This is what you do. You take my face out and put somebody else’s face in. You can do that with computers, right?”

“Yes!”

“You can do that before tonight’s broadcast?”

“Yes, if we start right away!” Dasheway cried joyfully.

“You get somebody to be the face of The Ladies’ Man tonight, and maybe even let him continue the series. Nobody would have to know there was ever a switch—not even the networks.”

“Yes. Perfect. You’ll agree to that, nice and legal? Sign a confidentiality agreement?”

“Sure, I will.”

Olaf Dasheway had never been on such an emotional roller coaster. Romeo bowing out was bad news, but the first episode was in the can. It would be a tremendous hit, no matter whose face was on the screen, and the networks had already committed to a full season.

“The question is,” Romeo said, “Olaf, can you come up with a replacement right away?”

Olaf shot to his feet and ran out of his office, phone to his ear. A rumpled, dejected-looking man was sprawled in the waiting room. “He’s already here.”

“Great news.”

As soon as Romeo was off the phone, Dasheway hit the speed dial. “I want Philstock. Philstock? Drop whatever you’re doing and meet me at production in ten minutes. Bring a computer geek—the best you’ve got but he’s gotta be able to keep his mouth shut. I’ll explain when I get there. Yes, it’s an emergency!”

Olaf barged out of his office. The sad, disheveled wreck in the waiting area glared at Him, like a beaten dog expecting to be whacked with a newspaper again.

Instead, Dasheway snatched him by the lapels and dragged him to his feet, pulling him close and snarling quietly, “Do you want to be the ladies’ man?”

Tears of joy trickled down the sad creature’s rosy cheeks. “Yes, sir, I do. More than anything in the whole world.”

“Then pull yourself together, Willy! We have work to do.”

“Yes, sir!”

The pair of Secret Service agents would have chatted up the receptionist for an hour if she hadn’t said, “Isn’t that the guy you’re supposed to be watching?” They saw the TV producer leaving with somebody who resembled their man—it was him, but he had changed. He looked taller and more confident. He looked like a man who had found a new reason to live.

Chapter 39

Everything was coming up roses for Remo Williams. All his pieces were falling into place. Just one more loose end to take care of, and he sure hoped it worked out the way he planned.

Of course it would work out. MacBisCo had to be the person or persons behind all the sabotaged games and international tensions. He had thought about this long and hard and now he was absolutely positive.

Chiun was eyeing him carefully as they proceeded along the long walk from the visitor’s parking lot to the MacBisCo corporate headquarters, which butted up against the manufacturing plant. The plaque on the wall designated the factory as a historic building.

“This box of bricks is older than you, Chiun.”

“Yes.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”