Nemesis Games

“No,” Holden said, nodding to Alex. “But just the idea that we had some of that goo in the ship for so long and didn’t even know it creeps me out. Doesn’t it creep you out?”

Alex held out his coffee cup, and Holden took it and filled it automatically. No sugar, room for cream.

“It does,” Naomi said, coming to the kitchen. “Just not enough to take the whole damned bulkhead out over it. The replacements are never as strong as the originals. You know that.”

Alex had met Naomi Nagata back on the Canterbury. He could still see the rawboned, angry girl who Captain McDowell had introduced as their new junior engineer. She’d hidden behind her hair for almost a year. Now, she had the first few threads of white among the black. She stood taller, more at home in her own skin. Surer of herself and stronger than he would have guessed she could be. And Holden, the swaggering, self-impressed executive officer who swept into civilian work wearing his dishonorable discharge like a boast had become this man handing him the cream and cheerfully admitting the irrationality of his fears. Time had changed all of them, he supposed. Only he wasn’t sure how he had been affected. Too close to the question, he guessed.

Except Amos. Nothing changed Amos.

“What about you, Alex?”

He grinned and let his Mariner Valley drawl thicken. “Well, shoot, I figure it didn’t kill us when it was here, it ain’t gonna kill us now it’s gone.”

“Fine,” Holden said with a sigh.

“It’ll save us money,” Naomi said, “and we’ll be better off.”

“I know,” Holden said. “But I’m still going to feel weird about it.”

“Where’s Amos?” Naomi asked. “Is he still catting around?”

“No,” Alex said. “He hit the brothels hard enough to burn through his petty cash the first few days in port. Since then, we’ve just been passing the time.”

“We’ll need to find something to keep him busy while we’re on Tycho,” Holden said. “Hell, we’ll need to find something to keep all of us busy.”

“We could look for work on the station,” Naomi said. “I don’t know what they’re hiring for.”

“We’ve got offers from a half-dozen places for paid debriefings on New Terra,” Holden said.

“So does every other person that came back through the Ring,” Naomi said, laughter in her voice. “And the feed there and back still works.”

“You’re saying we shouldn’t do it?” Holden said, his tone vaguely hurt.

“I’m saying I can find a lot of things I’d rather get paid for than talking about myself.”

Holden deflated, just a little. “Fair point. But we’re stuck here for a long time. We’re going to have to do something.”

Alex took a deep breath. Here it was. The moment. His resolve wavered. He poured the cream into the cup, the blackness of the coffee resolving into a gentle tan. The lump in his throat felt as big as an egg.

“So,” he said. “I’ve… ah… I’ve been thinking about things —”

The suite door opened and Amos stepped in. “Hey, Cap’n. I’m gonna need some time off.”

Naomi tilted her head, her brows coming together, but it was Holden who spoke.

“Time off?”

“Yeah, I got to go back to Earth for a little bit.”

Naomi sat at the stool by the breakfast bar. “What’s the matter?”

“Don’t know,” Amos said. “Maybe nothing, but I kinda need to go look to find out. Be sure. You know.”

“Is anything wrong?” Holden asked. “Because if it’s a thing, we can wait for the Roci to be fixed up, and we can all go together. I’ve been looking for an excuse to get Naomi back down to Earth so the family can meet her.”

The annoyance that crossed the engineer’s face was almost faster than Alex’s refresh rate. Moments like that made him nervous. The way Holden could push Naomi past her comfort zone and not even know he was doing it. But she recovered even before Amos could speak.

“May have to keep looking for your excuse, Cap. There’s a little time pressure on my thing. Lady I used to spend time with died. I just need to go make sure everything there’s on the up-and-up.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Naomi said at the same moment Holden said, “Taking care of her estate?”

“Sure, something like that,” Amos said. “Anyway, I booked transport to Ceres and then down the well, but I need to cash out some of my shares for spending money while I’m there.”

The room went still for a moment. “You’re coming back, though,” Naomi said.

“Plan to,” Amos said. It struck Alex that the answer was more honest than a yes. Amos planned to, but things happened. In all the time they’d spent in all their runs on the Cant or the Roci, Alex had never heard Amos talk about his life back on Earth except in the most general terms. He wondered if it was because the past wasn’t worth mentioning or was too painful to talk about. With Amos, it could have been both at the same time.

“Of course,” Holden said. “Just tell me how much you need.”

The negotiation was brief, the transfer made on their hand terminals. Amos grinned and slapped Alex on the shoulder.

“All right. You got the place to yourself.”

“When are you shipping out?” Alex asked.

“’Bout an hour. I should go get in line.”