Myth-Gotten Gains

"I remember. We let him in. I wasn't happy about it, but his was the face on the card. However, we did not allow him to buy three drinks for the price of one."

"Yes, that's right," I said. "You handled that one just right, too."

Polka frowned.

"So let me get this straight—you let the Board remove your powers temporarily so you could trigger the 'members-only' barriers?"

"Yup. And to see if I could get you to let me into the rest of the club premises even though I don't qualify." I laughed heartily. "But you stuck to procedure. They're gonna be really pleased with you, lemme tell you!"

Polka looked horrified. "Why would anyone do that? Leaving yourself. ..helpless!"

"Well," I said, looking modest. "Sometimes you've just got to take one for the club, you know? Rule 46: a member must keep the well-being of his fellows uppermost in his mind at all times."

"That's Rule 47," Polka said, peevishly. "

Savona cleared his throat again. The soft sound had menace behind it. His fangs gleamed.

"He's lying, Mr. Polka."

"No, I'm not," I said, heartily. "I'm just a good guy helping out."

"This is the first that I have heard of a test of the security system. I have been in charge of that department for 1,043 years. The Board has never shown any signs of being discontented with my work or that of my colleagues. There have been no significant breaches that would provoke them to undertake such a test. I believe he must have lost his powers under some other circumstances. I am afraid, though, that such a loss does constitute grounds for dismissal from the membership."

"Hold it, hold it!" I said. "I'm still a magician. Of course. It takes more than power to qualify. You know that. There's prestidigitation, misdirection, illusion, none of which requires magik."

"That's very true." Polka snapped his fingers, and a pink sequined top hat appeared in his hands. He thrust it at me. "If you are still a magician, then pull a rabbit out of this hat."

Now, everyone was looking. Tananda started to make motions. She was going to try and raise a rabbit for me behind everyone's back. Of all the gin joints in every dimension, this was the wrong one. Everyone in the lounge turned to stare at her.

"Yipe!"

Savona aimed a talon, and she and Calypsa were both wrapped up in a cocoon of ribbons from shoulder to hip.

"I am terribly sorry," he said. "No outside interference is permitted. Pray proceed."

I was on my own.

"Well?" Polka asked. I grinned painfully.

"C'mon, I don't do rabbits," I said. "That's small-time stuff."

"Small-time?" A tall, thin, blue-skinned magician rose up in indignation. He was about three feet taller than I was. He loomed down at me. "Pulling rabbits from hats small-time? I'll have you know I have wowed them at the Borean Palace for over fifty years with rabbits!"

"Look, I'm not trying to offend you," I said, reaching up with some difficulty to slap the Bore on the back. "I'm just into bigger effects, that's all."

"Then produce one," Polka said. "Not with the help of your assistants. Not with the help of those fancy gizmos you have with you. Just you. Wow us."

I'm famous for thinking on my feet, but there's times when not even slick talking will help.

"Look," I said, leaning closer to the Squirt and grinning companionably. He leaned away. "You wouldn't embarrass an old member, would you? Down on his luck, and all. I'll get 'em back one of these days. In fact, that's what I came to talk to my buddy about' restoring my powers. You wouldn't want to get in the way of that? I've been a member in good standing for decades. Don't I get a little leeway?"

"Well..." Polka's expression softened slightly, but Savona's didn't.

"I would like to point out that the monitors have detected the character of the items concealed about the persons of Mr. Aahzmandius and his colleagues. They are Prohibited, sir."

Even I could hear the capital P. By now we were attracting attention. I tried jollying him. "It's just part of the test, Savona. C'mon."

"I am very sorry, sir, but there are no bylaws under which \ou may carry into these premises either a magikal sword, especially not one of such intrinsic power..."

"A sword?" Polka squeaked, but Savona wasn't finished.

".. .or a device for prognostication. In fact, the latter would be banned anywhere in the city. It could predict the outcome of bets, possibly resulting in the loss of millions at the tables. The accuracy readings are off the charts."

"Hmm," I said. "I never thought of that." Kelsa might have some uses after all. But Polka wasn't up for speculation.

"Where is it?" he asked, shaking with rage.

Savona pointed at Tananda. "That young lady has it in her possession. She is the architect of an illusion spell that is keeping the normal appearance of all the items concealed."

"You were planning to cheat the casinos?" Polka demanded, breasting up to me. "Using the club as a base? That's outrageous!"

"No, that's not why we're here," I protested. "Look, all I want to do is talk to my friend in the library, okay?"