Myth-Gotten Gains

"We'll get it out of her," I said. I smacked the table with a palm. "Put 'er there."

Very reluctantly, Calypsa unfolded the cloth that contained the crystal ball. The second the folds fell away, we could hear what had probably been an uninterrupted stream-of-conscious-ness, if you could call that babble consciousness.

".. .this has all been very exciting, you know. I haven't been carried off in many years! Well, not since I was staying with a Rhinoid fortune teller, and her neighbors stampeded, taking the entire tent with them on the tips of their horns as they thundered across the plains. What a ride that was! I haven't been so bobbled in..." The turbaned head turned around in a circle, and the eyes behind the diamante glasses blinked at all of us. "There you are! My goodness, I wondered why no one answered me. It was dark in there!"

"And she's a seer?" I asked, with a groan.

"She is clueless regarding her own circumstances," Ersatz said, resignedly. "It was ever thus."

"Hi, er, Kelsa," Tananda said, tapping the crystal ball to get her attention. The head turned to look at her. Kelsa beamed.

"Oh, yes, you're the one who stole me! Very deft, you know, very deft. Why, I would think that you're the smoothest thief ever to remove me in...oh, six centuries!"

"Thanks," Tananda said. "Look, do you know why I took you?"

The eyes blinked. "Why, of course I do, dear. You want to reunite the Golden Hoard!"

"Can you tell us why you think it might be a bad idea?"

"It depends, dear. What do you consider a bad idea?" Kelsa asked. "Explosions? War? Fire? Cannibalism?"

Tananda blinked a couple of times. "Yes, those would qualify in my book as bad ideas."

"Of course you do! I can tell just by looking into your soul." Kelsa nodded knowingly.

"Tell us why it's going to happen, then."

"Well, because it is! I told you all before."

"No, it is not, Kelsa," Ersatz said. "Have you no memory? Don't you recall the last time we were all together? What a terrible time that was?"

The large eyes clouded for a moment, then looked alarmed. "It wasn't that bad, dear. Not really."

"Indeed it was, Kelsa," the sword insisted. "I will not cooperate with this. Neither will my friend Aahz."

"Wait!" Calypsa pleaded, leaning toward me. "Is there nothing that you would take to let me have this sword and complete my quest, Aahz? Do you have no heart's desire that I can fulfill?"

"Nothing." I crossed my arms firmly. "One hundred gold pieces, and I'm out of here. That's all I want."

"Oh, that's easy," Kelsa said, interrupting my protest. Her eyes had gone all unfocused again. "He wants his magikal powers restored."

"No!" I bellowed. "Not a single thing! Not a...what?"

"His powers are gone," Kelsa went on telling Calypsa, as if I hadn't spoken. "He's been without them a while now, though he's done well enough by his cunning. Don't discount his brains, dear, in spite of his looks. A foolish trick by a trusted friend, now dead. A joke, but with serious consequences."

"Can it be undone?" Calypsa asked.

"Oh, of course!" Kelsa said. "Why..."

I leaned forward, interested in spite of myself.

"No!" Ersatz exclaimed. "We seek only to locate Chin-Hwag. She can help me to pay my debt. Then we will go. Can you tell me where to find her?"

"Now, wait a moment," I said, holding up a hand to forestall him. "It couldn't hurt to ask the lady. What would it take to get my powers back?"

"Well," Kelsa said, turning her Pervect-face to me. "It might be that the Cup can help. Or perhaps the Ring. The

Book would have all that information at his fingertips, so to speak, since all he has is pages. He's full of useful spells. He is, after all, the Ultimate Grimoire."

"Really?" I asked. The possibility of having my powers restored again had never occurred to me. I had been so relieved to be able to wander the dimensions freely with the help of the D-hopper that my imagination hadn't taken me any further—not yet, anyhow. That imagination was operating at full throttle now. I could be a full magician again? Never again to be taken advantage of by some two-bit huckster who had picked up half a spell from the back of a box of Witch Crunchies cereal? Not to set off magikal boobytraps because I couldn't feel the force lines leading into it from sky or earth? "How do I find them? What do I need to do to get my powers back?"

I ignored the cat-ate-canary grin on Tanda's face as she sat back in the chair and swung her boots up on the table top. I was just gathering facts, that was all.

Kelsa squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated. "Hmm. The possibilities are most intriguing. Plenty of scope. You need scope."

"Keep the personal remarks to yourself," I growled. "Just read me the small print, willya?"

"Just a moment, Aahz," Ersatz said, the sharp eyes showing panic. "You cannot agree with their insane plan? It will be a disaster."

"Just considering it," I said, casually. "It doesn't do any harm to hear what she's got to say, does it?"

"No...I...of course it does! Harden your resolve, friend!"