Mr. Knightley’s Diary

"So I hoped, but she was adamant that nothing had been further from your mind - or hers. And then you sat with her at Hartfield just before you went to London, the day after Box Hill. She distinctly remembered you saying you could not stay for five minutes, but then you stayed with her for half an hour."

"That is because I was waiting for you."

"So I hoped..."

"You hoped?"

"When Harriet told me she was in love with you, and she was sure her feelings were returned - that is when I knew I loved you. I told her she must be mistaken, but she gave so many proofs of your affection, I thought it must be true. I was thinking of it as I walked in the garden when you returned from London, and it was at the forefront of my mind as you said you had something to tell me."

"You thought…" I began in surprise. "You cannot mean to say that you thought I was about to talk of Harriet?"

"Yes. I thought you were about to tell me that you were in love with her."

"So that is why you looked so sad."

"I thought I had lost you. I had spent so long meddling with other people’s hearts, I had neglected my own."

"So when I spoke, and you tried to silence me…"

"…it was because I could not bear to hear you say that you intended to marry Harriet. But I realized that, as a friend, I could not refuse to listen, and so I said you might speak. And then you said that you loved me."

"Oh, Emma," I said.

Words failed me, and so I abandoned them, and kissed her. It felt so right that I kissed her again. And then again.

Tuesday 10 August

John has arrived from London with his family, and Harriet has returned with them. When I called on Emma this afternoon, she had spoken to her friend, and after a little awkwardness on each side, they had congratulated each other with a warm and sincere affection.

Emma has invited Robert Martin to call on her, and I am sure he will be happy to accept the invitation.

Thursday 12 August

Robert Martin called at Hartfield today, and Emma was delighted to meet him. Harriet was as happy as it is possible for a woman to be, and Robert’s happiness, I do believe, approached my own.

Harriet’s father has been discovered at last. Mrs. Goddard revealed his name to Mr. Martin, and Harriet now knows she is the natural daughter of a tradesman. Robert Martin has applied to him, and he has given his consent to the marriage.

Autumn will be a season of weddings!

September

Friday 10 September

Emma and I have decided to marry whilst Isabella and John are still here. It will allow Emma and me to go to the seaside for a fortnight after the wedding, and we will not have to worry about leaving Mr. Woodhouse alone. As Harriet is marrying in a few weeks" time, and Churchill is marrying in November, we have settled on October. John and Isabella approve the plan; so do the Westons. But we still have to get Mr. Woodhouse’s consent.

Emma said, this evening: "Papa, Mr. Knightley and I have decided to marry in October. Then you can have a quiet fortnight with Isabella and John and all the dear little children whilst we are away."

"October!" said he, looking stricken. "But that is next month."

"That is a good thing, Papa," said Isabella, "as it means you will have Mr. Knightley’s company all the sooner."

"But we already have his company. He walks over from the Abbey to see us every day. You had much better not get married, Emma. It will be better if we stay as we are."

He was so troubled that I despaired of ever seeing my wedding-day.

"I cannot marry if it will cause him so much pain," said Emma, when he had retired for the night.

"He will accept it as soon as it is a settled thing," said John. "It is only this indecision that makes him anxious. Tell him the date; go ahead with your plan; and he will accustom himself to it. That is how Isabella and I managed."

But Emma is unhappy, and I hate to see her so.

Monday 13 September

Isabella again tried to reconcile her father to our marriage.

"I will be very pleased to see Emma so well settled," she said.

"Poor Emma!" said her father, with a heavy sigh.

Isabella did not give up, but her father was not any more sanguine as she continued to talk of the marriage. He did not oppose it; indeed he talked about it as though it was a settled thing; but in such a drooping tone of voice that Emma said to me, after dinner, that she thought we should abandon the plan, at least for the moment.

I rallied her spirits, but she could not proceed. She took no interest in the arrangements, and said at last that, if it was going to make her father so unhappy, she could not do it.