Mr. Darcy's Diary

‘She was not so very well-behaved when I told her,’ said Bingley, ‘but I reminded her that if she was not civil about it she would find herself excluded from Pemberley.’

We arrived. Mrs Bennet was all smiles as she greeted Bingley, and all grimaces as she made me a curtsy. How will she react when she knows I am to be her son-in-law?

Bingley looked at Elizabeth warmly, so that I am sure she guessed I had told him, then he said: ‘Mrs Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again today?’

Mrs Bennet was all too ready to fall in with his suggestion, eager to allow him a little privacy with Jane. She suggested we walk to Oakham Mount. Bingley, in lively humour, said he was sure it would be too much for Kitty, and Kitty agreed she would rather stay at home. It is a change to have Bingley ordering my life for me! But I could not complain, since a few minutes later I found myself out of doors and free to talk to Elizabeth.

‘I must ask your father for his consent to the marriage,’ I said, as we wandered towards the mount.

‘And if he does not give it?’ she asked with an arch smile.

‘Then I will have to carry you off without it,’ I said.

‘Do you think he will withhold it?’ I asked her more seriously.

‘No. I am not afraid of what he might say. At least, not once he comes to know you, though to begin with he might be surprised. When Mr Collins’s letter came…’

She broke off.

I looked at her enquiringly.

‘Mr Collins wrote to him, telling him that I must not marry you, as it would anger Lady Catherine!’

‘And what did your father reply?’

‘He is too busy savouring the joke to write back.’

‘I can see I will have a difficult time with him. Will he think I am joking when I ask for your hand?’

‘I don’t believe he will dare,’ she said.

She spoke lightly, but I could tell she was troubled.

‘I will take pains to know him,’ I said. ‘He and I will come to understand each other better, and I will make sure he does not ever regret giving his consent.’

We walked on.

‘And then there is my mother,’ she said.

‘Will I stop being that man, do you think?’ I asked her with a smile.

‘Don’t,’ she said with a shudder. ‘If you knew how many times I have blushed for her, or wished her to be silent. I think I will tell her when she is alone,’ she went on. ‘Then she will have a chance to overcome the first shock, and perhaps it will make her more rational when she speaks to you.’

‘Exactly Bingley’s feelings, when deciding it would be better if he told Caroline!’

‘I wonder if she will continue to find your handwriting so even once you are married?’

‘I fear not. She will probably think it uncommonly untidy.’

We reached the top of the mount.

‘Well, and what do you think of the view?’ Elizabeth asked me.

I turned to look at her.

‘I like it very much,’ I said.

She looked so beautiful that I gave in to the urge to kiss her. She was surprised at first, but then responded warmly, and I knew our marriage would be a happy one in every way.

We walked on together, talking of the future. I am eager to show Elizabeth Pemberley, not as a visitor, but as its future mistress.

‘You will not mind my aunt and uncle visiting?’ she asked.

‘Of course not. I liked them.’

‘And my sisters?’

‘Jane and Bingley will be with us often. Your younger sisters are welcome to come whenever they, or you, choose. But I will not have Wickham there.’

We rejoined Jane and Bingley and returned to Longbourn.

Throughout the evening, Elizabeth was not at ease. I longed to put her out of her misery, but could not speak to Mr Bennet until after dinner. As soon as I saw him withdraw to the library, I followed him.

‘Mr Darcy,’ he said in surprise, as I closed the library door behind me.

‘I would like to speak to you,’ I said.

‘I am at your disposal. You have heard, I suppose, of the rumour that you are to marry Elizabeth and want it stopped, but I advise you to enjoy it for its absurdity, instead of fretting over what is a harmless piece of nonsense.’

‘I don’t find it in the least bit absurd,’ I said to him. ‘I find it highly desirable. I have followed you in order to ask you for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage.’

His mouth fell open.

‘Ask me for Elizabeth’s hand in marriage?’ he repeated at last.

‘Yes.’

‘But there must be some mistake.’

‘There is no mistake.’

‘But I thought…that is, Mr Collins is such a fool! He is forever regaling me with some new and preposterous story, and I was sure he must have made a mistake. You, who have never looked at Elizabeth in your life! And yet now you tell me you want to marry her.’