Mr. Darcy's Diary

Georgiana looked at me for approval and I smiled at her. She has not had much experience of welcoming guests, and none at all of welcoming people whom she does not know, but she acquitted herself very well.

Caroline evidently felt she had been silent long enough.

‘Pray, Miss Eliza, are not the militia removed from Meryton? They must be a great loss to your family.’

I had never heard her speak with such venom. Her satirical comments were usually uttered with some semblance of a smile, but there was nothing humorous about them today, and I realized for the first time how truly poisonous Caroline can be.

I saw Elizabeth’s distress. A thousand recollections flooded my mind. My own ungenerous remarks concerning her younger sisters; her face as she flung an accusation of ruining Wickham at me; my angry retaliation; and then my letter.

I felt for her, but she had no need of my assistance in repelling the attack. After a moment’s distress she replied:

‘It is always sad to lose the company of intelligent and good-natured people. There are those who enter a neighbourhood with a view of mocking all they see, or an intention of forming false friendships with which to while away their time whilst giving no thought to the feelings of those who must remain. But we were fortunate with the officers. They were polite and well-bred.

They gave us pleasure when they were with us, and left nothing but pleasant memories behind when they went.’

I caught Elizabeth’s eye and smiled. Caroline was silenced, and my sister was relieved from the acute embarrassment she had experienced when Caroline’s words had reminded her of George Wickham. I was relieved of a great burden. By her calm manner I believed Elizabeth’s infatuation with Wickham to be over.

The visit came to an end, but I could not bear to let Elizabeth go.

‘You must let me see you to the carriage,’ I said, as Mrs Gardiner rose to take her leave.

‘Thank you,’ she said.

I walked with them, glad of the opportunity it afforded me to be with Elizabeth. Her aunt walked a little ahead, so that I could talk to her alone.

‘I hope you have enjoyed your morning.’

‘Yes, thank you, I have.’

‘I hope I will see you here again.’

We had reached the carriage, I could say no more. But my feelings were in my glance. She blushed, and looked down, from confusion, I hope. There is still some little awkwardness between us, but that will pass, and then I will discover if her feelings towards me are still what they were at Easter.

I handed Mrs Gardiner into the carriage. I handed Elizabeth in after her, and the carriage pulled away.

Little had I known when I had returned to Pemberley that it would hold so much of interest for me. It would soon have a new mistress, I hoped. I looked across the sweeping lawns and pictured my sons going down to the river to fish. I looked to the house and saw my daughters returning from a walk, their petticoats covered in mud. If I could be sure it would come to pass, I would think myself lucky indeed.

I was loath to return to the saloon, but knew it must be done. I could not leave Georgiana alone with Caroline and Louisa. They had done nothing to help her during Elizabeth’s visit, and had indeed added to her distress.

If it was possible to invite Bingley to Pemberley without his sisters I would willingly do so.

‘How very ill Miss Eliza Bennet looks this morning,’ said Caroline, as soon as I entered the room. ‘She is grown so brown and coarse. Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again.’

It was clear to me that Caroline’s remarks were inspired by jealousy. I had wondered, on occasion, if she fancied herself the next Mrs Darcy, but dismissed the notion. Now I was sure of it. I was determined not to let her ill-natured remarks ruin my happiness, however.

‘I saw nothing different about her, except that she was rather tanned, no miraculous consequence of travelling in summer.’

‘For my own part,’ she went on spitefully, ‘I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her.’

As she went on to criticize Elizabeth’s nose, chin, complexion and teeth I grew more and more annoyed, but said nothing, even when she added: ‘And as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine, I never could perceive anything extraordinary in them.’

She looked at me challengingly, but I remained determinedly silent.

‘I remember your saying one night, after they had been dining at Netherfield: “She is a beauty! – I should as soon call her mother a wit”.’

‘Yes,’ I replied, unable to contain myself, ‘but that was only when I first knew her, for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.’

And so saying, I walked out of the room.

Caroline’s impertinence goes beyond all bounds. If she was not Bingley’s sister I would tell her to leave. To insult Elizabeth, to me! She must be far gone with jealousy indeed.

But she cannot pierce my happiness. I love Elizabeth.

Now it only remains to be seen if Elizabeth loves me.

Friday 8th August