Merciless

“There is no set time. I’ve dealt with this situation before, and if I had to hazard a guess at this point, I’d say we’re looking at around six to seven days. Obviously, we want Mr. Dawson brought out of it as soon as it’s safe because of the other potential health issues associated with his being in this state.”

“What other health issues?”

“Pneumonia. Blood clots. Muscle paralysis. All conditions that stem from patient immobility during the coma and that could linger after he regains consciousness.”

I closed my eyes. So many thoughts racing through my head. Would Mason ever be the same? And if he wasn’t… would he push me away? Would he think I couldn’t handle him being less than perfect?

“I understand it’s a lot to comprehend, Miz Gunderson. And the ‘wait and see’ diagnosis is never ideal, but it’s the only one I have right now.”

“Thank you. Thanks for… working to save him.” That sounded lame, but I really didn’t know what else to say.

“You’re welcome. I’ll be monitoring his condition personally. And I’ll keep you as up-to-date as possible.” He looked at the chart. “This cell number is the best way to reach you? Do you have a work number during the day?”

“I’m a federal agent with the FBI, but that number is your best bet for reaching me at any hour of the day or night.”

His eyebrows rose, and he looked at me a little differently after I disclosed my occupation.

Lex blurted, “When can I see him?”

“He’s in ICU,” the doctor started. “It’s been a long night, and maybe if you come back tomorrow-” Dr. Jeffers stopped speaking when I shook my head.

“We need to see him. If only for a minute.”

After a couple seconds he nodded. “I’ll arrange it. But you should pass on the ‘no visitor’s’ policy to other family members.”

“His coworkers, too?”

He nodded. “The slightest infection is deadly for him. So if either of you develop even a case of the sniffles, you’d best stay away.”

“Understood.”

“I’ll take you up to see him right now. That way I can answer any questions.”

“Sounds fair,” I said to Lex. “I know you’ll make your dad proud and follow all the rules, right?”

Dr. Jeffers talked to Lex, trying to put him at ease. He led us out of the ER through a maze of hallways until we were at a bank of elevators, a different set than the ones I’d used before.

We stopped on the fourth floor and took a left. The doctor spoke briefly to a nurse, and she directed us to an area where we put on protective clothing. Surgical masks. Latex gloves. Plastic gowns. Once we were suited up, Dr. Jeffers stopped in front of room 406.

I froze outside the door, waiting for courage to muscle past my fear. Waiting for Dawson’s gentle hand to touch my face, urge me to open my eyes and reassure me that this was just another bad dream.

Come on Mercy, wake up. It’s me. It’s just us here, remember?

But the hand clutched in mine was small. The doctor had tried to prepare Lex for what he might see once we were in the room, yet I’d in no way prepared myself.

I couldn’t do this.

The hiss of a breathing apparatus echoed like a steam radiator, jarring me when Dr. Jeffers opened the door.

I inhaled a deep breath. I clenched my teeth together as I exhaled out my nose.

I couldn’t do this.

“Come. On.” Lex dragged out those two words. Not even his impatience spurred me. He tugged at me until I followed him.

We both stopped at seeing the big man lying in a hospital bed. The gown he wore left his body uncovered from midthigh. I had the overwhelming urge to cover him, knowing he’d hate being so exposed. His feet were encased in socks. I wanted to yank them off. He hated wearing socks to bed.

I didn’t want to look higher than his feet, but I did.

Mason was hooked up to machines and IVs, and I heard the respirator’s sucking, wheezing sounds as the machine breathed for him.

“You can come closer,” the doctor said softly.

Lex had to jerk hard on my arm to get me to move.

A bunch of apparatuses surrounded his head, so I knew he was there, but I couldn’t actually see his face. His hands were by his sides. Even in sleep Dawson’s big hands were curled into fists. Or his hands were on me. They were never like this. Flat. Posed. Pale. Artificial-looking. Lifeless.

Don’t even fucking think that way.

“Dad?” Lex said. “I know you can’t talk, but I wanted you to know I’m here. Lex. And Mercy.”

The surgical mask muffled the words, but not the earnestness in them.

Stay strong. For fuck’s sake, stay strong for this kid.

I held myself together even when everything inside me was starting to fracture.

“Mercy?” Lex said. “Don’t you wanna say something to him?”

I swallowed before I asked the doctor, “Can I touch him?”

“Briefly.”