Now, I am about to describe all sorts of emotional or psychological manifestations that can sometimes happen at this stage. The more extreme the description of a possible side-effect of this stage, the rarer that side-effect is likely to be, particularly those that sound like descriptions of mental illness. For someone who is staying at the level of bare sensate experience, as I strongly recommend, the only difficult manifestations that seem to be quite common are a strong sense of aversion to formal meditation and experience, and a deep sense of primal frustration, though these tend to fall quickly in the face of good practice, and if our concentration is strong enough and our other factors are in balance, we may move through this stage with no problem at all.
The aversion to meditation and experience are due to the fact that the vibrations by this point can be quite fast and harsh and the noise in our repetitive minds quite irritating. Some of my own descriptions of this stage while on retreat have included such phrases as “the mindstorm” and “a bracing work in D minor for six sense doors, hailstorm and stuttering banshee.” If we are very powerful meditators, it can literally feel as if we will be torn apart by these vibrations, and this is exactly what we are trying to accomplish. Even if the other odd manifestations do arise, if we are practicing well they should not last very long at all, at best minutes, at worst hours or days.
All of that said, and before I go on, those who are crossing this territory with strong concentration abilities and using some very rarefied object, such as a complex visualization on sacred geometry as one of many possible examples, may, if they are very good, pass through this stage with little or no difficulty at all, and all they may notice is that the thing gets wider and wider, the patterns get more complex and attain to wider, more spherical dimensions and perhaps many-fold symmetries, and that it comes around to encompass basically the whole field of experience, kind of like watching an IMAX movie of a moving
technicolor spirograph in the front row, or some similar thing. I use this 194
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example partly due to my own experiments and partly to illustrate general points. Different objects will produce different specifics, such as colors, images, etc., while some universal aspects of what happens during this stage will remain basically the same.
You see, Re-observation is actually all fluff and no substance, but if you confuse fluff for substance, the effect will be the same as if it actually had substance. It is like a toothless dog with a ferocious bark. If you run screaming or faint from fear when the dog barks, then it needed no teeth to prevent your progress. The corollary is that the primary sign that the negative side effects that may occur in the Dark Night are actually not associated with insight stages but instead are due to other processes is that they do not change much in the face of strong and accepting investigation or stopping practice entirely. That said…
This stage is sometimes called the “rolling up the mat stage” and is when many who joined monasteries in the stage of the Arising and Passing Away now give up and disrobe. People on retreats tend to need lots of reassurance and often leave right then even with good guidance and encouragement. There can be the distinct feeling that it is impossible to go forward and useless to go back, which is exactly the lesson they should learn. Acceptance of right here and right now is required, even if it seems that this mind and this body are quite unacceptable and unworthy of investigation. No sensations are unworthy of investigation!
One of the hallmarks of the early part of this stage is that we may begin to clearly see exactly what our minds do all day long, see with great clarity how the illusion of a dualistic split is even created in the first place sensation by sensation, moment to moment, but somehow there is not yet enough spaciousness of perspective and equanimity to make good use of this information. This can be very frustrating, as we wonder how many times we have to learn these lessons before they stick.
Great feelings of frustration and disenchantment with life,
relationships, sex, jobs, moral codes and “worldly” responsibilities may sometimes emerge at this stage in ways that can cause all sorts of disruption and angst. These aspects of one’s life can temporarily seem bland and pointless at this stage, though it may seem that this will always be the way one feels about them. This stage can mimic or perhaps 195
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