Leafpool’s Wish

Leafpool crouched on the ground, not daring to move. She waited for Yellowfang to tell her how reckless she had been, how she had dishonored medicine cats everywhere. But to her surprise, she felt a rough tongue licking her head. Shaking, Leafpool let herself relax against the old she-cat.

“Oh little one,” Yellowfang rasped, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s hardly your fault,” Leafpool pointed out, her voice muffled by Yellowfang’s fur.

“You know, you’re not the first medicine cat to have this happen,” the old cat mewed.

“Really?” Leafpool was disbelieving.

Yellowfang nodded, her chin brushing Leafpool’s ears. “It happened to me, a long time ago.”

Leafpool sat up so quickly that her head banged against Yellowfang’s muzzle. “What?”

The gray-furred she-cat sighed and turned away to sit at the edge of the Moonpool. The water was still now, black and starlit like the sky. “Have you heard of Brokenstar?” she asked.

“Of course,” mewed Leafpool. “Leader of ShadowClan before Nightstar and Blackstar. He tried to destroy ThunderClan with the help of rogues.”

Yellowfang nodded. “He was my son.”

Leafpool nearly fell over. “Did any cat know?”

“Never. It was a terrible mistake, and I was punished by my secret every day of my life.”

“Is… is that what’s going to happen with my kits?” Leafpool whispered. “Are they a terrible mistake, too?”

Yellowfang closed her rheumy eyes. “Never say that. Life is always precious. It is what we fight for so hard, with every breath we take.”

“But medicine cats are forbidden to have kits. What I have done is wrong.” Leafpool crouched on the stone, feeling the chill seep into her paws.

“Wrong according to one code, but there are other ways to judge what we do,” Yellowfang rasped. “We are not allowed to have kits because we are supposed to love all our Clanmates equally, and the first Clan cats were afraid that we could treat our own kin ahead of any others. But when your kits are born, Leafpool, you will learn that your heart has space in it to love more than you could possibly imagine. Loving your kits does not mean you have less love for your Clan.”

“Then the code should be different?” Leafpool mewed hopefully.

Yellowfang lashed her tail. “I did not say that. The code of the medicine cats is there to remind us of our duties. We cannot change it, any more than we can change the seasons.”

Leafpool felt a faint stirring in her belly, and she curled her tail protectively around her flank. “Is there any chance my Clanmates will accept these kits?”

“ThunderClan lives and breathes the warrior code. I cannot promise they will forgive you. But your Clanmates have suffered so much these past few moons, nothing should matter more to you than staying with them.” The old cat’s gaze softened. “Your kits need not follow the same path as mine. If they believe that they are wanted and loved from the moment they take their first breath, they will have a chance to grow into strong, loyal, kind warriors.” She looked down at her paws. “My mistake was to give Brokenstar to a cat who did not love him, who resented every mouthful of milk he took from her.”

“Please help me!” Leafpool begged. “I want to serve my Clan, but I cannot make these kits disappear!”

Yellowfang stood up and started to walk back to the shadows. “You’ll have to be smarter than I was, that’s all.”

Leafpool opened her mouth to protest. But there was a rush of wind and darkness, and when she opened her eyes she was lying beside the Moonpool with her babies wriggling inside her as if they were tired of lying on the cold ground. Leafpool heaved herself to her paws. StarClan had spoken clearly: Her duty was to remain as ThunderClan’s medicine cat. But how, when there was no way to keep these kits secret?

Leafpool knew she had to confide in a living cat. And there was only one she could think of: a cat from whom love and happiness spilled out. Surely there would be enough to spare for some helpless kits? And this was the cat Leafpool had been closest to all her life, even when they were far apart…

Chapter 4

“Squirrelflight, do you have a moment? I need to speak with you.”

The dark ginger she-cat turned and looked at Leafpool. “Can’t it wait?” Her pelt was ruffled and her green eyes shone with temper. “Brambleclaw wants me to fetch soaked moss for the nursery, even though it’s an apprentice task. He hasn’t stopped giving out orders since Firestar made him deputy!”

“I could come with you,” Leafpool offered.

Squirrelflight twitched her ears. “Okay, if there’s really nothing more important you need to do.”

They passed Mousefur on the way to the entrance. The elderly she-cat eyed Leafpool’s belly. “Plenty of mice at the Moonpool, was there? You’re looking plump, Leafpool!”

Leafpool flinched and tried to tuck in her flanks. “StarClan has been generous with prey this leaf-bare,” she mewed, speeding up.