Kill Whitey

Darryl gripped the wheel. “Larry, I’m gonna kill your new girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend…”

“Shut up.” He glared at her in the rearview mirror. “What the hell did you do that for? Fucking phone cost me a whole goddamn paycheck. You know you’re paying for that shit, right?”

Sondra’s bottom lip trembled. “No hit me, please. No more. I am sorry. I buy you new phone. Just no hit.”

“Hit you?” Darryl’s voice immediately softened. “No. Relax. Ain’t either of us gonna hit you. We don’t beat on women. We ain’t no chumps. It’s okay. You’ll be okay. Just tell us what’s going on and why you don’t want to call the cops.”

“Let’s get off the road first,” I suggested. I was starting to feel a little better. “I don’t like being out here. If they called the cops and gave them my plate number, then the State troopers might be looking for us.”

“Why would they call the cops? Aren’t they the motherfuckers that shot at us? That doesn’t exactly seem like the behavior of law-abiding citizens, does it?”

“No,” I agreed, “it doesn’t.”

“Damn straight it doesn’t. These guys are mobsters. They ain’t gonna call the po-po. ”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“Jesse and Tonya said—”

“Fuck Jesse and Tonya,” I interrupted. “We don’t know for sure if these guys are Russian mob.”

“Yes,” Sondra said. “They are.”

“Oh…”

Darryl chuckled. “Well, that’s just fucking wonderful, now ain’t it?”

We were silent for a few minutes. Darryl took the exit for Interstate 83 and we headed back to York.

“Let’s get off the road,” I said again. “We need to go somewhere and think. Sort this whole thing out.”

“Where?”

“My place. If the cops aren’t looking for us, then we’ll be safe there. The Russians don’t know our names and they don’t know where we live.”

Darryl arched an eyebrow. “Your place?”

“Yeah. My apartment. Sondra can get cleaned up a little and then explain everything.”

Sondra smiled.

I blushed. My ears burned and my cheeks felt warm. Her smile grew broader and so did my embarrassment.

Darryl looked at me and then at Sondra. He shook his head and sighed.

“There you go, thinking with your goddamned dick…”

“Shut up, Darryl.”

That was how I finally met Sondra.

And it was the last time I was ever truly happy.

Things got worse after that.

eight

Webster greeted us with a hiss. His food dish was half-empty again. In protest, I noticed that he’d flipped his water bowl over, soaking the doormat. He sat on his haunches, glared at Darryl, and then growled.

“Don’t growl at me, fur ball. I’ll tell Larry to sell you to the animal testing people.”

Hissing at the threat, Webster retreated to safety beneath the kitchen table. After a moment, he crept out and investigated Sondra, who was busy looking around. Darryl went to the window and peeked through the shades.

“Anything?” I asked.

“Nobody out there,” he said. “We’re cool.”

I didn’t reply. My attention had returned to Sondra. She’d been timid at first, half afraid to come inside. But now she was crouched on the kitchen floor, holding Webster in her lap. She slowly stroked his fur. Blinking, Webster purred. He seemed as surprised as I was. Then he licked her fingers and Sondra giggled. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard.

“His tongue is rough, like paper sand.”

“Sandpaper,” Darryl corrected her.

“Da. Sandpaper. What is his name?”

“Webster.” I grinned.

“Web-ster…” She looked back down at him. “Hello, Webster. You are fat cat, no? Larry feed you good. You are fuzzy cat.”

Darryl turned around again. “Well, ain’t this just some touching shit?”

Sondra’s face fell. “I sorry. If I make trouble, I leave…”

“No,” I said, shooting Darryl a dirty look. “Don’t mind Darryl. He’s an asshole. You’re fine here. You’re safe.”

“Safe…” She repeated the word like she didn’t know what it meant. Thinking back now, maybe she didn’t.

“Can you tell us what’s going on?” I asked. “Why were those guys looking for you? Who beat you up?”

“Whitey,” she spat. “That son of bitch, he hit me for last time. He is very mad.”

“That’s great,” Darryl said. “Now how about you tell us everything?”

“Can I, how you say…pee first? I get scared in parking lot and almost pee my pants.”

“Sure,” I said. “Follow me.”

I showed her where the bathroom was and turned the light and exhaust fan on for her. Webster waited outside the door. Obviously, he preferred Sondra’s company to me and Darryl. Can’t say that I blamed him. My cat had taste, just like me. I walked back into the kitchen. Darryl was seated at my table. He didn’t speak. Neither did I. Instead, I started brewing a pot of coffee.

“That’s a good idea,” he said finally. “Something tells me we’re in for a long night. Coffee would hit the spot.”

“Yeah.”

“So while she’s in there, let’s call the po-po.”

“No, man. You heard what she said. No police. Let’s at least hear her out. If the Russians knew how to find us, they’d be here by now.”